The 20 Funniest Double-Entendres in Sports

Timothy Rapp@@TRappaRTFeatured ColumnistMay 18, 2011

The 20 Funniest Double-Entendres in Sports

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    ATLANTA - SEPTEMBER 20:  Tony Gonzalez #88 of the Atlanta Falcons pulls in a reception against the Carolina Panthers at Georgia Dome on September 20, 2009 in Atlanta, Georgia.  (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)
    Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

    It is no secret that sport carries with it its own culture, and thus its own unique jargon. Terms and sayings such as "slam dunk," "knock it out of the ballpark," and "touchdown" have infiltrated everyday language and come to mean more than what they represent on the field or court.

    But sometimes, that jargon is unintentionally hilarious when taken beyond the context of the game.

    Thus, along with the fine folks of B/R Swagger, I present to you The 20 Funniest Double-Entendres in Sports.

    You will laugh, you may cringe, but if nothing else, you will nod your head while remembering all of the times you thought, "That's what she said!" during a broadcast.

20. Ball-Handler

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    DALLAS, TX - MAY 08:  Guard Jason Kidd #2 of the Dallas Mavericks dribbles the ball past Kobe Bryant #24 of the Los Angeles Lakers in Game Four of the Western Conference Semifinals during the 2011 NBA Playoffs on May 8, 2011 at American Airlines Center in
    Ronald Martinez/Getty Images

    Generally a point guard in basketball (or simply the person dribbling the ball at the time), a ball-handler normally has possession of the basketball the majority of a possession and sets the play in motion.

    Also the title of someone who excels in the sport of pocket pool.

19. Hook Up

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    MIAMI GARDENS, FL - FEBRUARY 07:  Quarterback Peyton Manning #18 and wide receiver  Reggie Wayne #87 of the Indianapolis Colts warm up prior to Super Bowl XLIV against the New Orleans Saints on February 7, 2010 at Sun Life Stadium in Miami Gardens, Florid
    Doug Benc/Getty Images

    "Hook up" is a common term in sports, generally involving one player passing to another. For example:

    Peyton Manning "hooked up" with Reggie Wayne on the touchdown pass. Or Russell Westbrook "hooked up" with Kevin Durant on the alley-oop. Or Vincent Lecavalier "hooked up" with Martin St. Louis on the one-timer. The Situation "hooked up" with a grenade.

    Wait, scratch that last one. And scratch my eyeballs out while you're at it.

18. Stroke

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    "Because trust me—length isn't everything."

    His honesty is so brave.

Headline Gaffe: Alex Rodriguez

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    So that's why they call him A-Rod...

    Photo from Huffington Post

17. Take It to the Rack

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    CHICAGO, IL - MAY 15:  Taj Gibson #22 of the Chicago Bulls dunks against Dwyane Wade #3 of the Miami Heat in Game One of the Eastern Conference Finals during the 2011 NBA Playoffs on May 15, 2011 at the United Center in Chicago, Illinois. NOTE TO USER: Us
    Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

    According to Urban Dictionary, "taking it to the rack" is defined as follows:

    To drive with authority and finish violently right in the guy's grill. Can be used to describe any sport where a player drives toward a specific target ie. Basketball, Lacrosse, possibly Football.

     

16. Rounding the Bases

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    TORONTO, ON - APRIL 19:  Jose Bautista #19 (L) of the Toronto Blue Jays celebrates with coach Brian Butterfield #55 after Bautista's first inning home run during their game against the New York Yankees at Rogers Centre on April 19, 2011 in Toronto, Canada
    Scott Halleran/Getty Images

    This isn't a pure double entendre, as the notion of "rounding the bases" was taken from baseball and used to describe the type of intimate interaction between two lovers.

    Here, Jose Bautista is congratulated as he rounds third after hitting a home run.

15. He Could...Go...All...The...Way

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    LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 14:  ESPN personality Chris Berman speaks onstage during the 2010 ESPY Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on July 14, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.  (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
    Kevin Winter/Getty Images

    One of Chris Berman's favorite sayings, used when a player is in the midst of a long touchdown run.

    As in "Rounding the Bases," this saying applies to those moments when a player scores.

Sportscenter Gaffe: Sage Steele

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    As the old idiom goes, "even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while."

    Listen to Sage at the very end of this video for some unintended hilarity.

14. Rising to the Occasion

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    CHICAGO, IL - MAY 15:  Derrick Rose #1 of the Chicago Bulls attempts a shot against Mike Bibby #0, Joel Anthony #50 and Chris Bosh #1 of the Miami Heat in Game One of the Eastern Conference Finals during the 2011 NBA Playoffs on May 15, 2011 at the United
    Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

    One of the most popular cliches in sports, athletes are often said to either "rise to the occasion" or "come up short."

    You are either clutch or you choke. You can take the pressure or you're soft.

    The variations go on for days.

13. Breaststroke

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    To me, the most important part of this particular stroke is the motion where you hold your hands as though you are about to give someone something, like a plate.

    That's also the key to this video, if you ask me.

12. Tight End

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    PHILADELPHIA, PA - JANUARY 02:  Jason Witten #82 of the Dallas Cowboys celebrates his touchdown late in the fourth quarter against the Philadelphia Eagles with teammate Stephen McGee #7 on January 2, 2011 at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia, Pennsy
    Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

    I think this one goes without saying.

    Of course, tight end can be incorporated into some classic sentences:

    "He squeezed that pass into man coverage and hit a streaking tight end for the score."

    Yeah, I went there.

Headline Gaffe: Poor Dick Trickle

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    Why didn't you stick with Richard, dude?

    Picture from Huffington Post

11. Onions!

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    Thank you, Bill Raftery, by screaming this at will:

    ONIONS!!!

    One of the best catch phrases in sports today, hands down.

10. Illegal Use of Hands

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    This is only a double entendre if you know that Ben Roethlisberger repeats "Illegal Use of Hands" to himself every time he enters a bar.

    As a reminder to stay out of trouble, of course.

    Picture from NFL.com

9. Bang-Bang Play

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    One of the most famous bang-bang plays from the past 25 years.

    Perhaps it is called that because one team always feels as though they got screwed, much like Armando Galarraga on this play.

Baseball Announcer Gaffe: Gary "Sarge" Matthews

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    Gary Matthews has an almost intimate understanding in the fine art of hitting.

8. Penetration and Kick

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    Penetration is a common term in sports. Dribble penetration in basketball, gap penetration in football, etc.

    Penetration and Kick is an aggressive offense in basketball designed to suck in the defense, opening up the kick-out pass by the ball-handler.

7. Bump and Run

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    EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - SEPTEMBER 19:  Darrelle Revis #24 of the New York Jets defends against Randy Moss #81 of the New England Patriots during their  game on September 19, 2010 at the New Meadowlands Stadium  in East Rutherford, New Jersey.  (Photo by Al
    Al Bello/Getty Images

    Also known as press coverage, the "bump and run" technique used by cornerbacks in football is highlighted by the corner making contact with the receiver at the snap to reroute the receiver, then bailing off the line to either play zone or man coverage responsibilities.

    In everyday life, however, the "bump and run" technique is also known as the "hit it and quit it" move.

    Do not attempt the "bump and run" if you intend on calling the other party back, however.

6. Glove Save

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    PITTSBURGH, PA - APRIL 27:  Marc-Andre Fleury #29 of the Pittsburgh Penguins makes a glove save during a power play against the Tampa Bay Lightning in Game Seven of the Eastern Conference Quarterfinals during the 2011 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs at Consol En
    Justin K. Aller/Getty Images

    If you don't think this is a double entendre, just ask Antonio Cromartie about all of his kids.

5. Switch Hitter

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    Chipper Jones
    Chipper JonesJonathan Daniel/Getty Images

    A man (such as Chipper Jones) or woman who can bat from either side of the plate, if you know what I mean...

    And of course I mean that he can swing either left-handed or right-handed.

    If you know what I mean...

Headline Gaffe: It's Not the Size of the Boat...

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    Now that's what I call investigative journalism!

    Photo from Huffington Post

4. Going Deep

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    A common term for a wide receiver running a pattern down the field and a quarterback passing it to him, often in the hopes of scoring on a single play.

3. Splitting the Uprights

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    Traditionally, "splitting the uprights" means a field goal kickers sends the balls directly down the middle of the two uprights, completing either the extra point or field goal attempt.

    But Mayor Thomas Menino's "ionic" remarks seem to confuse the sports of baseball and football.

    Either that, or Jason Varitek really partied hard after the Red Sox won the World Series...

2. Backdoor Slider

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    A backdoor slider is when a right-handed pitcher throws a slider to the outside part of the plate against a left-handed batter, or vice-versa.

    The pitch is intended to look as though it will be outside of the strike zone, but catch the edge of the plate at the last moment before being caught by the catcher.

    It is also a pitch that Roger Clemens fears will be added to his repertoire if he is found guilty of perjury in June and given jail time.

    (Note: Basketball also has the backdoor cut, which is just annoying to defend.)

1. Hitting the Hole

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    Christian Okoye is a classic example of how a running back should hit the hole on a running play.

    When "The Nigerian Nightmare" hit the hole, defenders shook in their cleats.

    Be sure to hit me up on Twitter (@TRappaRT) along with the entire B/R Swagger team (@BR_Swagger)