B/R Daily Radar: Hottest Stories for Wednesday, October 12
Theo Epstein is about to break another curse, the Tigers failed to roll over and die and the Men's US Soccer team is losing again.
Welcome to the Daily Radar, a place to laugh, cry and throw barbed comments at the athletes we so admire.
You want a story higher on the rankings? Well, leave a comment. And be sure to check back all day as we add hot stories, re-rank them and deliver it all in a cute little package.
.jpg?w=256 "Colts Jaguars Football")
Let's Dish.
1. CHICAGO CUBS WILL HAVE WHAT THOSE BOSOX ARE HAVING
According to WEEI, Theo Epstein is primed to take over the Chicago Cubs, also known as the team that is the grim reaper of players, coaches and general managers. The brash GM has the cojones to believe he can fix the Cubs. What nerve.
Question on Everybody's Mind: What is Theo Epstein thinking?
Our Take: I agree that everything the Cubs touch turns into Mark Prior's arm, but this is a genius move. If Epstein brings a World Series to the Cubs, he will go down as the best GM of any sport at anytime, in the history of the universe...ever.
Hype Meter: 5-out-5 Pale Sammy Sosas
With the Red Sox, Theo Epstein basically accomplished the equivalent of making Michael Richards funny again. If he does the same in Chicago, it would be like making Eddie Murphy relevant. The Chicago Cubs may return to a Beverly Hills Cop way of playing, and wouldn't that be something?
Related Link: WEEI's John Dennis Reports Theo Out in Boston
Related Link: Theo Epstein Agrees With Cubs, Leaving Red Sox in a Bind
2. BOSTON RED SOX KNOW HOW TO PARTY
The Red Sox nation is being torn asunder. As we all know, asunder tearing is horrible for them but great for us fans. Reports have alleged that Tito was popping pills and the pitching rotation was fond of pounding beers and fried chicken. Just like me.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Did the BoSox throw the season away?
Our Take: Please don't be naive to think that this isn't happening all over the league. Look at Jose Valverde's gut for crying out loud. The 1986 New York Mets won it all, and they were blacked out for most of the season.
Hype Meter: 5-out-5 John Lackey Beer Guts
The only thing we love more than Yankees and Red Sox news is Yankees and Red Sox scandal. This sexy story will be flogged until it gets uncomfortable.
Related Link: Theo Epstein to Cubs Ignites a Twitter Response
Related Link: ESPN covers Boston Beer Party
3. TIGERS CLAW, ROAR AND OTHER "TIGER-LIKE" THINGS TO THE RANGERS
For serious, this has been a great MLB postseason. Please stop searching for Tim Tebow coverage America and watch some damn baseball already.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Do the Tigers have a shot to even the series?
Our Take: You bet your fastballs they do. Game 4 should be the opposite of a pitcher's duel, where anything can happen. The Rangers don't want to face Justin Verlander with the series tied. In fact, they don't want to face him period.
Hype Meter: 4-out-5 Jose Valverde Tummy Tucks
I am going to hope that this game gets the run it should during the day. But I fear it will begin to slide as fantasy football and Andy Reid's hot seat take center stage. Listen people, you never want to discuss Andy Reid's seat, hot or otherwise.
Related Link: ESPN Breaks Down Detroit Delight in Game Three
4. BREWERS AND CARDS DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER IN THAT WAY
The Brewers and Cardinals meet again in game 3, and a brawl is just as likely as Nyjer Morgan making me laugh.
Question on Everybody's Mind: So what gives?
Our Take: Nyjer Morgan called Albert Pujols "Alberta," so the two have been feuding since. I am guessing he either hates the province in Canada, or takes exception to the name for every fat girl I have met.
Hype Meter: 4-out-5 Tony Plushes and Rising
Papa Pujols will be steaming, Tony Plush (Morgan) will be fuming and Tony LaRussa may be napping. Oh man, don't miss this one Wednesday night.
The "I Don't Disagree" Tweet Award:
5. TIM TEBOW RESPONSIBLE FOR DEAD HORSE BEING BEAT
Every single plausible angle will be covered in the next two weeks before Tim Tebow takes a snap as the Broncos covered. We are about to give Tebow more run than Aaron Rodgers and Tom Brady. This must be what hell feels like.
Question on Everybody's Mind: No, seriously, what do you think of Tim Tebow?
Our Take: Tebow is an overrated quarterback. That's as far as I go because there is something far more disturbing to talk about. Have you noticed that Kyle Orton and Dave Grohl are never in the same place at the same time?
Hype Meter: 3-out-5 Horribly Grown Beards
This is merely day two of Tebow watch. Everything from the way he walks to the temperature of his farts will be measured by ESPN. I hope you are ready.
The "This is What I am Talking About" Tweet Award:
Related Link: Denver Post Can't Hide Their Grin
6. JURGEN KLINNSMANN MEANS INEPT IN GERMAN
The US Men's National Team lost to Ecuador in a friendly Tuesday night, which is like losing to Ecuador in absolutely anything else.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Is Juergen Klinnsmann on the Hot Seat?
Our Take: You don't lose your job after losing friendlies. That would be like getting docked pay for having a pillow fight in the board room. (I still say it was well worth it.)
Hype Meter: 2-out-5 Oguchi Onyewus
America is finally starting to figure out that soccer is a fine sport. It just sucks that the national team picks this time to play like Arsenal when my wife uses them in FIFA 12.
Related Link: USA Today Reports on US Failure
7. HOPE SOLO BLAH, BLAH NOT NAKED BLAH
Hope Solo will continue her stint on Dancing with the Stars Tuesday. This week it was Chynna Phillips getting the boot. I know, hopefully they can have a celebrity version of DWTS one day.
Question on Everybody's Mind: Have we seen too much Solo?
Our Take: Not yet. I admit that after her naked pics in ESPN the Mag, everything else seems like tofu and carrot sticks. But I am still interested by the goal keeper, at least until Chaz Bono sends her to the showers. Wait...I am interested again.
Hype Meter: 1-out-5 Booty Shakes
Hope Solo better do something on DWTS quick if she wants to maintain my interest. In fact, I say her and her partner bust out a Tuba Ruba in their next act. You all remember Tuba Ruba right???
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Until Tomorrow, TUBA RUBA everyone, the perfect way to get awkward with friends.
.jpg?w=480 "Colts Jaguars Football")
