NFL: The Handshake Should Be Under Review After Jim Harbaugh vs. Jim Schwartz

A handshake is not a handshake when it's followed by a back slap and a shove.

My mother always told me two wrongs do not make a right.

Jim Harbaugh's emotions took him far beyond the sportsmanship line of post-game graciousness. The greeting that follows the gridiron battle was first designed as a way to illicit a conciliatory atta boy, or a congenial meeting of congratulations and condolences.  

But, the entire process should go under the hood for further review.  Having coach's meet at mid-field after an emotional game is not a great idea.  It's kind of like going to the bully's house after he beat you up to say nice fight.  There has got to be another way.

Roger Goodell should look at the process of the handshake, in it completeness.  He should make sure that four fingers wrap around the under belly of the other coaches hand and the thumb clamps down hard to ensure a fit that is gracious.  And, if the handshake goes beyond the normal clamp in terms of zeal, zest or seem somewhat pugilistic, then there should he a flag for excessive celebration.  The team's coach, who incurs the infraction would then sit in a small sound proof booth, like NHL players in a penalty box for the first quarter of the next game.

Has anyone ever been on the sideline for an NFL game?  The fast athletes are adorned with should pads, helmets and are put on the fastest playing field that anyone can find.  Then, they're coaches  ask them to smash into each other for 60 minutes.  At the end of the game, one team is declared the winner for having more points than the other team.  That's football.  It's a boxing match with eleven players on the field.  

 The handshake should come with a surgeon general warning: The interlocking of flesh after a gladiator battle is not a great idea.  And, there should be a ghostbuster symbol on that whole process, just like you should not operate heavy machinery after drinking alcohol.

There has to be a cooling off period.  A time of five minutes, where each coach can sit on a block of ice.  Maybe the NFL can have an ice sculptor carve the logo of each team on a block of ice and put one on each sideline.  Then, after the coach sits on the ice, he can walk toward the other coach in the middle of the field. When they get to about 20 yards of each other—a safe distance—they simply wave to each other.

Dear Roger,

Go ahead and hand out fines.  Go ahead and make everyone know that the NFL has things under control.  But, consider that the handshake after the game needs to go to the competition committee.  It needs to be changed.  It needs to be changed because the sport is not ballroom dancing.  It needs to be changed because after a game, the leaders of the teams, that just finished the contest, don't really have any interest in sitting down to have a friendly conversation.  In other words, the handshake needs to go under review.