NFL Free Agents 2015: Need-to-Know Information About This Year's Market

NFL free agency starts on March 10, and you had best be ready, because it's going to dramatically alter the league's landscape.

Fortunately for you, I'm here to help you sift through the information and determine what you absolutely need to know about 2015 NFL free agency. And there's some real good stuff, playboy.

In this column, you'll learn about the putrid class at quarterback that's noisome enough to wrinkle noses and make small children weep. You'll find out about about the loaded groups at wide receiver and pass-rusher, and that fantasy football will look a lot different next year with what's sure to be a ton of running back movement.

And I'll also tell you which teams are going to spend like drunken sailors, and who the best player is that no one is talking about.

So sit back and relax, homie. I got you covered.

Here is the need-to-know information about the 2015 NFL free-agent market.

The QB Market Is Atrocious

Michael Perez/Associated Press

Does your favorite team need a quarterback? Are you one franchise passer away from competing for a Super Bowl title? Are you this close to the playoffs and believe that a competent signal-caller could get you into the tournament?

If that's the case, I pity you. Because this ain't the free-agent class for you, homie.

The list of free-agent quarterbacks reads like an "NFL player most likely to drive a fan to murder" list: Mark Sanchez, Brian Hoyer, Josh McCown and Jake Locker are just a few of the headliners. And no, that's not good.

Sanchez and Hoyer are probably the two best available options, and if they're the answers, I'd love to know the question. Actually, I do know the question: Which turnover-prone passers will completely sink your favorite team's playoff hopes?

It's bad. Real bad. And when you delve past Sanchez, Hoyer and McCown, it doesn't get any better. Does Jason Campbell excite anyone except Jason Campbell's family? (Spoiler alert: No.) Can Jake Locker stay healthy? (Spoiler alert: No.) Can Michael Vick invent a time machine and travel back to 2003? (Spoiler alert: No; although that'd be pretty sweet.)

If you're reading this, I sincerely hope that your team either has a solid quarterback or will have the opportunity to draft Florida State's Jameis Winston or Oregon's Marcus Mariota. 

Because the free-agent market at the position will offer you little to no relief.

Expect the Raiders, Jaguars and Jets to Open Up Their Checkbooks

Ben Margot/Associated Press

Imagine, for a moment, that you owned the worst wardrobe known to man. Your clothes are so horrifically lame that no woman would even give you the time of day.

Now imagine that you received a huge lump sum of cash. What would you do upon securing those greenbacks? Chances are, you'd head straight for a high-end clothing store and start upgrading your wardrobe in the hopes of achieving future success.

This free-agent period, the Oakland Raiders, New York Jets and Jacksonville Jaguars are the guys with no style who have the opportunity to buy scores of it. All three teams possess a ridiculous amount of salary-cap space (Oakland has $50 million, the Jets have $48 million and Jacksonville has $60 million, per Spotrac), and it's likely that all will aggressively seek to upgrade their rosters once the new league year starts on March 10.

Jaguars coach Gus Bradley and general manager David Caldwell have won seven games in two seasons, so expect them to spend like a spoiled rich kid on The Real Housewives of Duval in an effort to save their jobs. 

New Jets general manager Mike Maccagnan is surely smart enough to know that his predecessor—the hapless John Idzik—was fired partially (OK, mainly) due to the fact that he refused to spend money last offseason, instead doing his best impression of a miser with alligator arms.

And Raiders general manager Reggie McKenzie has a chance to make up for last year's mistakes on the market and bring the Silver and Black back to respectability.

Now, it's always possible that these three teams won't know what clothes to buy, and will end up looking terrible regardless. But their fanbases should be excited, knowing that the purse strings are about to be loosened and cash is about to be thrown around in a manner that would make Justin Bieber blush.

The Market at Running Back Is Strong

Bob Leverone/Associated Press

While running back has become a devalued position among NFL teams, fans are still enamored with the position—largely due to the widespread (read: insane) popularity of fantasy football.

And there are a number of quality running backs set to hit the free-agent market that should leave fans intrigued with what's to come in 2015.

The class is headlined by Dallas Cowboys stud DeMarco Murray, whose physicality and violent running style helped him lead the league in rushing last year. It's unlikely (but certainly not impossible) that he'll return to Big D, and his situation will be fascinating to watch unfold.

But Murray ain't the only stud, homie. Players like New Orleans' Mark Ingram, San Diego's Ryan Mathews, Baltimore's Justin Forsett, Miami's Knowshon Moreno, Buffalo's C.J. Spiller and New England's Shane Vereen and Stevan Ridley will also be on the market. 

The legendary country singer Waylon Jennings famously crooned, "Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys," but given the lack of big-money contracts doled out at the position, he might as well have been talking about running backs. So it's entirely feasible that the players listed above (with the possible exception of Murray) won't break the bank or hamstring a team's efforts to sign other players.

With all the movement sure to take place at running back, the fantasy football landscape will be altered significantly. And that's more fun for everyone who partakes.

Franchise Tags Could Prevent Top Players from Hitting the Market

Nam Y. Huh/Associated Press

Is there anything worse in life than pursuing someone, only to find out that he/she already has a significant other? 

Imagine how NFL teams feel when they think about players like Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant, Detroit Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Justin Houston, Denver Broncos receiver Demaryius Thomas and New York Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul (just to name a few).

All of those star players are slated to be free agents, but there's a rub: It wouldn't be a surprise if all (with the possible exception of Suh, due to a $26.9 million cap hit that would be triggered) of the aforementioned players were slapped with the franchise tag and kept on exorbitant one-year deals by their respective clubs.

It would be like finding out the girl of your dreams is newly single and devising a complicated, harebrained scheme to win her over. You'd invest both time and emotion into the plan and operate under the assumption that she's gonna be your girl.

And then—right as you're about to execute your plan and begin the process of convincing her to be yours—you find out that she got back together with her ex. Gut punch doesn't begin to describe it, playboy.

So if you're excited about your team signing one of the players listed above, just be aware that their ex is still in the picture and don't get too emotionally attached, yo.

Need a WR? Free Agency Is the Place for You!

Elaine Thompson/Associated Press

Excuse me while I polish off my used-car salesman voice.

OK, ready!

Tired of watching your favorite team's receivers drop pass after pass, hanging their quarterback out to dry like button-down shirts in a cheap laundromat? Are you sick of the devastated look on your quarterback's face when his receivers can't create any separation, making a successful passing game an impossibility? Well, we've got the free-agent class for you! On March 10, so many receivers will hit the market that it's going to make your head spin! And for an easy installment of millions of dollars, one of them could be yours! And if you pick up the phone in the next 30 minutes and dial us, we'll throw in a backup tight end—absolutely free!

That's right: The free-agent class at wide receiver is absolutely loaded. So don't worry, teams with horrendous passing games, help could soon be on the way.

Even if the top two receivers on the market (Dallas' Dez Bryant and Denver's Demaryius Thomas) are hit with the franchise tag, there will still be a number of terrific pass-catchers available, led by 24-year-old Green Bay Packers stud Randall Cobb. Baltimore's Torrey Smith, Philadelphia's Jeremy Maclin and San Francisco's Michael Crabtree will also be available, among others.

So if your team is looking to move its passing game into the 21st century, now is the time to act. 

Don't delay. Order now!

There's a Veritable Cornucopia of Pass-Rushers

Evan Vucci/Associated Press

Trying to win the Super Bowl without a pass rush would be like trying to lose weight while subsisting entirely on a diet of bacon cheeseburgers: It ain't happening, playboy.

But for all those teams out there with issues getting at the opposing quarterback, I have good news for you: Help will soon be arriving on the free-agent market, and it'll arrive in droves.

Buffalo's Jerry Hughes, Carolina's Greg Hardy, Jason Pierre-Paul of the Giants, Kansas City's Justin Houston, Baltimore's Pernell McPhee and Washington's Brian Orakpo are just a few of the big-name pass-rushers set to hit the market, and there are more behind them. Outside of a quarterback, a big-time pass-rusher is the most important piece needed on a roster to help compete for world championships.

And even if your favorite team doesn't have the resources to break the bank for one of the players listed above, there are solid secondary options as well, from Atlanta's Osi Umenyiora to Cleveland's Jabaal Sheard to Pittsburgh's Jason Worilds. 

If you can't get at the opposing quarterback, you can't win. That's why on March 10, teams will be lining up to improve the pass rush—and given the vast amount of options, they'll have the opportunity to do so.

Ravens LB Pernell McPhee Is the Hidden Gem

Amy Sancetta/Associated Press

In every walk of life, there's always someone that comes out of relative obscurity to surprise the masses with his/her performance.

Think about it: At your workplace, there has to be someone that no one expected to shine who just dominates. Or someone that has received no fanfare for a long time but is quietly ready to explode onto the scene.

As it concerns the 2015 NFL free-agent class, that player is Ravens linebacker Pernell McPhee.

McPhee is only 26 and compiled 7.5 sacks last year despite starting in zero games and serving as a part-time player. He has a stunning combination of speed and power and is an adept run-stuffer in addition to his skills rushing the passer. 

If your favorite team needs a pass-rushing linebacker, you should be hoping that your team takes a long, hard look at McPhee. 

He's the hidden gem of the 2015 free-agent class.

Don't Believe the Hype

Uncredited/Associated Press

Every year, we're treated to a series of rumors that has every single big-name free agent signing with every single team that has a little bit of cash to throw around.

Oh, Ndamukong Suh? He's going to re-sign with the Lions! Oh, what's that you say? You heard he's going to the Raiders? Nah, I was just talking to a buddy, and he said Suh is going to Jacksonville. And wait, you were on Twitter and read that Suh is going to Cleveland?

It's like when a serial monogamist gets out of a relationship and a group of guys tries to figure out who she's going to date next. It could literally be almost anyone, but that doesn't stop the rampant speculation from occurring over beers and wistful wishes.

As the free-agent period draws nearer, the scuttlebutt will be coming fast and furious. Players will be linked with teams that make sense and with teams that make zero sense. You will be positively certain that Player X will sign with Team Y, only to watch Team Z come out of nowhere to seal the deal at the 11th hour.

Remember last year when then-Bills safety Jairus Byrd (the gentleman in the above picture) hit the market? He was one of the most buzzworthy players on the market, and it was a stunner when he inked a big-money contract with the New Orleans Saints. 

So as March 10 approaches, don't believe the hype. Don't get sucked into the drama. Because the bottom line is that no one really knows what's going to happen until it happens.

Just sit back and enjoy the ride, homie. Like always, it's going to be a fun one.

Nick Kostos is a featured NFL columnist for Bleacher Report and a host for Bleacher Report Radio on SiriusXM. Follow Nick on Twitter here.