20 Current "Fat" Athletes Who Are Still More Athletic Than You
Fact: Your New Year's resolution probably had something to do with going to the gym and trying to lose some holidays pounds.
But for some pro athletes, not even resolutions can get them in shape.
While most athletes are strong and fast, there are a few that get by on the Dunkin' Donuts diet and are still able to perform at a high level.
So go ahead and try to improve your mile time to sub-eight, because these players are still in much better shape than you actually are.
Angel Cabrera, PGA Tour
Though this Argentine golfer might not beat any of the other world's top golfers in a race to their ball, he has certainly held his own on the links by winning two Majors in his career ('07 US Open and '09 Masters).
Jeroen Verhoeven, Dutch Club FC Utrecht
We understand that goalies don't necessarily have to run around the pitch for 90 plus minutes like the other 10 guys, but you'd think that they'd require a body that was a little bit better than Verhoeven's!
The current FC Utrecht goaltender actually held down a spot between the pipes for Dutch powerhouse Ajax for two seasons, proving that everyone loves a little cushion for pushin'...away shots that is.
Miguel Cabrera, Detroit Tigers
The reigning AL MVP and Triple Crown winner, Miggy can rake better than most baseball players, but he isn't exactly the sveltest out there.
For Cabrera's sake, we're just glad baseball uniforms are stretchy and don't form to the curves of your body, otherwise he might not be as quick turning on an inside pitch.
Lamar Odom, Los Angeles Clippers
When you think of fat athletes, Odom might not naturally pop into your head. After all, it's not like he's a heffer out there trying to keep up.
Even with all that added weight, bro's got more range than you ever had.
Phil Mickelson, PGA Tour
Who doesn't love Phil?
Though he's looking leaner recently, the Cali-born golfer has always packed a little pudge on him, with his man-boobs a widely debated topic.
Chunky or skinny, breasts or no breasts, Mickelson can still put a golf ball anywhere he wants to.
Pablo Sandoval, San Francisco Giants
Did you ever have that kid in middle school who was somehow athletic, even though he was just a little bit heavier than most of the other kids? We certainly did.
That's what we liken Sandoval to; a big, chunky kid.
With a nickname like "Kung Fu Panda," the reigning World Series MVP has proven to be both a cult-sensation and a viable leader for a Giants team that has won two of the past three World Series.
Zach Randolph, Memphis Grizzlies
Though the man they call "Z Bo" might not have an affection for cats, that doesn't mean he doesn't make the net purr when he's hooping it each night for the Grizz.
If there was any doubt about this pudgy forward, look no further than how he performed during the 2011 Playoffs when he lead an underdog Memphis team to an upset of the No. 1-seeded Spurs, while pushing OKC to seven-games in the Conference Semis.
David Ortiz, Boston Red Sox
When a dude's nickname is "Big Papi," one would assume that guy's a beast, and in Ortiz's case, that definitely holds true.
The beloved Red Sox DH/1B has sustained a long career with some of the most clutch and unbelievable moments in postseason history.
He may be big, but whatever he's doing is apparently working.
Boris Diaw, San Antonio Spurs
With Diaw, looks can certainly be deceiving.
When the Frenchman first came into the league, he was a scrawny wing-player. But if you look at him now, well, it's clear he wasn't able to hold off on the donut diet during last year's NBA lockout.
But even after coming back a reportedly 50 pounds heavier from the previous season, Boris has contributed nicely with the Spurs these past couple seasons.
Adriano, Brazilian Club Flamengo
As you can see in the picture, Adriano isn't bashful about baring some skin following a goal.
Problem is, the current Flamengo striker doesn't exactly look like he used to when he was in top form and was looked at as the next big striker for the Brazilian national team.
The fact that he can run as much as he does throughout a match while carrying a belly that big means he's still in better shape than all of us.
Any NFL Defensive Tackle
It'd be easy to give you a list of the NFL's fattest guys and give them their own slide. But come on, we're better than that!
But these guys are strong and quick; otherwise they wouldn't be pro athletes.
Prince Fielder, Detroit Tigers
He can rip the wrapper off some junk food while ripping the cover off a baseball.
This four-time All-Star first baseman is one of the most feared hitters in the game thanks to his combination of patience and power.
He earns brownie points (fitting) for his hustle on the base paths, too. It looks like a runaway beer truck.
Andre Smith, Cincinnati Bengals
While it's usually a good thing for scouts and coaches to talk about an NFL workout, for Andre Smith's performance in 2009, the talk wasn't necessarily a positive thing.
He may look like a jelly roll that escaped from the package, but the dude has turned himself into a Pro Bowl-caliber Guard for an up-and-coming Bengals squad.
Sebastian Janikowski, Oakland Raiders
When a franchise is willing to drop its first-round pick on a kicker—albeit that team is the Raiders—the guy can usually wale a damn football.
And for the past decade plus, that's exactly what Janikowski's been able to do, consistently making 50-yarders look like mere chip shots.
With a leg like that, we dare you to call him out of shape...just remember to wear a cup when doing it.
Emanuel "Tiny" Yarbrough, Sumo Wrestling
If there's any doubt as to his nickname, "Tiny" being ironical, you have zero sense of humor.
As the World's Heaviest Professional Athlete—tipping the scales at almost 700-pounds—this sumo wrestler would absolutely demolish anyone who got in his way.
The fact that a guy his size can even keep enough oxygen flowing running around on the mat is impressive enough.
John Daly, PGA Tour
We're convinced that Daly's good at two things: crushing beers and crushing balls.
The king of the long drive, Daly doesn't look the part of a pro athlete, but the fact that he's held on to his tour card for as long as he has is a testament to how talented this guy was/is.
Eddy Curry, Former NBA Player
Curry was a former No. 4 overall pick out of high school by the Bulls in their post-Jordan years and actually achieved some small success on the court before a heart condition slowed him down.
Now playing for the Zhejiang Golden Bulls in the Chinese Basketball Association, he may not beat you in a foot race, but he can definitely own you one-on-one.
CC Sabathia, New York Yankees
Sabathia, one of the most consistent pitchers of the past decade, is definitely never shy to accept a cheeseburger (or three).
It seems every spring training there're questions or concerns with CC's playing weight, yet he continues to stay healthy and pound out 200-plus innings, leading the Yanks' staff.
Glen "Big Baby" Davis, Orlando Magic
He's dropped some pounds over the past couple years, but take a look at the big man, and it's easy to see why they call him "Big Baby."
For a big man, Davis is pretty nimble and can actually shoot the rock at a fairly consistent rate.
But for our money, the highlight of his career was the game-winner he hit vs. the Magic in the playoffs a couple years ago—just look at how he man-handled that poor kid!
Butterbean, Pro Boxing
Known as the "King of the 4 rounders", Butterbean might be the one athlete on the planet you'd want to avoid saying any fat jokes in front of.
Sure, there're boxers that are quicker and more nimble, but with a career record of 77-8-4 (including 58 by knockout), we'd say he's done pretty well for being as big as he is.