15 Instances When It's Actually OK to Cry in Sports
So much of the language of sports is about toughness—we talk about a team being in "gut check" mode, or an athlete "playing through injury." Win or lose, players and coaches are expected to move on to the next battle.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, crying is simply not acceptable at any level where "winning isn't everything, it's the only thing." Essentially, crying in sports becomes taboo at the stage when running to third—instead of first—on a base hit draws angry tirades rather than adoring laughter.
In a sense, you could say crying and postgame ice cream share the same fate for athletes and coaches.
But for all the stoicism and competitive posturing, it can't be denied that sports inspire some of the strongest emotions outside of love and death. So, it may be possible for the sports universe to relegate the act of crying to a rare and unusual sight, but it can't preclude it.
Therefore, crying can be an acceptable form of emotional expression, under specific circumstances and situations. These are 15 instances when it’s actually OK to cry in sports.
Athletes: When You Win a Gold Medal
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An Olympic gold medal. Athletes who complete at the highest level in certain sports often participate in one or more events annually in which they are rewarded with medals, so breaking down into tears every time starts to look insincere after awhile.
The Olympics, however, are an entirely different story. They’re only every four years, the entire world is watching and it’s often the culmination of a lifelong dream. And although there are a select few who repeat, the vast majority of athletes don’t stand on that first-place podium more than once.
So if you get there, feel free to cry your eyes out.
Fans: When Your Rival Crushes Your Dreams
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Losing to a hated rival is always a soul-crushing experience, but there’s a major difference between just losing and losing with something very significant on the line.
Example of when it’s not OK to cry: Recently the Bears were absolutely demolished by the division rival Packers—a truly embarrassing rout. But the Packers always demolish the Bears and the Bears don’t have a prayer of making the postseason.
Example of when it’s totally OK to cry: In 2013 No. 1 Alabama was BCS championship bound—the only thing standing between it and yet another championship was Auburn in the annual Iron Bowl. (And no, the sacrificial lamb from the SEC East in the SEC championship doesn’t count.)
Then Auburn beat the Tide in the most excruciating way possible, winning the game after returning a failed field goal as time expired. Had Bama just taken a knee, the game would’ve gone to overtime. Ouch.
Athletes and Fans: When Good People Are Struggling with Bad Things
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Any longtime fan, particularly those who frequently attend games in person, knows that sports have the power to bring out the worst in people. Thankfully, they also have the power to bring out the best.
Celebrating military members, veterans and survivors of tragedy in pregame ceremonies has become a regular occurrence. Sports also tend to honor their own whenever possible.
Former Saints safety Steve Gleason’s very public battle with ALS is somehow equal parts devastating and heart-warming. The harder it seems to get, the more he fights to raise awareness and money for the cause.
If Gleason’s story hasn’t made you cry at least once, you’re made of stone.
Athletes: When You Find out Your'e Being Inducted into the Hall of Fame
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Being inducted into the Hall of Fame is a pretty big deal, so an athlete crying, particularly when he learns of his impending enshrinement, is definitely OK. Cris Carter really humanized himself during the NFL HOF announcement in February 2013.
The actual ceremony usually takes place months later, by which time emotions shouldn’t be running quite as high. Shedding a few tears that day is fine, but nobody wants to see a grown man sob his way through a speech. Cry it out early and get it together in the end.
Fans: When You're Under the Age of 12
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Fair or not, kids get a free pass for all kinds of behavior that don’t fly for adults. The acceptance of unconditional crying—no matter the time, place or circumstance—is just one of the many perks of being a child.
Of course, all good things must come to an end. Those adorably hilarious YouTube videos of kids having short-lived emotional breakdowns because their team lost or favorite player got traded become just sad at a certain point.
Every child is different, so it’s difficult to put an exact age on this. Let’s just say 12 is the absolute cutoff because nobody wants to see a teenager do anything.
Athletes: When Being Drafted in Person
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Being drafted is a pretty big deal, but it happens to a few hundred people every year, so the acceptability of an athlete crying depends entirely on the circumstances.
This is case-by-case stuff, but it’s generally OK for an athlete to shed a few tears publicly if he’s been invited to attend the event in person. The biggest stages are often emotionally overwhelming.
Athletes and Fans: During the National Anthem
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For both fans and athletes, there’s no shame in crying during the national anthem. Patriotic tears are the manliest of all the tears.
By the way, if you've never cried during the "Star Spangled Banner," you probably shouldn't even call yourself an American.
Athletes: When You Win a Championship
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An athlete who cries publicly after winning a championship shows just how much he cares and how passionate he is about the game—people love that.
An athlete who cries publicly after losing a championship shows that he’s weak or a poor sport—people don’t love that as much. That’s not to say players on the losing end of a championship should be emotionless or stoic—people don’t love that as much either!
But save the crying or yelling for the locker room and put on a brave face for the cameras. Otherwise you may never hear the end of it.
Fans: When You Win or Lose a Championship
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Athletes shouldn’t cry publicly after losing a championship because the reality of the situation is that many of them having millions of dollars to help pad the blow of defeat. And, although they’re playing a game, it’s still their job.
Fans, on the other hand, get a pass on the waterworks after winning or losing a championship. We invest a lot of time and money into our teams and, for most of us, seeing them play for a championship is a pretty rare occurrence—if we’re lucky enough to see it at all.
Win or lose, an outpouring of emotion when all is said and done is totally acceptable. Just try to leave it in the moment, OK? There’s no reason to record the entire self-nullifying display and put it on YouTube.
Athletes and Fans: When Your Child Is Competing
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As anyone who has children will tell you over and over and over again, there is nothing more important to parents than their children. That’s why they are so invested—sometimes over-invested—in their sporting endeavors.
While sobbing uncontrollably (or starting fights!) at little league games is never acceptable parenting behavior, getting emotional over noteworthy accomplishments at a higher level is absolutely acceptable.
Recently Sharks goalie Troy Grosenick recorded the first shutout of his NHL career…in his very first start! His father, Scott Grosenick, was on hand to witness his son’s milestone and couldn’t contain his case of the cries.
Athletes: When Announcing Your Retirement
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The decision to walk away from the sport that you love and (likely) the highest-paying job you’ll ever have isn’t an easy one for most athletes. Nor is it one they make lightly.
That is why shedding a few tears during the announcement is totally acceptable, if not preferable. As long as it’s not an athlete that has been teasing retirement for years or retiring for a second time.
Fans: Anything That Involves Tom Brady
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Listen, I’m not afraid to admit that, as a lifelong Steelers fan, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has made me cry on more than one occasion. He’s dashed my dreams so often over the last 14 years that when the Packers defeated the Steelers in Super Bowl XLV, I fell asleep mumbling about how it was probably a Tom Brady conspiracy.
I know I’m not alone here. Fans of the Colts, Jets, Dolphins, Bills and Broncos all know what this is all about—maybe you don’t all cry about it, but surely you’ve thought about crying about it. And, on a personal level, Peyton Manning must feel pretty victimized at this point too.
It’s not just that Brady is great at football and loses, on average, once every nine games or so. He’s also winning at life. Dude is rich, successful, handsome, married to a supermodel, and if Brady’s Facebook page is any indication, he’s actually quite a lovely human being with a surprisingly engaging sense of humor. It's like some cruel joke...
Patriots fans probably break down into tears just being in his glorious presence—like Italians with the Pope.
Athletes: When You're Talking About Your Mom
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When Thunder superstar Kevin Durant broke down into tears while discussing his mother during his 2014 MVP speech, he instantly became a new favorite athlete to millions of people around the country. Many of whom were probably moved to tears themselves.
Athletes are often criticized as selfish or uncaring within the context of the game, but Durant’s display was a very welcome reminder that these guys are human too. Receiving the biggest honor of his NBA career to date, KD made the moment all about his mom.
Fans: When Your Team Relocates
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This one doesn’t need much of an explanation. Losing a championship is nothing compared to losing your entire team.
If your team relocates to another city, please feel free to cry about it forever. Or until it returns. Whichever comes first.
Athletes and Fans: When Sick Children...Appear Anywhere
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There is literally nothing in the world sadder than the suffering of a sick child. It’s horrible when anyone gets sick, but when it happens to children, who are forced to fight for their lives before having a chance to live them, it feels particularly cruel.
And then to see how well someone like Leah Still, the cancer-stricken daughter of Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still, handles it all. In the face of a life-threatening disease, she’s handling herself with more bravery and dignity than I do after finding a bug in the house.
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