The Morning Tailgate

Red Sox designated hitter, David Ortiz, is the latest player/coach/whatever to speak their mind about the steroid issue. On Monday, Big Papi said he wants players who test positive for steroids to be suspended from baseball for a year instead of the current 50-game penalty.

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“I would suggest everybody get tested, not random, everybody,” he said. “You go team by team. You test everybody three, four times a year and that’s about it.”

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This morning, we hand over our ceremonial tailgate bratwurst to Big Papi.

Along side that piping, hot weiner…we present a urine cup. Go ahead, Dave…fill ‘er up.

You see, all of this player/coach/whatever lip service is exactly that; lip service. That is, until someone steps up and away from the boisterous Player’s Union. Pee in the freaking cup. It’s not that hard. You want us to believe? Fill ‘er up.

February 17

1943 - Yankee star Joe Dimaggio enlists in the Army. Could you even fathom the media coverage if Derek Jeter quit the team to join the military? Bristol, CT might just spontaneously explode.

1963 - Arguably the greatest NBA player of all time, Michael Jordan, is born.  In honor of his birthday, the NBA had a horrifically boring dunk contest this weekend, unlike when he was in it…

1964 - ESPN baseball writer Buster Olney celebrates his inaugural birthday.  Seriously, Michael Jordan is older than Buster Olney? Consider us surprised.  ###MORE###

To: [e-mail] 

From: [e-mail]

Subject: you got hosed

Dear Freddie,

Sorry about your luck. You deserved better, but it’s clear Coach Del Rio is acting under orders and that he has no balls.

You’re the face of the Jaguars and a likely Hall of Famer to boot—just because the team doesn’t honor that over money, doesn’t mean your fans and peers don’t respect your accomplishments.

I can sympathize with your state of mind because a similar thing happened to me last year. I was the face of the franchise for over a decade, active in the community and an all around good dude. I got my walking papers, then had a better season than every receiver those assholes employed.

Sorry for cursing; minister’s aren’t supposed to do that.

– Isaac Bruce

We’d appreciate it very much if the headliners at FoxSports would take the proper measures to ensure that they aren’t using their forum to mock one of the great high school movies of the 80’s.

Ronnie Miller appreciates it.

In an unscientific JSF-nation poll, 99 percent of respondents chose “What a freaking idiot, this guy should be beaten and locked up,” while the other one percent chose “no opinion on the matter”.

Seriously Jason, you’re a dipshit. And your three-year-old son agrees.

Sebek officially abstains from usual Tuesday “Fan of the Week duties because he’s in DC for “business.”  If you can consider visiting a celebrity hair dresser “business”