Dear Jay Cutler...

Dear Jay,

Hi, my name is Josh McDaniels. If you don't know that by now, you're an idiot. I am the guy Pat Bowlen hired to replace your longtime coach Michael Shanahan.

To list my credentials, I've served as a offensive coordinator for the New England Patriots where I've mentored a quarterback who hasn't started a single game since high school to a 11-5 record in the NFL.

One thing I want to make clear by now is that I run the team. That means I can cut anyone, trade anyone, or videotape anyone. If you have a problem with that, see the Bowling Pin that hired me. 

Second of all, I'm sure you have noticed, I like the New England System.

This is why cast-offs such as LaMont Jordan and Lonnie Paxton can now call you their new teammate. In fact, I like New England so much that I considered bringing in a guy who hasn't started a single game of college football to take your place. No offense.

OK, I have to admit that I have gone way over my head, and now I'm in damage control. I thought I was the boss around here, but apparently the city of Denver sways to another guy by the name of Cutler. No, I'm not talking about the bodybuilder.

You have formally requested a trade and I'm sorry to say that I have to respectfully decline your request. You see, it's not so much about you anymore, it's about me.

The city of Denver will crucify me if I allow the franchise quarterback to leave. Besides, I can not bear the snickering of my old boss in his bathroom, clipping his toenails, when he hears the damage I've caused.

So Jay, I now formally apologize to you. On behalf of the city of Denver wanting my head, I plead for you to stay. You have shown me that a coach isn't the most powerful position on the team, and I learned that the hard way.

If I knew how this was going to turn out, I should have stayed in Massachusetts where I could enjoy a nice cup of coffee once in a while without people throwing nude pictures of bodybuilder Jay Cutler at me.

                                                                           Yours Sincerely,

                                                                                         Josh McSorry