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Richard Childress vs. Kyle Busch: Tale of the Tape: Who'd Win?

Russell SchmidtContributor IJune 16, 2011

CHARLOTTE, NC - MAY 20:  Richard Childress stands in the garage area during practice for the NASCAR Sprint All-Star Race at Charlotte Motor Speedway on May 20, 2011 in Charlotte, North Carolina.  (Photo by Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images for NASCAR)
Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images

Racin' with Russ - How did we get here? I mean, we're talking about a 65-year-old car owner looking to put a whooping on 26-year-old driver Kyle Busch?

A brief review if you've been in a cave for the past two weeks...Busch gets into Harvick more than once and right turns him into the opposite fence, then a pit lane incident where Busch drove into and away from Harvick...both receive double secret probation and a $25,000 fine.

Enter the truck race...the race where Busch took exception to being raced cleanly by Joey Coultar for fifth...rubs 'em after the checkers...within 30 minutes, Richard Childress locates Busch leaving his Hauler and proceeds to, amongst other things, get the young driver in a headlock with one arm and proceeded to pound the Toyota drivers face and head a time or three.

NASCAR enters the scene to say,"Hey old man...pay us $150,000 and watch yourself for the remainder of the year."

You have to wonder, however, had the two combatants been put in a ring to duke it out...street rules which means pretty much anything goes...who would win? The stocky 65-year-old grandpa or the praying-mantis-like 26-year-old Kyle Busch.

First of all, here's the tale of the tape, stats-wise, then a brief blow-by-blow of what might have occurred.

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Tale of the Tape:

Richard Childress - Age - 65    Weight -  245   Height - 6' 0"

Kyle Busch - Age - 26   Weight - 160    Height - 6' 1"

Ding....Round One.....Rapid Richie comes out of the corner in search of the M & M's Bad Boy Busch. They meet at the center of the ring with RR landing a pounding one-two combo with both fists to the face and head.

BB  Busch falls into the ropes with a dazed look and bloody mouth and nose. He rebounds off the ropes wobbly-kneed and falls to the canvas face down, before rolling over with writhing pain on his bloody face.

As the ref counts him out, 5 - 6 - 7 and BB struggles to gain consciousness, 8 - 9 - 10....

He's out! Rapid Richie Childress has beaten Bad Boy Busch in a record 23 seconds into the first and final round.

As the two fighters leave the area, fans can be heard chanting, "Richie, Richie!"

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