An Early Look at Potentially Hilarious Fantasy Football Team Names for 2013
Fantasy football is starting up, and there's only one thing that will separate you from the championship in your league.
An epically hilarious team name.
On a serious note, these won't help you win your league. You'll need actual fantasy football talent. Something that draftniks like myself struggle with.
However, I always have some great team names and will never let that stop me from my eventual demise in my fantasy football leagues.
Follow along for nine of my favorite suggestions for this year's fantasy football teams.
Tyrann, Tyrann so Far Away
Sing it with me!
And Tyrannnnn, Tyrann so far away!
OK. So we probably shouldn't sing...
However, the combination of Flock of Seagulls and the future free safety make a perfect match both in Arizona and for a Cardinals—or Honey Badger—fan's fantasy team.
The Blair Walsh Project
The Blair Witch Project was one of the creepiest movies ever.
Blair Walsh on the other hand has shown that he is one of the best kickers in the league after one year.
Vikings fans will enjoy the irony in this name because it's anything but scary when the kicker lines up to pop one through the uprights.
Belichick Yourself Before You Rex Yourself
So come on and Belichick yo self before you Rex yo self
Belichick yo self before you Rex yo self
Yeah, Belichick yo self before you Rex yo self
Cause Mark Sanchez is bad for your health
I can just hear Das EFX and Ice Cube rapping it now.
Then again, this just sounds more like coaching advice than an actual fantasy football team name.
Breesus Christ Superstar
This man saved a franchise.
Ironically, that franchise was the Saints.
It almost writes itself as a movie. Or in this case, a Broadway musical.
And with the bounty situation that led to a poor season last year, the Saints could use a redemption again.
What Would Jones-Drew?
Every city has its own version of a football Jesus.
Pocket Hercules—aka Maurice Jones-Drew—is just the Jaguars own.
Fortunately, the Jaguars finally look to be headed in the right direction as a franchise.
And they got there by asking, "What would Jones-Drew (do)?"
Zac Stacy's Mom Has Got It Going on
And hopefully so does Zac Stacy.
As a bit of a cult hero for the draftnik community, Stacy is a common choice when people were asked who the next late-round back to make an impact would be.
And unlike the Fountains of Wayne song, Stacy himself may have a lot going on.
Still, it's always fun to sing "Stacy's Mom."
Is That Your Final Ansah?
Let's all Chris Bermanize this one in our heads.
Ziggy Ansah will create some trouble for quarterbacks this year.
Unfortunately for us, Ziggy will already have millions of dollars this year.
So we won't ever hear him asked this question.
The Garden of Weeden
How many almost 30-year-old rookies are in the NFL?
Last year, it was just one. There hasn't been one over the age of 27 in a long time.
Like almost back to Chris Weinke.
Weeden is still old for just a second-year player.
I wonder if he knows how Eve is doing.
Revis and Butthead
Huh-huh What, Revis?
I am the great Coverallio!
I need receivers to stonewall!
OK. I'm done. If you made it this far and appreciate my bad jokes, well, thank you.
And if you have some good ideas, feel free to leave them in the comments!
All stats used are either from Pro Football Focus's Premium Stats, ESPN, CFBStats or the NFL. All contract information is courtesy Spotrac and Rotoworld. All recruiting rankings come from 247Sports.com.
Scott Carasik is a Featured Columnist for Bleacher Report. He covers the Atlanta Falcons, NFL and NFL Draft. He also runs DraftFalcons.com.