Shaquille O'Neal Retires: 5 Best Post-Career Jobs for Shaq

In case you haven't heard, sure-fire Hall of Fame center Shaquille O'Neal tweeted his announcement of retirement. It was the way he should have gone, saying goodbye first to his fans. 

However, Shaq isn't old. To my knowledge, Shaq's lifespan is about 120 years, given the fact that most people die at the height of under five feet. 

And because he's got about 80 years left in him, he's going to need to get a job. Not for the money—he's earned nearly $300 million throughout his career, and that's not including endorsements.

No, he'll need to do something just for the hell of it and to keep him out of trouble. Let's take a look at the five best jobs for Shaq, post-basketball.

Click away. 

5. Reality Television Show Producer/Host

Shaq has always been the kind of dude who loves the spotlight. He's fun-loving, personable, and really laid-back. 

People who watch TV love this. 

Shaq already has his show Shaq Versus (which, if you didn't know, he kind of ripped off from Steve Nash). It's done reasonably well ratings-wise and it's terrifically entertaining watching a seven-footer take on other people in sports dominated by people under six feet.

We've seen a jump from professional athletes who love being on the small screen. Take Lamar Odom, for instance, who has his own reality TV show, Khloe and Lamar. If a quiet fellow like L.O. can do it, so can Shaq. 

He's had enough experience in show biz, so this makes a ton of sense.

4. Twitter Spokesperson

Shaq is kind of already the spokesman for Twitter but still, why not make it official?

Shaq was one of the original athletes to use Twitter to keep in touch with his fans. Since he began using the social networking site, he's gained nearly four million followers, and is the most popular athlete on Twitter.

If you could put a face to Twitter, it'd have to be Shaq. 

We've seen athletes do this, too. Retired, probably not, but when you think Nike, you can't help but think LeBron James. And while shoes are synonymous with basketball (I'm sorry, but basketball shoes are the best. Kicks. Ever), Twitter is nearly synonymous with basketball fans, with the NBA's official Twitter account having more followers than that of the NFL's.

Having the most prolific basketball player in the past decade officially representing Twitter would be huge.  

3. Movie Actor

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

WESTWOOD, CA - JUNE 21: (L-R) Shaunie Nelson, Basketball player Shaquille O'Neal (#32 of the Miami Heat) and President of Marketing for Warner Bros. Dawn Taubin arrive at the Warner Bros. premiere of 'Superman Returns' held at the Mann Village Theater on

I'm sorry, I really am. But I have a confession. 

I loved "Kazaam."

I don't care what anyone says because I know, deep inside, every single person who watched that movie was crying on the inside, at the very least. 

In all seriousness (I do love "Kazaam," by the way), Shaq didn't do too terrible in "Kazaam." And in "Scary Movie," his most recent movie to date, he was pretty hilarious in the short time he was on screen.

Shaq's personable as hell, so he can make it on the big screen in silly, quirky, funny roles.

I have to be honest, though: As a lead man, Shaq would be horrible.

Despite that, Shaq can make the magic happen. Just don't ask for anything sentimental, though. He's not an ethereal.   

2. Assistant Coach

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

PHOENIX, AZ - JANUARY 28: (L-R) Rajon Rondo #9, Shaquille O'Neal #36, Kendrick Perkins #43 and Ray Allen #20 of the Boston Celtics react while sitting on the bench during the NBA game against the Phoenix Suns at US Airways Center on January 28, 2011 in P

OK, so maybe this one's not so silly. But it makes a hell of a lot of sense and it's smart.

If you were to name the one player who used his size and strength the best, your answer would probably be Shaq. Even though his 300-something-pound frame was bulky and made him slow, he threw his weight around effectively, using what he could and dominated the paint. He was a solid passer for a big man and the dude had awesome footwork. 

Think about it: It's tough to find young, smart centers in today's league. They need proper, meticulous coaching, and those coaches are also hard to find. 

The elite centers have them, though. Dwight Howard has Patrick Ewing and Andrew Bynum has Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Both are easily the two best centers in the NBA. 

Coincidence? I don't think so. 

Whoever Shaq benefits, that young center will have a damn good career. A guy like Greg Oden (who may be done, just as he was when he started) could largely benefit from Shaq's knowledge of the position. 

If Shaq's smart, he'll look into this and contribute even more to the game he's loved for 19 seasons. 

1. TNT's "Inside the NBA" Analyst

Shaq proposes to Shakira

Tell me this isn't the perfect job for Shaq. 

Charles Barkley is largely one of the most outspoken figures in sports today. Shaq, you can say, is No. 2. 

Both of them are hilarious and both can take a joke; they have unparalleled senses of humor and are totally cool with getting bagged on. Conversely, both are OK with being absolute jerks and seeing them together, nightly, for an entire NBA season is heaven.

If Shaq can learn to speak up and not mumble, this will be one of the most fun jobs not for him, but for his fans. I personally want this to happen terribly bad.

And if he can't learn to speak correctly and not mumble? That's fine, too. Just ask Charles Barkley.