NFL Power Rankings: Chris Berman and the Worst NFL TV Personalities

The National Football League is the biggest sports league in America. For good or ill, many people must talk about it.

For a variety of reasons, some just aren't very good at it. Some are too opinionated. Some are too boring. Some are just plain annoying.

It sucks that many of these folks are employed by major media enterprises, and are paid big bucks to do the very thing that many of us would rather they not do: Talk about football.

Even NFL players are aware of the fact that some commentators fail at their jobs. Sports Illustrated conducted a poll of 237 different players, and they produced a list of 15 commentators they loathe the most.

Well, I'm not about to conduct a poll, and I'm not about to put together a list of 15 names. That would take too much time.

But I will put together a list of the 10 worst NFL TV personalities, and this is it. 

Honorable Mention: Skip Bayless

Let's talk about Skip Bayless for a few moments.

Yes, I'm afraid we must. I'm not a big fan of talking about Skip Bayless myself, and hearing him talk is one step below Chinese water torture, but talk about him we must.

This is because Bayless checked in at No. 8 on Sports Illustrated's list, a tell-tale indication that NFL players feel the same way about him that you and I do.

But he won't be appearing on this list. I would love to include him, but he's not just an NFL guy. Bayless specializes in everything.

Especially jackassery.

10. Merril Hoge

Merril Hoge has been working for ESPN since 1997. In that time, he's produced a handful of unique and insightful opinions.

But only a handful. The Worldwide Leader has many stooges at its disposal, and Hoge is not one of the best. Plain and simple.

My gripe with Hoge is that he tends to get a little too passionate when he talks about stuff. His infamous critique of Tim Tebow (see Pro Football Talk) back in August is a prime example. It's cool to break down a guy's problems, but you don't need to say it's "embarrassing" to think the Denver Broncos could win with Tebow, and you don't need to poke fun at him by saying "rah-rah speeches do not work!"

Dude, chill out. Leave this kind of talk for the fans. Just because many of them act likes clowns doesn't mean you have to.

Otherwise, it's embarrassing to think anyone would ever take you seriously.

9. Troy Aikman

Troy Aikman is one of the most overrated people in the history of anything. He was never a great quarterback, yet he made six Pro Bowls and got elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

He's not fooling NFL players when it comes to his announcing, though, as he comes in at No. 4 in SI's poll of the worst NFL commentators.

No argument here. Aikman is as wooden as they come, and it doesn't help that FOX pairs him with Joe Buck (more on him later). Aikman's commentary is oftentimes totally valueless, and not necessary to the experience of watching whichever game he's covering.

The good news is that Aikman is easily muted, and his insight is easily replaced by sounds like a rotating fan or the wind blowing outside. You won't notice the difference.

8. Deion Sanders

Deion Sanders was much more endearing when he was doing things on a football field that nobody had ever seen before. In those days, "Prime Time" was must-see TV.

These days, Deion is still Deion and he's still on TV, but you're not going to miss anything if you ignore him. His job is to provide some flavor and to occasionally flash his 1,000-watt smile. Sometimes he gets excitable, and starts shouting.

Deion is not a "look how complicated this sport is" commentator. He's a "OMFG look how awesome this sport is!" commentator. There were more than enough of those before he came along.

The only difference is that he's Deion Sanders.

7. Cris Collinsworth

How insufferable is Cris Collinsworth?

He's No. 1 on SI's list. 

Yup, in the mind of the league's players, he's that bad. 

I didn't get it at first, as Collinsworth doesn't come to mind as a guy who is truly bad at his job.

But then I got to thinking, and I realized that the reason Collinsworth doesn't seem so bad is because he's paired with Al Michaels, who is very good.

On his own, Collinsworth would be doomed. When he talks, he sounds like he couldn't care less about what is going on down on the field, he occasionally goes a little too far with his criticisms. 

We should all be thankful he doesn't work alone.

6. Terry Bradshaw

Terry Bradshaw has two claims to fame.

The first is as a four-time Super Bowl champion quarterback with the Pittsburgh Steelers back in the 1970s. He wasn't very good, but the team around him was truly great.

Bradshaw's other claim to fame is that he's the loudest and most obnoxious football clown in television history. He's been annoying audiences for decades now, and he seems to be getting worse every year.

Or maybe he's just not getting better. I certainly wouldn't notice if he was, as I'm typically too busy slamming my head against the wall and screaming for the voices to stop whenever Bradshaw is on TV.

Oh, and don't even get me started on Failure to Launch.

5. Phil Simms

If there's one thing Phil Simms wants you to know, it's that he knows more than you do.

"You" in this case includes every living soul under the sun. That makes Simms the most knowledgeable man on the planet.

Either that or the most pompous.

Yeah, I'm going with the most pompous. Somebody should tell this guy that nobody cares what he thinks.

Wait, somebody did. 

"Phil, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t watch your show, along with a lot of other people that I don’t think watch that show."

That would be Peyton Manning, speaking openly and honestly about Inside the NFL to the Indianapolis Star.

And speaking for all of us, of course.

4. Herm Edwards

Ever wonder how Herm Edwards got hired at ESPN? I'll tell you.

ESPN Boss: "Hey Herm, you know how you used to yell all the time and it was really funny?"

Herm: "Yeah."

ESPN Boss: "Can you do that for us?"

Herm: "How much you gonna pay me?"

ESPN Boss: "A lot."

And that was that. Herm has been yelling for ESPN ever since.

At first, it was pretty awesome, as it was nice to wrap up one's day by being yelled at by Herm Edwards while watching SportsCenter.

But now, I'd honestly rather turn on Terry Bradshaw and slam my head against my wall.

3. Jon Gruden

When Jon Gruden was the head coach of the Oakland Raiders, he was awesome. When he was the head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, he was awesome.

Heck, Jon Gruden was awesome in his first year at ESPN, as he breathed some much-needed life into Monday Night Football.

At some point, things started to go downhill.

For me, it was the "Gruden's QB Camp" thing. It was (still is?) an absolute waste of valuable broadcast minutes, not to mention a complete waste of time for the young quarterbacks ESPN lassoed to confront Gruden. 

To make matters worse, Gruden's freshness on MNF has completely dried up. His input typically consists of saying "Nobody does [blank] like [blank]" about 44 times a game. Once for every name he drops.

Honestly, I miss Dennis Miller. Somebody needs to give Gruden a coaching job.

2. Chris Berman

Part of me wants to sit down and have a few beers with Chris Berman, as it would be pretty cool to knock a few back and shoot it with a guy who has been with ESPN from the very beginning.

The other part of me realizes that would be a bad idea. After all, if Berman is as bad as he is sober, I can only imagine what he would be like after a few bruskis.

There's no point in sugarcoating anything. Berman has been utterly intolerable for a long time now, and he's a guy that I know truly is getting worse every year. The only worthwhile thing he's done in the last decade is grow a mustache.

NFL players aren't crazy about him either. He's No. 2 on SI's poll.

As you can tell, I agree.

1. Joe Buck

I only have one question.

Does anybody actually like Joe Buck?

More to the point, is anybody actually entertained by him?

The answer has to be no. I know this because Joe Buck does everything in his power not to be entertaining, and it is therefore quite clear that he has no interest whatsoever in being liked.

Joe Buck has no redeeming qualities. He's the most emotionless announcer in the history of emotionless announcers, totally incapable of getting excited about anything. Yet FOX insists on letting this man call both the Super Bowl and the World Series.

Every man in America would love to have this honor. But when Joe Buck speaks, he sounds like he could do without it.