Gabermetrics: Miami Heat Loss, US Open Magic and More

The US Open is in the cards for one golfer after a magic putt, ESPN got their math all wrong and though the Miami Heat lost game 5, the real loser was fashion.

Welcome to another exciting edition of Gabermetrics, a column that is only slightly about numbers. 

While the bigger sabermetric dorks are pining over VORP, we can dissect the bigger stories in our own geeky way. 

This has been a magical few days, so let's turn down Wednesday in the only way we know how, with silly stories from the land of sport. 

Miami Heat + 1 win = 0 

ESPN had their finger on the publish trigger a little too tightly and released this picture that has made its way round the Internet machine today. 

SportsGrid reports on the matter and even gets some closure from the network. It seems it's a screen capture from the NBA on ESPN Facebook feed. 

It is also very much real, and something that was merely posted before it should have. 

It remains a screen capture that wins the Worst Math of the Day award. Sillies, the Heat need two wins to get to the finals, and that fact has the world freaking out right now. 

US Open Clincher 

42, 12 and 71-70 are the Magic Numbers of the Day. Consider them the digits that might be thrown out by Sesame Street's The Count, only they are brought to you by a chubby guy behind a computer and are regarding a chubby guy with some golf clubs. 

Dennis Miller is a 42-year-old golf director that tried 12 times to make the US Open. He finally made it in 2012 after scoring 71-70, and making it into the grand tournament. 

Oh, there happened to be the little issue of the putt that seemed to be destined to go in. If you haven't seen the magical video, there you go. 

Big Miami Loser 

Fashion took a major hit on Tuesday night as grown men decided to put on some ridiculous outfits and call it mission accomplished. 

First, there was newly engaged Amar'e Stoudemire that rocked a look best left in the 80's. He looked like a nerdy Mr. T and we can't forgive him for it. 

Lastly, we come to the empty frames seen around the world. 

Wade and the Heat may have dropped a heartbreaking game, but it didn't interfere with Wade getting his hipster on with these glassless glasses. 

This silly look at least took from the ridiculous outcome of the game. 

What does this section have to do with numbers? Nothing, much like the rest of the column. If we must, we can shout like Count Von Count. Two, two NBA hipster doofuses, ah, ah, ah. 

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