25 Years of Champions: The 1988-1989 Detroit Pistons
This article was originally posted, unedited for language, at Rude 'Tude Sports.
With the lockout in full swing, there has been very little NBA news, if any, to talk about since July 1st. With that and a keen eye for a sale in mind, I purchased the NBA’s “25 Years of Champions” DVD set. Join me as a take time out every indeterminate-amount-of-days and re-live every champion’s team-approved highs and lows, from the 1979-1980 Lakers to the 2004-2005 San Antonio Spurs.
Do people genuinely like the Bad Boys Pistons? When I think of the Bad Boys, I remember only negative things, all them not actually taking place during the championship years: Isiah Thomas freezing Michael Jordan out of the 1985 All Star Game, walking off the floor without shaking the Chicago Bulls’ hands after losing in the ’91 playoffs, Isiah being a terrible color analyst, Bill Laimbeer, Isiah destroying the Raptors, Joe Dumars building up the Pistons of the ‘00s only to draft Darko Milicic and destroy them, Isiah destroying the Knicks, Isiah destroying his family, Isiah destroying his legacy, and so on. And yet, I also romanticize the Bad Boys as one of those teams that never should have won but did, TWICE. I suppose Dennis Rodman had something to do with that. Haven’t I mentioned that I love Dennis Rodman? Yes? Anyway, with that, I prepared myself for the story of the real-life Bad News Bears and began…
MOTOR CITY MADNESS: 1988-1989 DETROIT PISTONS: Part 1
1 of 60:08 – What made the Pistons tick? Bad haircuts and their lesbian head coach? If I looked like that, I’d Chuck Daly, too (get it?).
0:52 – Thank God I know what happens in this Finals already, or else I’d be so lost.
1:30 – Dick Stockton. ‘80s synth jazz. Y’all horny?
2:57 – Not gonna lie, these buzzer-beaters rule.
4:10 – I was about to complain about why we’re hearing about everyone but the Pistons, but this kinda rules. You get a yearbook AND championship special in one!
4:50 – Vintage Mark Jackson.
5:18 – Vintage Mark Jackson.
5:46 – All Star Weekend highlights! I am having a love affair with this special. They even have Legends Game highlights!
7:09 – This is a touching tribute to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, but I can’t help but wonder how much better it would be if Kareem didn’t look primed for an atomic wedgie. What a dork. For real, he looks like Bill Haverchuck. Not exaggerating.
8:44 – Vintage Mark Jackson.
9:25 – Charles Barkley looks like a pug. And you know how I feel about pugs.
MOTOR CITY MADNESS: 1988-1989 DETROIT PISTONS: Part 2
2 of 60:24 – Michael Jordan unleashing his to-be-imitated Michael Jordan walk.
1:50 – What the hell was that.
2:40 – Not gonna lie, NBA highlights and Ennio Morricone just go together. They just do.
4:11 – Kurt Rambis looks like a divorced dad. James Worthy wants this weekend to end so he can go back home to Mama Magic.
5:16 – Hey, who is this fat douche?
5:54 – Loving these KJ highlights. KJ’s game reminds me of a contemporary player, but I can’t place who. Brandon Jennings, maybe?
6:29 – Holy mother of God.
6:38 – I can’t handle this.
6:44 – DEAD.
6:58 – VINNIE NOOOOOOOO
8:34 – Good Lord, that rattail. You know it’s coming, but it gets you every time.
MOTOR CITY MADNESS: 1988-1989 DETROIT PISTONS- Part 3
3 of 60:03 – No one has a good haircut. NO ONE.
1:31 – I legit feel like I’m watching Freaks and Geeks. Everyone ugly, everyone freakishly skinny. And the language!
4:48 – RACIST.
5:09 – So Byron Scott missed the Finals completely and Magic gets hurt for the series in game 2? Can there be an asterisk on this championship? No one wonder they spent so much time on every other team, this ring doesn’t count.
7:20 – There’s nothing about Vinnie Johnson’s game that isn’t exactly like Ben Gordon. From their shooting form to their inability to dribble a basketball, they are truly two of a kind.
8:21 – I would not lounge in Doooooooooomars’ Den.
9:54 – The bad hair has moved to the crowd.
MOTOR CITY MADNESS: 1988-1989 DETROIT PISTONS: Part 4
4 of 60:45 – And there goes Magic. Roll credits.
3:15 – How does Worthy miss that free throw? For real. Shame on you James. Big Game, my buns.
3:46 – Magic Johnson running back on D like a constipated grandma. Strained hamstring, be damned. Big props to Magic for trying to play through the injury, but holy moly, that was embarrassing.
6:46 – “Scars of battle,” otherwise known as battle scars. That’ll happen when you’re competing for ships of champion.
6:52 – Kareem bustin’ out the MJ walk. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
8:18 – Michael Cooper is playing positively Matt Barnes-esque.
9:31 – David Rivers is one ugly young man.
MOTOR CITY MADNESS: 1988-1989 DETROIT PISTONS: Part 5
5 of 61:24 – This suddenly turned into a really crappy documentary about Joe Dumars.
3:45 – I take back what I said about Robert Horry in the last special. Robert Horry is John Salley.
4:46 – The Pistons do the classy thing and show some respect Kareem in his last game even as they wrap up their Finals sweep. The love for Kareem almost makes me forget about walking out on the Bulls two years later. Almost.
5:37 – Cool Pepsi shirt, Salley, you idiot.
6:08 – Holy moly, Salley. Kill yourself. PARTY. PARTY. PARTY. PARTY.
6:38 – This credits sequence is pretty cool, I guess. I’m into it. Yeah, I’m diggin’ it, I’m groovin’. PARTY. PARTY. PARTY. PARTY.
7:40 – Dennis with the water works. All this guy does is cry, Goddamn.
8:43 – Uh, great speech, Isiah.
MOTOR CITY MADNESS: 1988-1989 DETROIT PISTONS: Wrap Up
6 of 6Notes
- No one on the Pistons averaged over 20 points, 10 rebounds, or 10 assists. That’s gotta be some kind of record for a championship team, right? I’m not going to do the research.
- Nevermind, just did the research. The 2008 Boston Celtics did it, too. And the ’90 Pistons, but they don’t count. So no other team besides those two have ever done it! Color me impressed.
- John Salley really is Proto-Horry. Salley’s stats: 7 points and 5 boards in 21.8 minutes per game in ’88-’89. Horry’s stats: 9.9 points and 5.4 boards in 29.3 minutes. Horry had a few more points in a few more minutes, but Salley had a few more “PARTY” chants, so it all evens out.
- Darryl Dawkins played 14 games for this Pistons team in what was the last season of his career. He sadly did not make an appearance in the playoffs.
- There were some awesome names on this team. Forget Dennis Rodman, I’m talking about Fennis Dembo, Pace Mannion, and Jim Rowinski. It’s probably safe to assume that those three were better characters in a Kids In The Hall sketch than they were basketball players.
- This championship really was a fluke, I’m sorry. The Lakers didn’t lose throughout the playoffs until Finals, at which point they lost Scott and Magic to hamstring injuries. No chance. I’m not spending anymore time talking about this.
Rating: 8.2/10. Although the Pistons basically got lucky (For real. No Magic AND no Byron Scott? As lucky as you get.), this was a very solid special.
Loved the yearbook aspect of it and how we got to see the NBA as a whole. Pretty genius, actually. With the Finals happening in such “Yeah, but…” fashion, it was smart to focus on the year that was rather than spend too much time on how it ended.
Lots of cool highlights in this special that you won’t see on YouTube. And, as a sucker for hustle and heart, it doesn’t get any better for me than watching a young Dennis Rodman working his tail off and getting himself and the crowd pumped up. No amount of John Salley screen time can spoil that for me.
Finals Highlight:
Starting at the 2:35 mark of this video:
Finals Lowlight:
Kareem fails to retire with his dignity:
