Fantasy Football: What to Do in Case of a 2011 NFL Season Lockout

For over a year, it has been lurking around the corner. Over the last few months, we have seen argument after argument between the Players Association and the NFL. A lockout is in place, and there is no certainty of a 2011 NFL season.

And here we are, sitting on the sideline, holding our breaths, the fantasy footballers. What will become of us, 30 million strong. 30 million dedicated NFL fans who tune in every week. 30 million victims who know everything there is to know about all 32 teams.

What are our options if there is no 2011 NFL season? What will we do without fantasy football for an entire year? I know I can't take it. So I have devised this list. A list I hope we will never have to use. A list that will barely quench our fantasy football thirst, but will hopefully be enough to tide us over to 2012.

Plan A: The Obvious: Fantasy Baseball, Basketball, Hockey

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BOSTON, MA - APRIL 9: Alex Rodriguez #13 of the New York Yankees hits a double against the Boston Red Sox in the first inning at Fenway Park April 9, 2011 in Boston, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Getty Images)

The fantasy NFL season routinely runs from the second week of September to the first week of January. So by playing fantasy baseball (last regular season game on Sept 28th), basketball (begins the last week of October), and hockey (begins second week of October) we manage to cover all the ground left by the holdout.

Pros

With about 80 percent of all fantasy sports players opting for football, it would be a refreshing change of pace and strategy to see a few million new faces in these sports.

The leagues and systems are already in place on fantasy sites, so no extra work is necessary.

By performing well, you can boost your resume to audition for the soon-to-be vacant professional positions left by GMs who thought signing Jason Werth or Rashard Lewis for $100 million was a brilliant idea.

Cons

Virgins to the head-to-head style or Roto-play would see a few bumps and frustrations, and those who solely focus on the NFL won't know much about the teams or players. While hardcore fantasy footballers don't know much about the sports of players will have to rely purely on statistics and advice columns for information.

Loss of competitive edge and excitement if you don't truly care about the sport you are playing.

Does anyone really want to sit through an entire regular season baseball or basketball game? Or even worse, suffer through Barry Melrose's damn accent and heinous suits? Thanks, but no thanks.

Plan B: Going Beyond Pick'em: Translating NFL Fantasy to the NCAA

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GLENDALE, AZ - JANUARY 10: The Auburn Tigers huddle against the Oregon Ducks during the Tostitos BCS National Championship Game at University of Phoenix Stadium on January 10, 2011 in Glendale, Arizona. (Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images)

Since EA Sports can't use the names of players, a little retooling of the fantasy football form we all know and love will have to occur. But it has been done. There are small circles that exist where this game is taking place.

Rather than drafting players at each position, the owner will draft entire positions from the BCS teams. For example, rather than drafting Adrian Peterson with your first pick, you would draft the Oregon running back squad.

Pros

Easy transition as the scoring format would stay the same. Owners don't have to switch sports.

College is far more stat-heavy than the NFL, so there will be more interest each week, upholding the competitiveness of fantasy football.

Fantasy commissioners, in true college football tradition, can create their own senseless BCS scoring style to ensure that you have more points than your opponent each week. Possible statistics for this category include family history, high school GPA, current salary, popularity or other intangibles to give you the edge.

Cons

Though the system is already set up, it is hardly mainstream, so unless ESPN or another fixture adopt the system, there will be a lot of math involved for owners.

With so many teams to choose from, and the lack of parity in college football, drafting will take intense strategy and there is a chance for fantasy teams to be unevenly matched.

Possible forfeiture of your league title in three-five years when NCAA officials announce that your star's stats will be stripped after being claimed ineligible all year, a la Reggie Bush, Cam Newton.

Plan C: Across the Pond: Adopt the Other Fantasy Football

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MANCHESTER, ENGLAND - APRIL 12: Ji-Sung Park of Manchester United celebrates scoring his team's second goal with team mates Wayne Rooney (R) and Javier Hernandez (L) during the UEFA Champions League Quarter Final second leg match between Manchester Unite

The Premiere League offers solace for the neglected fantasy American football owner. I won't even begin to pretend that I know anything about the sport or the fantasy format, but I can't imagine that it is a far cry from the fantasy football layout we all know and love.

Also, America could use a little reintroduction to soccer. Maybe it will act as a good bit of PR that we desperately need. Especially after losing a World Cup bid to Qatar, a country that many of us thought was actually some kind of kitchen utensil or Japanese weapon. Perhaps following the Premiere League for a season wouldn't hurt.

Pros

Everyone starts out on a pretty even playing field, having to get used to the system, scoring, and players. Since it is already popular overseas, fantasy Premier League is already laid out.

The league starts in August and will completely eclipse the NFL season.

You can own an entire team of players with worse hair than Tom Brady, something that has been considered impossible in the standard NFL format.

Cons

Games are never televised on major American networks, so interest will likely be lost throughout the season if you can't watch your players.

Almost guaranteed that a high percentage of owners at the beginning of the year will abandon their team throughout the year, making the game less competitive.

Soccer is not football. Americans simply aren't very big fans, and what possible stats could there be than goals, assists and saves?

Plan D: Keep Is Social: Small Group Fantasy Alternatives

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ABU DHABI, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES - JANUARY 23: Ian Poulter of England sends a message on Twitter on the practice ground during the final round of the 2011 Abu Dhabi HSBC Golf Championship at the Abu Dhabi Golf Club on January 23, 2011 in Abu Dhabi, United

Colleges have Facebook, businesspeople have the office, we all have Twitter. So why not find a way to imagine these things into a competition? Social fantasy would be a very personalized specific form of the game. One can choose to play a pick'em style format or go more in depth as a head-to-head game with playoff system.

Categories on Facebook could consist of status updates, word usage, pictures, and comments. Office Fantasy could examine the efficiency of workers by using departments as positions, or turning common work tasks into statistics.

Pros

Though it takes some thought and planning, this allows for endless possibilities and creativity.

You update your fantasy team at work anyways, so why not make it a game?

Annoying no-lifes who sit on Facebook updating their status hourly to inform others of their meals, their bodily functions resulting from said meals, those goddamn twitpics and how their more-adorable-than-yours child did the funniest thing today will jump to overnight superstars in fantasy Facebook. You can re-add them to your block list once the NFL starts again.

Cons

Productivity likely suffers, unless it is a very competitive office environment.

No layout or ground rules already established, so being lazy is not an option.

Not exactly a pound-for-pound alternative to football.

You have to suffer through hourly status updates informing you about their meals, their bodily functions resulting from said meals, those goddamn twitpics and how their more-adorable-than-yours child did the funniest thing today.

Plan E: To the Playground: Kicking It Old School with Some Peewee Football

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SAN DIEGO - November 9: Runningback Armani Aburto #35 of the Carlsbad Mighty Lancers (8 & under) runs with the ball as he facemasks #20 Jarryn Thompson of the Torrey Pines Falcons during the Pop Warner Division Finals on November 9, 2002 at Carlsbad Hig

The teams are everywhere, and essentially laid out into divisions. It would just take some vast organization and a hell of a lot of research to make this possible. Just contact members from surrounding teams, and have everyone attend games and keep stats. Crunch the numbers on Sunday, and you're good to go.

The rules are the same as standard fantasy football, except little Dylan Keller from your daughter’s fourth grade reading class is replacing Drew Brees at your QB position. Ethically, this is probably a bit of a gray area, so maybe leave the gambling aspect out of it, but it's a refreshing change of pace from your normal Sunday routine.

Pros

You can feel good about yourself for supporting local sports programs and children's organizations.

The season is a little shorter, but runs mostly parallel to the NFL season.

With a number of age ranges to choose from, you can own multiple teams, or combine all of them if your league has 12 or more players.

Fans always complain that NFLers don't play for the love of the game, or say that they are all about the money. Welcome to football in its purest form.

Cons

Can't expect the same stat lines as you would in the pros, so categories might have to be altered slightly. Rather than passing yards, you can include "grass eaten", "%PWPFCD, (percentage of plays will all players facing correct direction)", "non-fumbled snaps", and bonus points to any player who can put on their own helmet.

Suspicions will likely be raised if you aren't a father of one of the kids playing.

Eight-year-olds playing football is borderline unwatchable.