NFL: Shannon Sharpe and the 5 Worst Television Personalities Today

As fans we have the same expectations for television analysts as we do for athletes: Be prepared, perform under pressure and entertain us. 

While painful TV personalities can detract from the coverage of any sport, NFL football in particular requires intelligent insight to fully understand and appreciate the intricacies of the game. 

With 22 players moving on every snap and a camera that only follows the ball, there’s a ton of information happening every play that even the most diehard fan can’t possibly pick up. 

That’s why watching a game with a truly insightful X’s and O’s analysts like Chris Colinsworth or seeing a QB expert like Jon Gruden break down a quarterback can completely change your perception and enjoyment of the sport. 

Unfortunately the NFL TV landscape is littered with incompetent and unlikable analysts, who don’t add and often detract from your football viewing experience. 

Here is my top 5 list of the league’s worst recent TV personalities.  

Brian Billick

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NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 18: Former head coach Brian Billick of the Baltimore Ravens attends the IRTS Gold Metal Award Gala September 18, 2008 at the Waldorf-Astoria in New York City. (Photo by Mike Stobe/Getty Images)

As a color commentator, Brian Billick exhibits the same strange mix of arrogance and ignorance that he displayed as an NFL coach.  

Unlike say Troy Aikman, whose poor announcing skills can be taken with a grain of salt because he’s a Hall of Fame quarterback, it’s unclear why we should give any weight to Billick’s assessments.

As the head coach in Baltimore, Billick was supposed to be an offensive mastermind, except his teams were awful on offense. That’s like being a breakfast chef who can’t make eggs.

As an announcer it’s as if Billick makes a point of doing all the things a good color commentator is supposed to avoid. He narrates replays, overuses platitudes and fails to point out things the viewers can’t see at home. 

To top it off he often comes off as under prepared and disinterested. 

Billick has neither the résumé nor the repertoire to be a quality analyst, which makes you wonder why FOX has held on to him. 

Shannon Sharpe

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NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 27: Pro Football Hall of Fame members Harry Carson and Shannon Sharpe discuss the NFL Draft at the Bud Light 'Best Round Ever' Pre-Draft Party on April 27, 2011 in New York City. Bud Light, the new official beer of the NFL, offered f

Shannon Sharpe may have some insightful analysis, but no one will ever know because you can’t understand him.

Sharpe’s phobia of proper intonation could be forgiven if he was just getting started in broadcasting, but he’s been a professional announcer now for six years and he appears to be getting worse with each passing season. 

It makes you wonder if his incoherence is just a shtick he’s playing up because he thinks it’s funny, or if he really talks that way in real life (which must make going to the drive-through an experience). 

Either way it’s not a good fit for someone who talks for a living. 

What makes things even worse is Sharpe tries to make up for his lack of linguistics by increasing the VOLUME OF HIS VOICE, which in turn makes Marino and crew dial up their decibels, until the entire CBS pregame show devolves into a cacophony of wild guffaws and screaming exaggerations. 

Sharpe does seem like a nice guy and his enthusiasm for football is infectious, but I prefer not to watch my pregame show with subtitles. 

Matt Millen

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DENVER - NOVEMBER 09: Matt Millen works on the set of the pregame show for ESPN's Monday Night Football as the Pittsburgh Steelers face the Denver Broncos during NFL action at Invesco Field at Mile High on November 9, 2009 in Denver, Colorado. The Steele

You just can’t take Matt Millen seriously after he turned the already pathetic Detroit Lions into a laughing stock during his tenure as General Manager.   

Maybe if Millen had laid low for a while, taught a couple linebacker clinics, narrated a few Super Bowl documentaries, and then returned to the spotlight it would have worked better. 

Instead, Millen went right back to the broadcast booth, like he wanted to commentate himself back into the good graces of the NFL populace. 

The result is an awkward bitterness and defensiveness to all of Millen’s performances, exemplified in his November freak-out at Steve Young regarding Brad Childress. 

You almost expect him to start justifying drafting Joey Harrington every time he appears on screen.

Maybe once Millen calms down and realizes every show isn’t a referendum on his entire football career things will get better, but for now he’s tough to watch.  

Tony Siragusa

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TAMPA, FL - SEPTEMBER 28: Running back Warrick Dunn #28 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers talks with FOX television commentator Tony Siragusa after play against the Green Bay Packers at Raymond James Stadium on September 28, 2008 in Tampa, Florida. (Photo by

At some point a bright Fox executive decided hiring attractive, well-spoken, female sideline reporters was played out, so they decided to do the exact opposite and bring in Tony Siragusa.

Historically unlikable as a player (his 2001 body slam of Rich Gannon was one of the cheapest plays in recent memory) and a few cheeseburgers short of four bills, Siragusa certainly has broken the mold of the traditional sideline reporter. 

Rather than roam the field in search of injury updates or actual information, Sarigusa prefers to park himself in an end zone and give updates on things like the weather, the fans and the stadium food. 

What makes things especially weird is that for some reason FOX gives Sarigusa an open mic, so rather than have Kenny Albert or Daryl Johnston toss to him for updates, Siragusa will randomly pop into the conversation with nonsensical information. 

It leaves the viewer with the impression that perhaps a drunken fan broke into the broadcast booth, until they cut to a shot of Siragusa in the end zone, wearing a Britney Spears mic that looks like it’s going to get lost in one of his chins. 

I’ve never been a huge proponent of the whole sideline reporter gimmick, but give me Pam Oliver over Siragusa any day. 

Joe Theisman

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MIAMI - DECEMBER 03: College Football Hall of Famer Joe Theisman leaves after funeral services for Sean Taylor of the Washington Redskins at Pharmed Arena on December 3, 2007 in Miami, Florida. Taylor died November 27, one day after being shot at his hom

Some athletes succeed not because they have one elite skill, but because they do a lot of things really well. 

Joe Theisman is the opposite of this. He’s like the bizarro Shane Battier; he isn’t awful at one particular part of announcing, rather it’s a pastiche of problems that puts him atop the list of the league’s worst TV personalities.

Theisman has a knack for talking too much, but not giving enough insight. He provides a wealth of platitudes but is short on actual information. 

At his best he doesn’t work well with his broadcast partners, at worst there’s a palpable tension in the booth. 

Having worked on Sunday, Monday and now Thursday Night Football, Theisman has proven he can be obstinate and awkward on any night of the week and with any combination of co-hosts. 

It all culminated in the recent Thursday night line-up of Bob Papa, Millen and Thesiman, which for my money is the worst announcing outfit in NFL history. 

The only blessing is that the Thursday night games were on during happy hour so you could watch them sans sound at the bar, or at least with the benefit of a few adult beverages.

Given the length and breadth of Theisman’s incompetence, we may need to grandfather him into these discussions and just start handing out a “Theisman” to the league’s worst TV personality.