7 NFL Storylines That We Can't Wait to Be Over With

With the free agency merry-go-round slowing to a crawl, and the NFL draft still a month away, we're entering one of the NFL's few slow periods. But the 24-hour-news beast must be fed, so the cud that passes for news will get chewed and re-chewed ad nauseam.

America—and, increasingly, the world—has an almost-insatiable appetite for the NFL. But there's only so many times we can be fed the same story over and over; only so many different ways to spice up the same ingredients.

Even the most delicious dish is unappetizing after your 13th helping, and we're well past that when it comes to some NFL storylines. Like Meatloaf Monday when you were a kid, it seems like some NFL characters have regular slots in the news cycle whether they're doing anything interesting or not.

Here are seven stories making even the most gluttonous NFL fan push away from the table.

Bill Parcells, NFL Something-or-Other

Bill Parcells is one of the most important figures in NFL history.

Head coach of the NFL's 1990s All-Decade team, "the Big Tuna" has two Super Bowl Championship rings and two AP Coach of the Year awards to his name.

Parcells' greatest legacy, though, is his coaching tree. In his time as head coach of the New York Giants, New England Patriots, New York Jets and Dallas Cowboys, Parcells worked with dozens of top assistants, many of them became prominent coaches themselves.

But now that one of them, New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton, is facing a yearlong suspension, Chris Mortensen of ESPN reports Parcells may grab his former protege's reins.

At 70 years old, Parcells is no spring, er, tuna anymore, and the NFL requires extreme commitment. His most recent stint as Dolphins VP of Football Operations was an unqualified failure, and his success with the Cowboys wasn't lasting. If Parcells isn't serious about this, it could be a disaster.

Parcells has always liked seeing his name in lights, but maybe it's time for those lights to go dark.

Is Tom Brady Good?

Tom Brady is a seven-time Pro Bowler, a two-time All Pro and a three-time Super Bowl Champion. He was voted MVP for two of those Super Bowls, and MVP of the entire league in 2007 and 2010.

But a late-game interception in Super Bowl XLVI have some wondering if Brady has become a choke artist. His success with unspectacular targets like Troy Brown has been eclipsed by his success with transcendent talents like Randy Moss and Rob Gronkowski, leading some to claim Brady's overrated.

Yes, Brady is good. No, he's not a choke artist. No, his legacy is not ruined, even if he never leads the Patriots back to the mountaintop. What he's already accomplished speaks for itself.

Peyton Manning, Denver Bronco

Peyton Manning held the entire NFL hostage with his free-agency courtship. The NFL's version of "The Bachelor" had Manning linked to the Miami Dolphins, the Seattle Seahawks, the Arizona Cardinals and even the Tennesee Titans before he signed with the Denver Broncos.

Those hoping the hype train would slow down after the ink dried have had their hopes dashed. At the time of this writing, NFL.com has a Peyton piece as its lead story, a "Hot Topic," a "Latest Headline," a sidebar interview and atop the "Around the League" section.

The Los Angeles Fill-in-the-Blanks

It's ridiculous that the NFL, King of all American Sports, doesn't have a team in the nation's second-largest city. Ever since 1994, when the Raiders moved back to Oakland and the Rams moved to St. Louis, the City of Angels has been without the NFL.

Since then, every team from the San Diego Chargers to the Jacksonville Jaguars has been heavily linked to LA. Often, the threat of LA relocation has been used to build leverage for a new stadium (see: Minnesota Vikings).

Most recently, Rams owner Stan Kroenke put in a bid on the Los Angeles Dodgers. Since Kroenke is on the NFL's Los Angeles committee, the idea he might move the Rams back to LA has serious legs. So serious, the NFL and MLB considered talks to iron out cross-ownership rules if Kroenke won the Dodgers.

But not serious enough to get it over and done with after 18 years of rumors.

Andrew Luck or RG3?

Peyton Manning or Ryan Leaf? Ever since the Indianapolis Colts faced that fateful choice at the top of the draft, every subsequent pair of top quarterback prospects has been compared to those two.

The Colts' newest choice, Andrew Luck or Robert Griffin, has already been made, according to ESPN's Chris Mortensen. Of course, that doesn't stop folks from constantly speculating about whether Luck, the "safe" choice, is the right choice, as Manning was—or even if Griffin's the next Leaf.

Luck and Griffin are completely different prospects than Manning and Leaf—and in fact, are much more similar prospects than many realize. These shoes doesn't fit, but folks will be shoehorning them onto Luck and Griffin their entire careers.

Bountygate

Now that New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton has candidly admitted his mistakes in facilitating the Saints' infamous bounty program, you'd hope the scandal would be over—as well as the nonstop rumors, allegations and hype.

Instead, as CBS Sports' Clark Judge writes, the NFLPA "won't be satisfied" until its own Bountygate investigation is complete. For that matter, Commissioner Goodell has publicly stated the NFL's investigation remains open; other players and teams are still being tracked down.

Wasn't the point of Goodell's punitive damages to make sure nobody ever thinks about running bounties again? Wouldn't it be great if NFL fans never had to think about bounties again?

Tebowmania

Tim Tebow, displaced Denver Bronco starting quarterback and new New York Jet backup quarterback, was introduced in a press conference at the Jets facility.

Over 200 media credentials were issued.

Tebow, the greatest one-man controversy generator in modern sports history, has now been multiplied by the most competitive, headline-driven media market on the planet. The introductory presser was just an appetizer for what will surely be the greatest hype feast ever served to the American public.

Just imagine if he gets on the field.