Carmelo Anthony Trade: 10 Reasons To Be Thankful for an End to the 'Melo Drama
Carmelo Anthony Trade: The ongoing saga that is Carmelo Anthony in now settled. One of the sport's best was finally traded from the Denver Nuggets to the New York Knicks.
This concludes one sports drama. I am sure another will soon takes its place. For now, let us rejoice in its finality. There is so much to be thankful for that I have compiled a list of reason we should all be throwing a party that this ordeal is done with.
As Melo makes his move from one coast to the other, I pay my respects to the good lord of basketball sanity for ending the misery that has been the last several months. Please Carmelo, don't ever ask to be traded again.
10. Sources Can Shut The Hell Up Now
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Can someone tell all of these sources that they are privy to classified information. I sure hope I never have to entrust an NBA insider with some deep dark secret, because 10 minutes later, Chris Broussard is spilling the beans.
For the past few months we have heard the term "sources say" roughly 12,576 times. It could easily be more, but I nearly shot myself in the face after we hit that number and lost count.
I think from now on, NBA analysts should be forced to say, "I have a little secret," and then wink at the camera. At least then I can giggle off the frustration.
9. Another Dynamic Duo
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Who am I to buck the latest trends? When friendship bracelets were en vogue I had 10. When MC Hammer wore his baggy pants, I begged my mom to buy me a pair.
So I am all for the new trend of making a super team. In fact, I think it is super great. The NBA has livened up the sport by collecting all the best talent in the NBA and separating it out to several teams. The only thing to do now is kill roughly half of the remaining teams.
I no longer have to see Chris Anderson run up and down the floor with his latest eyebrow tattoo. Let's go the extra mile and make this a five-team league. If we do, I will bring back the Hammer pants.
8. Denver Can Move On
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The Denver area was held hostage for the past few months. If we think the rest of the nation was inundated by the Carmelo love fest, imagine living in the Mile High city.
Head coach George Karl recently expressed that he was just happy the whole ordeal is over. That is the overriding emotion throughout the city.
They knew Carmelo was a goner. They had more than half a season to make their peace with the matter. Now it is about finally getting some team cohesion. The past few months have been a nightmare scenario for the Nuggets; now they can finally move on.
7. Manhattan Matters Again
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The NBA needs New York to matter. It is a far better league when the Knicks are a formidable squad. You can't have mecca of basketball stink up the joint nightly.
Now we can move on from the dark days of Stephon Marbury's ego filling up Madison Square Garden. We can even let go of the Eddy Curry buffet experiment. No longer will millions go hungry in the greater New York area.
I would hide your fast food, Minnesota. Curry is like a bear in the woods. He can sniff out a Chalupa from a mile away.
6. No More Rumors
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I am all game for rumors. I can be quite the gossip hag when I want to be. But the Carmelo Anthony situation was getting out of control.
First he was going to New Jersey. Then it was New York, then back to Jersey. In between, Melo was rumored to be off to Los Angeles, Chicago and Dallas. At one point even the Clippers were mentioned.
Exhausted, I flipped off the TV and Twitter feed and slept until the whole mess was sorted out. At least, I wish I had done so. Maybe then I wouldn't have bags under my eyes and coffee stains on my Saved by the Bell tank top.
5. ESPN Coverage Can Resume
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Now that the Melo drama is over and done with, we can finally go back to watching NFL offseason, Lakers, Yankees and women's basketball highlights on the four letter.
If you turned on SportsCenter in the past few months, you would have thought a new sitcom starring Carmelo Anthony had been produced. Carmelo not only took over the interest of Denver and New York, he preempted the lacrosse championships about a dozen of you care about.
Now we can finally go back to talking NFL football in February, just like we should be.
4. Isiah Thomas Will Return, I Hope
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The Carmelo Anthony drama may be over, but things are about to heat up on Broadway. The way that things went down opens the door for Isiah Thomas to come bumbling back into the picture.
It seems he had a hand in helping owner James Dolan procure Carmelo Anthony. The chance for Thomas to take back the reins in New York is closer than you think.
There is nothing better than watching a team relive their past atrocities. The first time around we could not savor the comedic genius that was Isiah Thomas in the front office. Now we can sit back and chomp on some popcorn as he re-signs Eddy Curry.
3. LaLa Gets Her Man
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There is nothing sadder than a beautiful bride without her man by her side. Well, there are plenty of sadder things if I really thought about it. Watching Kwame Brown try to catch a ball comes to mind.
But now that this mess is over, LaLa Vasquez and her husband Carmelo Anthony can reunite in wedded bliss. This is just like World War 2 vets coming home to their loved ones. You know, minus the gravity and seriousness of the situation.
2. I Can Get Some Sleep
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Thank you for putting an end to it all, Carmelo. We have all been on Carmelo watch for far too long. It is now time to get some much needed shut eye.
The edge of my seat is all but worn out. Ii have filed through boxes of Five Hour Energy and 15 pots of coffee, and that was just last night. I would thank you to stay in one place for the duration of your career. I don't think I can handle another Melo bender.
1. Now on to Things That Matter
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Now that the crisis in Denver has been settled, we can move on to things that matter. As you know I am not talking about an energy crisis, the ongoing war in Afghanistan, the surging unemployment rate or even the Taco Bell down the street from me closing down.
I am talking about all of the sports stories that took a back seat to the Melo-drama. Now we can hunker down and talk about Tiger and his inability to golf. We can finally get back to LeBron and his pursuit of being the most unlikable athlete of all time.
We have gotten away from such interesting human experience pieces such as Sasha Vujacic, and other dudes that should not be having success with the ladies.
You see, losing the Carmelo Anthony drama opens up a whole new world of exciting sports tales. Let's put this whole ordeal behind us and say hello to a brand new day.
