NBA Playoffs 2011: Of Course, the Miami Heat Are Going to Win the Finals...And?!

So it's 2-0 Miami in the East Semis, and I'm blown away by how many people still think anybody has a chance to stop the lumbering Franken-beast that is the Heat. Are people really that naive?

There are those that will tell you that no matter who is the favorite, the games still have to be played, that other teams are hungry, that anything could happen. They'll tell you that chemistry and hard work count for something in the Playoffs. They might even whip out such antiquated axioms as "it takes a team to win championships."

Well, in forming this über-super-mega-monster trio, Bron, Wade and wife have effectively negated all that. Once you go beyond a certain point on the talent scale, it begins to override everything else. Suddenly, no amount of effort and/or grit, no amount of lucky bounces, no Cinderella story, is capable of offsetting what basically amounts to too much firepower.

The plan is (and has always been) painfully apparent: to stack the odds so high in their own favor that failure was all but impossible. One look at Chris Bosh's smile during the initial signing says it all: "We are gonna dance all over those other losers." 

Who needs chemistry and hard work when you can just overwhelm the entire league with raw talent? The rest of those suckers can "play fair" if they want to, but for Miami, the big plan is too important to let something as petty as "the other team" jeopardize it. After all, LeBron's resume isn't just going to pad itself.

There are those who point to the regular season as evidence that Miami is beatable. What these people fail to note, however, is that we have no proof they were trying all that hard. This team knows the only thing between them and the title is time, so they go through the regular season like a kid counting the days before Christmas.  

Dwyane Wade said it himself in March: "We can't wait for the Playoffs to start." Between the timing and the tone, that sounds like a guy who views the regular season as an annoying chore to be tolerated, a mere formality not worth his energy.

And I don't need to remind you that a certain somebody is already known for taking a night off here and there when the mood strikes.

Early November aside, these occasional lulls that had so many people believing this monster could bleed (i.e. could be killed) may very well just have been mail-ins brought on by boredom, or a sort of "are we there yet?" attitude. Most teams have no choice but to bust their butts all season long, lest they lose leverage or fall out of contention entirely. There is no such threat in Miami.

Now that the Playoffs have begun, this beast of a "team" is in no-nonsense mode all the way, and that's a scary thought. My belief is we hadn't seen the real Miami Heat until now. That team that lost 25 games? Basically sleep-walking through the opposition, filing their nails. Heck, I wouldn't be shocked to discover they tanked a few games simply to keep up the illusion of vulnerability.*

Those late-game shooting woes? Fool's gold. People forget what they know: that these guys are simply much better than that, and they're due to nail a couple of those shots. Just in time for them to actually matter.

Plus, now that it's Playoff time, and LeBron has a direct incentive to give it his all (i.e. his immediate glorification), don't expect to see too many more kinks in the armor.

Many people are "predicting" that the Heat will win it all, as if any real mental effort is required to come to such a conclusion. As bold predictions go, that's about as risky as taking the swatter over the fly. These same people, along with countless others, will collectively say "told you so", and I'll be the first one yawning.

So prepare to watch the most uninspiring, predictable, anticlimactic championship run you've ever seen (unless you're either from Miami, or have no self-respect, in which case you'll love every minute of it). I personally have better ways to waste my time than watching a foregone conclusion play itself out.

Just try and act surprised when it's all said and done. Better yet, try and act impressed. I know I won't be able to. I've said it before: there is absolutely nothing impressive about winning in a can't-lose situation.

* okay, maybe that's a bit much...

P.S. congratulations to Flo-Rida for having the half a brain needed to come up with "We Already Won."