Chicago Bulls' Playoff Chances: Head vs. Heart

Like Bruce Banner or Dr. Jekyll, we sports fans can have double personalities.

On one side, there's the fan, who believes the impossible is possible, who will sit in minus three degree temperatures with a smile, and who is willing to paint any body part at any time in support of his team. I call that part "The Heart."

The other side of any sports fan worth his salt is more based in reality. This is where your insane knowledge of stats, roster lineups, league trends, and history comes to mind. In this corner, we have "The Head."

Today, rather than just discuss the Bulls and their hopes for the NBA Playoffs, I'm going to moderate and let my better halves duke it out for your enjoyment. Enjoy!

Me: Gents, the Bulls are in a bit of a pickle. They're 30-37 right now and are sitting right outside the last Eastern Conference Playoff spot. What do you think they need to do to ensure they get the jump on Milwaukee?

My Head: Well, it's simple. The current lineup, since the super-trade last month, is finally starting to gel together. Continue...

My Heart (interrupting): Man! This isn't even a question. Let D. Rose take all the shots. Dude is four different kinds of unstoppable, and I'm pretty sure he could moonwalk across Lake Michigan if he wanted to.

Head: But Chicago has an issue. If Luol Deng is out for the rest of the season, that could prove to be a big deal.

Heart: I'm telling you, just leave it to D. Rose. He's half-man, half-amazing.

Me: Moving on. Head, you mentioned that "super trade" earlier. Do you think itgave Chicago enough pieces to make a postseason run?

Head: Well, yes and no. Salmons is having a pretty decent year, and Brad Miller is definitely an upgrade, but there's nothing terribly world-changing about the new players.

Heart: Yeah man, I wish they would have traded for Gasol, then we wouldn't be in this mess.

Me: What mess?

Heart: Think about it. This is the Chicago Bulls, dude! They have the best all-time record in NBA history! Now, I'm supposed to get excited for Tim Thomas? We shoulda pulled the trigger on Gasol, Kobe, Iverson, Wade, and Shaq. Now that would be a basketball team I'd pay to see! Woo!

Head (looking confused): Um, yes. But as I was saying, the Bulls are entering a gut-check period. They have a rough stretch with Boston, the Lakers, and the suddenly interesting Miami Heat coming to the UC.

Heart: Don't make me laugh. The Bulls can beat all three of those teams easily.

Me: Well, to be fair, Boston, Miami, and L.A. have all beaten Chicago this season.

Heart: Yeah, but that was then. Boston's all hurt, Miami is a joke, and I'm sure that a lineup of me, you, Brain over there, D.Rose and Aaron freaking Gray could work Kobe and those fruits.

Head: But I thought you liked Gasol and Kobe?

Heart: Key word thereis "liked." I live my life by two rules: No fat chicks, and if they don't play for Chicago, they're dead to me.

(Moderator and Head glance at each other)

Me: Hmm. Well, I should wrap this up. Closing statements, guys?

Head: The Bulls can definitely get this done. They're going to have enough chances to win a lot of the remaining games, and providing everyone stays healthy, they should make a strong case for that last seed.

Heart: Meh. I say they lose out. That gives them a better draft pick and then they start building the new Bulls, or as I call them, "Derrick Rose and The Pips." Oh, and D-Wade? COME HOME IN 2010!

Me: Err...alrighty. Thank you both for your time. I'm off to see a shrink.

(Note: This might be a bit off-topic, but I'll say it again for you slackers: Don't sleep on FSU in the big dance this year.)