Tim Tebow 'Bachelor' Nonsense Proves We'll Click on Anything with His Name

Yeah, Tim Tebow and "The Bachelor," because nothing syncs up better with the image of the nation's No. 1 goody-two-shoes than a bunch of attention-starved coeds pining for symbolic roses (when not fighting with one another) with streams of crocodile tears and plastic smiles deigned to make Timmy profess his true love in front of ABC's cameras, which will then record his wedding for a two-hour special.

And exhale.

This is so stupid; so stupid using a more flowery adjective for "stupid" wouldn't convey the sheer stupidity of this manufactured, Internet-fueled idiocy. Barring any headline that bears the keywords "Lin," "Date," and "Kardashian," this is easily the most vapid story our nation's make-something-out-of-nothing celebrity complex latched onto this week. 

Yet, here I am voluntarily writing about it, and there, all over the Web, are the masses devouring it, because attaching Tebow's name to anything is fun and attracts crazy interest. I saw it on HuffPo and immediately tapped the track pad. You may have caught a glance on the Hollywood Reporter or the New York Daily News or any other one of the other bazillion sites smart enough (Tebow = $) to write something about an idea so ludicrous. 

This scenario obviously would never happen, and, of course, it isn't. (The man himself even had to come out and say it.) But just the mention of Tebow on "The Bachelor," the sheer notion that the host—whatever his name is—mentioned Tebow was enough. Host guy says, "I’ve actually met Tim Tebow. I met him about becoming our next Bachelor...I think he’d be a great Bachelor.”

And the explosion begins. 

Then of course, we embrace the blast, just like we did with Kate Upton. And Katy Perry. And Taylor Swift. Because as stupid as is sounds, your mind has fun plugging in the All-American into such a situation:

Could you imagine Tebow sitting there in a tux, one rose in hand, forcing himself to choose between Bethany (24, Dental Hygienist, Austin, TX) and Ashleigh (23, Teacher, Dayton, OH) as "The One"? Even in his love life he'd be doing option reads. 

I'd watch every episode. So would everyone. Record ratings. More importantly though, "The Bachelor" actually entered our collective conscience. It's an aging, niche reality show, yet a couple Tebow-related sentences by the host put it back in the mainstream. Smooth move by Mr. Host Guy. 

Want publicity? Reach out to Timmy. B/R could do a slideshow talking about the "50 Things Tim Tebow's More Likely to do Than Appear on the 'Bachelor.'" We could list "Jagermeister spokesman," "backup drummer for Megadeth," and so on.

Each would be equally as impossible as him following in Jesse Palmer's footsteps, but all of them would go huge online if somebody for those companies/TV shows/bands/whatever came out and linked themselves to No. 15.

"Producers Approach Tebow about Project With Lindsay Lohan"? Click, click, click. (Yours truly included.)