One Player on Every NFL Team Who Needs to Be Benched

The National Football League features some of the finest athletic specimens in the world, finely tuned human machines that combine strength, speed and power to be the very best in the world in what they do.

However, on each of the 32 teams in the NFL there's a weak link in the chain, a player that would best serve his squad by spending as little time on the field of play as possible. It's those starters we'll "celebrate" here by looking at one player on each team in desperate need of some pine time.

1. Buffalo Bills

SIT HIM: Leodis McKelvin, cornerback

The Bills are a somewhat surprising 5-3 in spite of McKelvin's best efforts to make opposing wide receivers look good.

Really good.

2. Miami Dolphins

SIT HIM: Matt Moore, quarterback

How dare you throw three touchdown passes and win a game! Do you not understand what the Dolphins are trying to accomplish this season?

3. New England Patriots

SIT HIM: Devin McCourty, cornerback

I'm really not trying to pick on cornerbacks, although if there's one thing McCourty knows, it's getting picked on.

4. New York Jets

SIT HIM: Santonio Holmes, wide receiver

If he got paid every time he shot off his mouth, he'd be Bill Gates. If he got paid by the catch, he'd be broke.

5. Baltimore Ravens

SIT HIM: Bernard Pollard, strong safety

Pollard can tackle with the best of them, but he couldn't cover a bed with a sheet.

6. Cincinnati Bengals

SIT HIM: Cedric Benson, running back

Benson has averaged less than four yards a carry both this year and last. It's time to give Bernard Scott a shot.

7. Cleveland Browns

SIT HIM: Peyton Hillis, running back

Whether it's the contract hullabaloo or the Madden Curse, he's nowhere near the player he was last season and won't be back next year, so it's time to move on.

8. Pittsburgh Steelers

SIT HIM: Lawrence Timmons, linebacker

Timmons is a classic example of a player who signed a fat contract extension and then fell completely off the map.

9. Houston Texans

SIT HIM: DeMeco Ryans, linebacker

Not sure if it's the switch to the 3-4 in Houston or all the injuries catching up to him, but Ryans has been invisible this season.

10. Indianapolis Colts

SIT HIM: Everyone, everywhere

Right, like I'm supposed to be able to pick just one guy from this steaming crap pile of a team.

11. Jacksonville Jaguars

SIT HIM: Aaron Kampman, defensive end

Kampman was a very good defensive end once upon a time, but the 10-year veteran's knees are shot.

12. Tennessee Titans

SIT HIM: Chris Johnson, running back

The size of Johnson's paycheck is the only thing keeping him in the starting lineup, which is sort of ironic given that it's what caused this whole mess to begin with.

13. Denver Broncos

SIT HIM: Tim Tebow, quarterback

It ain't gonna happen, but if you can't complete 50 percent of your passes, then you have no business being a starting quarterback in the NFL.

14. Kansas City Chiefs

SIT HIM: Matt Cassel, quarterback

Quarterbacks get the glory when things are good and the blame when they're not, and after getting pasted by the winless Dolphins, guess which one you are going to get, Matt?

15. Oakland Raiders

SIT HIM: Carson Palmer, quarterback

Remind me again why giving away two high draft picks to acquire Carson Palmer was a good idea.

16. San Diego Chargers

SIT HIM: Philip Rivers, quarterback

We'll just bench every signal-caller in the AFC West, because maybe a game off would remind Rivers that throwing passes to the other team isn't generally a good idea.

17. Dallas Cowboys

SIT HIM: Felix Jones, running back

This one's likely a done deal, because in Jones' absence, rookie DeMarco Murray has taken hold of the gig at running back in Big D and, well, run with it.

18. New York Giants

SIT HIM: Greg Jones, linebacker

The fact that Jones is starting at all shows just how paper-thin the Giants are at the linebacker position.

19. Philadelphia Eagles

SIT HIM: Asante Samuel, cornerback

Malcontent defensive backs that tackle like six-year-old girls aren't usually high on my list of favorite players.

20. Washington Redskins

SIT HIM: John Beck, quarterback

The only thing keeping Beck in the starting lineup is the fact that his backup is Rex Grossman.

21. Chicago Bears

SIT HIM: Lance Louis, offensive tackle

Louis would probably be a great matador, given how adept he is at pulling the old "OLE!" move while pass-blocking.

22. Detroit Lions

SIT HIM: Jeff Backus, offensive tackle

After being eviscerated by Detroit supporters for (apparently) blasphemously suggesting that Chris Houston is anything but top notch I'll switch the pick here to Backus before a mob of Lions fans shows up at my door with pitchforks and torches.

Crap, too late. They're already here.

23. Green Bay Packers

SIT HIM: Aaron Rodgers, quarterback

Just making sure everyone's paying attention.

24. Minnesota Vikings

SIT HIM: Kevin Williams, defensive tackle

Williams is nowhere near the force inside that he once was, and it's time for the Vikings to move on.

25. Atlanta Falcons

SIT HIM: Michael Turner, running back

He's playing fine, but I'm just trying to get Turner a breather, because at the rate the Falcons are feeding him the rock, Turner's legs are going to fall off.

26. Carolina Panthers

SIT HIM: DeAngelo Williams, running back

Something tells me that if the Panthers knew this was the return they'd get on their sizable investment, they would have just let Williams walk in free agency.

27. New Orleans Saints

SIT HIM: Jonathan Vilma, linebacker

Vilma has always been a bit of a streaky player as a pro, but the streak he's on right now is of the absolute worst kind, as he's been a total non-factor this year.

28. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

SIT HIM: Mike Williams, wide receiver

Williams has had three kinds of games this year: so-so, bad and absolutely hideous.

29. Arizona Cardinals

SIT HIM: Kevin Kolb, quarterback

The Cardinals have 63 million reasons to give him a long leash, but the fact of the matter is Kolb flat-out hasn't played well this year.

30. San Francisco 49ers

SIT HIM: Braylon Edwards, wide receiver

It's hard to find too much fault with the 7-1 49ers, but Edwards is an oft-injured head case who can't catch, and that's good enough for me.

31. Seattle Seahawks

SIT HIM: The entire offensive line

They're an offensive line all right, in that their play has been pretty offensive this season.

32. St. Louis Rams

SIT HIM: Lance Kendricks, tight end

The rookie was a trendy fantasy football pick as a sleeper at his position before the season, but during it he's just been asleep.