NHL Playoff Beards: Grow One for the Team

This week the NHL will drop the puck on its annual run for the Stanley Cup. For fans, this means three things: heart-stopping action, nail-biting tension and, of course, like the swallows to Capistrano, the return of the playoff beard.

In just a matter of weeks, teams of clean-shaven hockey players will start to resemble a convention of Grizzly Adams fans or, even more frightening, Amy Winehouse on a Saturday morning.

Even Lord Stanley himself, for whom this prized trophy is named, sported a full crop of facial hair. But you have to admit, it works for him. Not many guys can pull off that whole ZZ Top look.

So why do NHL players do it? Obviously this postseason facial hair holds some kind of winning power.

If so, then why stop at the players? Management should take this beard-growing ritual to the next level and apply it to all aspects of the club.

Team Goalie

To increase the beard impact on the club, have the goalie grow one on the outside of his mask.

Arena Organist

Imagine the increased motivational power a bearded organist would give to the team and its fans.

Zamboni

Have the Zamboni specially fitted with implants. That way, the power of the beard is with the team even when it is not on the ice.

Ice Girl

Have arena staff remove all Lady Bic shavers from Ice Girls locker room.

Stanley Cup

After winning the Stanley Cup, what better way to pay homage to the power of the beard than to have one on hockey’s most prized possession?