Michael Jordan: Style Icon To Fashion Faux Pas
I recently stumbled upon a Tumblr feed that I can't get enough of. Basically, it's just a bunch of pictures of Michael Jordan dressed like a crazy person, because really, only MJ can do some things and not get called out on them.
If you want to take a look at it yourself, have a go here, it provides for a good amount of fun at the expense of one of the best athletes to pass by since the creation of sports.
Now, in no way do I consider myself some kind of fashionista, in fact, I find a lot of what is supposedly stylish these days to look a bit ridiculous.
However, I can spot a train wreck of an outfit just like anybody else in this world, and Jordan is just a few feet from derailing with some of the things he is caught in.
In some ways I like it because it shows that he is his own man, and he doesn't have other people dressing him and doesn't rely on a stylist like many NBA players do today.
However, he is the greatest basketball player of all time, shouldn't he have some kind of fashionable moments out there?
There is one thing I can say about Jordan in all of these pictures, however. No matter how silly the outfit is that MJ is wearing, he always seems to come across as cool himself.
Honestly, there are very few people throughout the world that could pull that off, and kudos to Jordan for being one of those dudes.
10. This Jacket Makes Me Laugh Like That
One thing you will see with Jordan is that he likes to throw on a jacket over whatever old thing he is wearing.
T-shirt and jeans? Class that up with a jacket. Turtleneck tucked into some jeans? Jacket.
This jacket isn't one of his worst, but it still looks like it was made out of straw, plus with the green underneath he kind of looks like the colors in money.
The thing is, it just seems like he grabs whatever jacket is closest to him and walks out his door, and I absolutely love it.
He honestly looks like he doesn't care, and that's a good thing; he is Michael "freaking" Jordan, he should just be happy with that fact.
9. The Baggier the Better
Look at these pants. Have you ever seen anyone wearing baggier pants on any golf course anywhere.
I have been to some questionable courses in my day, and I have seen some guys in everything from cut-off jorts (jean shorts in case you were unsure) and a tank top to a white tee shirt and some holey jeans but never have I ever witnessed pants this baggy.
Not only are these things extra roomy so MJ can get in a nice groove with his swing, but they are extra long, which I can't see being helpful at all while playing golf.
The pants may be crazy, but his bag is pretty cool.
8. Were You Painting?
This is my absolute least favorite thing that people do. Once they hit a certain age, they decide they need to start dressing like young people again.
It's fine to hold onto your youth, but once you start wearing their clothes, you start to look like the crazy old guy clinging to his past.
What's worse, I have never understood the point of having different colored splotches all over your jeans. Is it cool to look like you were just off in some other room painting the walls?
I don't know, maybe MJ is just more in touch with the young people in this country than I am, and he's 27 years older than me.
7. Tuck It In!
I'm a central Ohio man, so naturally I am an Ohio State fan, which means I don't have too much beef with a dude sporting a sweatervest.
However, it always seemed to me that the shirt portion of the outfit was supposed to end at the bottom of the sweatervest, and anything extending below that would just look sloppy and ridiculous.
That's what Jordan looks like here. It seems like he's trying to make himself seem dressed up, yet relaxed, but he just looks like he just saw Stephen Jackson turn the ball over at a crucial point in a game and just yanked his shirt out of his pants.
6. Ripped Jeans? Are You 17?
Once again, we have another case of Jordan trying to dress like the young dudes.
And once again, it is another fashion trend that I just don't understand at all. Why buy pre-ripped jeans? Isn't the point of jeans to keep you warm?
It may be cool to some people to wear the jeans with holes already in them, but it's almost never cool to see an older fellow like Jordan sport some stylishly holey denim.
5. Does MJ Really Need a Lift?
This is the one that really confused me. Michael Jordan is 6'6" and could jump over your house in his prime, so does he really need to be sporting some heels?
Usually the only guys you see with any kind of heel on their shoes are cowboys (and I don't remember anything about MJ growing up on a ranch) and short guys with a bit of a complex.
Leave the heels at home Jordan, you already tower over all of us normal people anyway.
Besides that, MJ has a strange looking corduroy blazer to go along with his jeans, which look a bit sweatpantsy.
4. Blue Man Group
We all know that Jordan is a North Carolina man at heart, and he likes to show them some love every chance he gets, but this is borderline ridiculous.
Jordan is decked out from head to toe in the brightest baby blue known to mankind, and it makes him stick out like a sore thumb.
Aside from that, he seems to be a bit upset in the photo, and I would think if you are going to walk around in baby blue, people would expect you to be upbeat and happy.
3. The T-Shirt Tuck
After all of MJ's hard work to look like a young dude with the ripped and paint splotched jeans in the previous pictures, he goes and tucks his t-shirt in to his shorts.
If there is one thing that will automatically make you look like an old man, it is this.
You may be able to get away with it if you are tucking it into some pants, but shorts, that's something you can't miss.
2. The 90s Exploded
There's no way MJ would ever walk around in anything like this today, but back in 1991, this wasn't uncommon at all.
This shirt just looks like the early 90s came up to MJ and just exploded all over his nice white button-up, and this is what it ended up looking like.
Seriously, this isn't a knock on MJ at all but rather a knock on the whole world between 1988 and 1994. What was happening back then that made this an okay thing to wear?
Nonetheless, there is no denying that this is a piece of hideousness that is hard to top.
1. The Mustache
This is honestly the most unbelievable thing to come with this decade, and I don't think it can be topped.
For nearly a century, people have been basically banned from wearing a mustache that was deemed the "Hitler 'Stache" for obvious reasons.
So what happens, of course the most famous basketball player in the history of the world sports it during a Hanes commercial.
It took me two or three times through the commercial to really believe what was going on. What I thought I was seeing couldn't really be what I was seeing...could it?
Sure enough, however, there sat Michael Jordan, sporting a Hitler 'Stache, and from there, the world would never be the same.
Everyone seemed to ignore it, but they all saw it, they had to. One of the only people that ever did call MJ out for the bit on his upper lip was Charles Barkley.
Can you imagine how stressed out the people at Hanes were when he walked onto the set with that mustache. It was obviously terrifying to them, but they never could have asked him to shave it, he's Michael "freaking" Jordan, and he is the only man that could ever get away with it.