The 30 Most Played-out Sports Cliches

Nick Dimengo@@itsnickdimengoFeatured ColumnistSeptember 19, 2012

The 30 Most Played-out Sports Cliches

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    If you watch sports, you've heard the same bologna for years. Hell, it happens every single draft when a quarterback is "can't miss," and "on everyone's radar." But if it were that easy to predict a player's career, there wouldn't be guys like Ryan Leaf or Michael Olowokandi.

    As coaches, media, athletes, and above all commentators try to motivate each other without pissing off their opponent, sports cliches were born.

    And thanks to the real-time, Twitter and Facebook universe we live in, they all need to be extremely PC on what they say. The last thing you want is to be the one who gives the bulletin board material for the week.

    Okay, we really need to start writing this thing, we're turning into a walking cliche as we speak.

"We Have the Utmost Respect for Them."

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    Okay, sometimes this one isn't exactly proven to be right all the time...

"He's the First One in the Building and the Last One Out"

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    So what you're saying is the team's practice facility is either at his house, or he doubles as the janitor, too?

"These Fans Are Rockin'!"

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    We'd hope so, with ticket prices these days, most fans did pay a month's salary just to be there.

"You Could Hear a Pin Drop in Here"

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    We're not sure what type of pin you use to fix a button, but ours usually fits in a pocket.

"Nothing Comes Easy in This League"

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    If playing a professional sport were that easy, you can bet your ass we wouldn't be writing this right now.

"They Have Unbelievable Chemistry"

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    Bet they've never finished each other's sentences before.

"The Coaches and Front Office Rave About Him"

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    And he's gotten their approval to date their first-born daughter.

"He Brought His 'A' Game Today"

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    As opposed to every other game, when he was just running around, trying to get a good workout in.

"He Does All the Little Things"

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    But if you expect him to put the team on his shoulders, you definitely can't expect him to step up.

"He's Just a Natural Born Leader"

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    Meaning if he wants to get a group of teammates together, you'll have no choice but to follow his lead.

"It's Do or Die Right Here"

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    So you're saying they're in really big trouble then?

"This Guy's Absolutely Unstoppable"

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    But if you call a timeout, it happens to be halftime, or he takes a rest, he won't be as productive as he currently is.

"The Dude Is a Physical Freak!"

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    But it's the mental stuff that really makes us worry...

"They Won't Be Denied Today"

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    Unless they just happen to lose, than yeah, they were denied.

"He Overcame a Ton of Adversity"

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    We're not sure getting a free ride to college is adversity, but okay...?

"On Paper, They're the Team to Beat"

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    Unfortunately, spell check doesn't catch real-life performances.

"His Mind's Just Not in It"

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    So don't expect him to know what the hell's really going on.

"It's All About Winning for Me"

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    But if he happens to get offered a couple more million bucks somewhere else, don't be surprised if he takes the money.

"This Game Is All Mental"

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    So that concussion or torn ACL happened because they just weren't thinking.

"I Just Want to Thank God"

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    ... For making him a 6'5", 230-pound quarterback, with a laser rocket arm.

"Defense Wins Championships"

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    So you're saying if you score more points than the other team, you don't win? We're confused...

"He Took That One for the Team"

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    So basically, he pulled the short straw, and had to volunteer to get hit by a 100-mph fastball.

"They Have All the Right Pieces"

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    Unfortunately, not all those pieces happen to be in the right box. It can be tough trying to stuff a square peg into a round hole.

"They Really Put Forth a Great Effort"

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    Unfortunately, this isn't elementary school, so "Exceeding Expectations" doesn't really count as a passing grade.

"You Know What They Say, 'It's a Game of Inches'"

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    So ignore all the numbers on the field and wall that are measured in yards and feet.

"It's Been a Tale of Two Halves"

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    Lucky for you, you turned the game on at halftime, because your team completely blew it in the first half.

"They're Really Sending a Message"

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    So never expect them to lose ever again. And we just hope they used UPS; otherwise things can get pretty expensive.

"Blood, Sweat and Tears"

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    Just because you're physically able to produce each one of those things, it doesn't make you a winner.

"He's the Missing Part"

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    The guy he's replacing has to feel really good about himself right about now.

"He's on Fire"

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    Not literally, though, that might cause some people to freak the hell out!


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