Dallas Cowboys: Is America's Team the Sorest Winner in Sports?

Imagine this possible phone conversation between Dallas owner Jerry Jones and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell:

JJ: Hey, Rog, how ya'll doing up there today?

RG: We're fine Jerry, we're up to our necks in it, but it's business as usual.

JJ: Listen, Rog, I'm gonna cut right to the chase here. 'Ya know, you may or may not be aware of it, but those dad-gum Redskins were cheatin' like a bunch of high school freshmen Monday night at our place.

RG: Howso, Jerry?

JJ:  Well, I wasn't on the field, but Romo told me that our center told him that those guys on defense were hollerin' out the snap cadence, you know, confusing our center, and that's not good, 'cause darn-it, you know Phil Costa was havin' a tough time snappin' the ball to Tony, dadgummit. I think I could have done better, but then I find out the other guys are hollerin' out the snap count. Now you know that's cheatin' Rog, that's cheatin', and it ain't right."

RG: Jerry, I'm sure if that was the case, our officials would have handled it.

JJ: Handled it? Have you looked at game films this season; the refs haven't handled much right this year.

RG: Now Jerry, you know we don't want you talking bad about the officiating.

JJ: Well, that's just between you and me, right, Rog? This is completely off the record.

RG: Always, Jerry, always.

JJ: You need to have someone look into this; we just can't have guys cheating out there. Look at those Giants players faking injuries last week. This is getting laughable.

RG: Now, Jerry, there was no proof there were faking.

JJ: Proof? Just look at the game film. If they try that against us, I'm gonna sue someone.

RG: Now Jerry, let's not get carried away.

JJ: So what are you gonna do about this cadence stuff Rog?

RG:  I'll have someone look into it; you have my word on that Jerry.

JJ: Well, that's a fine howdy-doody. Look Rog, we have the league's reputation at stake here.

RG: I'll have someone look into it, Jerry. Sorry, I've got another call; it's Cedric Benson's agent.

JJ: Well he's a cheater too; they're all cheating, and we just can't have this.

RG: We'll talk again Jerry, so long.

Click.

Meanwhile, Tony Romo's still trying to sort all this out.

"We've got the snap thing worked out," Romo said. "Costa (Phil) said the d-line kept calling out the snap counts. We'll get that worked out. We'll tell the league and see if that's something that can be fixed because you're not supposed to be able to do that. So we'll see. But we can't have that happen. We shouldn't have been in that situation."

Of all the dastardly deeds!

Is there no end to cheating in the NFL?

Well, Dallas sure better tattle on the Redskins. We don't want this sort of thing to spread, do we?

Next thing you know, guys will start faking injuries to stop the clock. What's that, you say? Oh yeah, right; they're already doing that.

Maybe this all simply falls under the "doing whatever it takes to win," mantra. After all, the Redskins were the visiting team; isn't the visiting team allowed to cheat just a little on the road?

The Dallas Tattletales, er, Cowboys, need to be reminded that they won this game.

As for Dallas center Phil Costa and those wild-pitch shotgun snaps?

Perhaps a little practice might help.