Venus Williams and the Top 10 Athletes Who Need to Cover Up

Venus Williams retired just one game into her third-round match against Andrea Petkovic at the Australian Open on Friday.

But if it were up to me, that's not the only thing she should retire.

Williams has made a habit of taking her clothes off for the camera, and I just am not a big fan of seeing her in anything other than a tennis skirt.

Not that she's a bad-looking woman, it's just that some people need to know their limits.

Like these 10 athletes you're about to see.

10. Venus Williams, Tennis

Not taking anything away from what Venus Williams does on the tennis court, but there's a fine line between being an athlete and being a model.

And sometimes it seems like the sports world loves to blur that line.

Just because you can serve an ace or you have a mean backhand, it doesn't mean you're the next Selita Ebanks. 

No matter how bad that Sports Illustrated photographer wants you to believe it. 

Women Are From Venus

A night out with Venus Williams or an evening by yourself watching reruns of Cash Cab?

Tougher question than you thought it would be, huh?

9. Kyle Orton, NFL

It's my understanding that quarterbacks don't hit the weight room quite like the rest of the guys on the team.

But come on, Kyle! This is a little ridiculous.

Maybe you should stop chugging those beers and start working on reading defenses.

Lightweight

If Kyle Orton had anything less than 12-pack or a fifth, this is pretty much unacceptable.

Nah, but it really wouldn't kill the dude to hit lift a dumbbell every once in a while.

And no, 12-ounce curls don't count. 

8. Diana Taurasi, WNBA

After photos of Diana Taurasi from the ESPN The Magazine's Body Issue were released, I read several articles debating whether or not Taurasi was hot.

What? Really?

I get that the issue of the magazine is meant to celebrate the human body or whatever, but I seriously doubt any guy's saying, "Damn, she's a dime piece."

Go out to your local bar tonight, and you'd find 40 women who are hotter than Taurasi. 

Crossover

In a game of one-on-one, Diana Taurasi admittedly has got me beat.

But this is where I go when I want to see a hot basketball player.

7. James Toney, Boxing

Here's a little perspective for you.

In 1991, James Toney won his first major boxing title while fighting at 160 lbs.

After moving all the way up to heavyweight, Toney did most of his boxing in that weight class weighing somewhere between 219 lbs and 257 lbs.

Take a guess when that picture was taken. 

Tone It Up, Toney!

This is what James Toney looked like while training for an MMA fight.

Imagine what would happen if he decided to become a coach potato.

6. Cristiane "Cyborg" Santos, MMA

There's a reason people call Cristian Santos "Cyborg."

And I'm not talking about her abilities inside the octagon.

Seriously, look at the guy on the left, then look at her on the right.

Santos is more jacked than her own boyfriend pretty much across the board.

Some might say that's hot, but I say it's quite scary. 

Cyborg

Like most men, I prefer my women to be fit and toned.

But when muscles mask sexiness, and she can knock me out with one right hook, I think I'll pass.

5. John Daly, PGA

There's no doubt in mind that I would love to party with John Daly.

Why? See the picture above and Daly teeing off a beer can at a pro-am tournament.

Still, I'd be a little hesitant to hit the water park with him.

Because even after losing all that weight, Daly isn't exactly sculpted like a Greek god or anything. 

Beer Gut

I love this guy.

He just doesn't seem to care about anything other than swinging golf clubs.

And drinking beer, of course.

4. Serena Williams, Tennis

How much is too much?

That's the question you have to ask yourself when doing a thorough analysis of Serena Williams' posterior.

I mean, I'm an ass man if I've ever see one, but even I have my limits.

Bootylicious?

Come on, guys. 

Do you really find that attractive?

3. Roy "Big Country" Nelson, UFC

Three things are certain about UFC fighter Roy "Big Country" Nelson.

One, he never misses a meal.

Two, he can kick my ass.

And three, he needs to put his shirt back on...immediately. 

Embrace the Belly

Roy Nelson's breakfast: Six pancakes, eight strips of bacon, four sausage links, 10 scrambled eggs, eight pieces of toast.

Just messing.

Despite his appearance, Nelson's actually probably more fit than most people who are half his size. 

2. Terrence "Mount" Cody, NFL

Guess why former Alabama defensive tackle Terrence Cody slipped to the second round of the 2010 NFL Draft?

Yep, his weight.

At the NFL combine, Cody showed up weighing a staggering 354 lbs.

Way to show those scouts your work ethic, Terrence!

Mountain Main

Terrence Cody may not be able to rock a Speedo.

But who cares?

The dude sure knows how to play football. 

1. Big Daddy V, Wrestling

This man is best known under the ring names Mabel, King Mabel and Viscera.

But never was he rougher on the eyeballs than when he debuted on ECW in 2007 in a repackaged gimmick known as "Big Daddy V."

Seriously, WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT?

He looks a giant stack of tires.

????

Big Daddy V?

I think he we need a whole new word to describe him—something like ginormous, maybe.

Wow. Just wow.