Super Bowl Predictions: The 10 Funniest Commercial Ideas

Matt RudnitskyCorrespondent IJanuary 21, 2011

Super Bowl Predictions: The 10 Funniest Commercial Ideas

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    NEW YORK - APRIL 20:  (EDITORS NOTE: IMAGES HAVE BEEN DIGITALLY MANIPULATED) Bart Scott of the New York Jets poses for a portrait on April 20, 2009 in New York, New York.  (Photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images)
    Chris McGrath/Getty Images

    Yes, sports fans will watch Super Bowl XLV, no matter which of the New York Jets, Pittsburgh Steelers, Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers will be the ones playing at Cowboys Stadium.

    But for sports fans and non-sports fans alike, Super Bowl commercials will be one of the main things cared about, probably even more so than how many touchdowns Mark Sanchez or Ben Roethlisberger throw.

    With that in mind, here are 10 funny Super Bowl commercial ideas that likely won't happen, but would be fantastic.

10. Brett Favre For T-Mobile

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    DETROIT, MI - JANUARY 02:  Brett Favre #4 of the Minnesota Vikings heads to a post game press conference after a 13-20 loss to the Detroit Lions at Ford Field on January 2, 2011 in Detroit, Michigan.  (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)
    Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

    T-Mobile is way behind Verizon and AT&T in the cell phone market, mostly due to its lackluster service.

    Picture this:

    Favre (on the Jets) sending a picture message of his you-know-what, it not getting there because of T-Mobile's crappy service, and then switching to him as a retired man, reflecting on the situation and thanking T-Mobile for saving his image.

    Buy T-Mobile, all you athletes, and know your dirty pictures won't be discovered!

9. Tiger Woods For FLDS

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    THOUSAND OAKS, CA - DECEMBER 05:  Tiger Woods hits his tee shot on the 12th hole during the final round of the Chevron World Challenge at Sherwood Country Club on December 5, 2010 in Thousand Oaks, California.  (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)
    Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

    Members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS) practice polygamy.

    What would be a better commercial for them than Tiger Woods and his mistresses talking to the country on how peachy everything would be if they (and Elin) could all be married?

8. Plaxico Burress Leads an Anti-Drug Campaign

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    LEBANON - JANUARY 14: New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress arrives at the Lebanon County Courthouse January 14, 2009 in Lebanon, Pa.  Burress is scheduled to appear in a civil trial in a dispute with an automobile dealer over what he owes in dama
    Chris Gardner/Getty Images

    Plaxico Burress would be the perfect guy for one those anti-drug commercials.

    All he has to do is say a couple of lines.

    "Drugs are bad, kids, you shouldn't do them."

    The screen shows footage of Plaxico shooting himself in the foot...

    The camera pans to Plaxico in jail...

    "Like I said, don't do drugs.  You'll be shooting yourself in the foot.  And you'll end up in jail." 

7. Rex Ryan For Nike Socks

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    FOXBORO, MA - JANUARY 16:  New England Patriots fans hold up signs picturing head coach Rex Ryan of the New York Jets and a foot prior to their 2011 AFC divisional playoff game at Gillette Stadium on January 16, 2011 in Foxboro, Massachusetts.  (Photo by
    Al Bello/Getty Images

    "Heck, I don't wear 'em, and I sure don't let my wife wear 'em, but if I ever did want to cover her feet, I'd tell her to wear Nike socks!  They're the best!"

6. LeBron Helps People With Low Self-Esteem

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    MIAMI, FL - JANUARY 18:  LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat looks on during a game against the Atlanta Hawks at American Airlines Arena on January 18, 2011 in Miami, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or
    Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

    Low self-esteem can be a huge problem for Americans, especially youth.

    Simply play a clip of "The Decision," then put LeBron on screen and have him say, "Don't get down on yourself.  No matter how you feel, even you can say your more liked than me."

5. Gilbert Arenas For The Verizon Center

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    LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 07:  Gilbert Arenas #9 of the Washington Wizards passes the ball between Derrick Caracter #45 and Steve Blake #5 of the Los Angeles Lakers in the second half at Staples Center on December 7, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. The
    Jeff Gross/Getty Images

    "The Verizon Center is just a great place to check out a game.  I really felt at home there."

    "I mean, I even kept my gun there!  What's more homey than that? Bring the kids!"

4. Bart Scott For McDonalds

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    EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - DECEMBER 12:  Bart Scott #57 of the New York Jets reacts the Miami Dolphins at New Meadowlands Stadium on December 12, 2010 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.  (Photo by Nick Laham/Getty Images)
    Nick Laham/Getty Images

    "Can't wait?"  (playing his interview with ESPN's Sal Paolantonio)

    "Don't sit down at Applebee's or one of them places that make you wait forever.  Go to McDonalds and get some fast food.  You won't wait for your food here."

3. Bill Belichick For Miller Lite

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    ORCHARD PARK, NY - DECEMBER 26:  Head coach Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots looks on in a match against the Buffalo Bills  at Ralph Wilson Stadium on December 26, 2010 in Orchard Park, New York. New England won 34-3.  (Photo by Rick Stewart/Get
    Rick Stewart/Getty Images

    He wears ugly sleeveless hoodies, he runs up the score, he doesn't have any fun.

    He gets out-smack-talked, outplayed and benches his players who try to have fun.

    He doesn't drink beer often, but when he does, he makes sure it isn't Dos Equis.  He drinks Miller Lite.

    You should too.

    He is...the least interesting man in the world.

2. Blake Griffin For Dunkin Donuts

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    LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 12:  Blake Griffin #32 of the Los Angeles Clippers scores a reverse layup in front of Joel Anthony #50 of the Miami Heat during the first half at the Staples Center on January 12, 2011 in Los Angeles, California.  NOTE TO USER: U
    Harry How/Getty Images

    What could be better than a compilation of Blake Griffin dunk highlights, only with a giant donut superimposed onto the basketball.

    It could even end with him sitting calmly and slamming home his donut into his coffee.

    Genius.

1. LeBron Promotes The Verizon iPhone

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    MIAMI, FL - JANUARY 18:  LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat is guarded by Al Horford #15 of the Atlanta Hawks during a game at American Airlines Arena on January 18, 2011 in Miami, Florida. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by down
    Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images

    The commercial features LeBron's head and legs on a giant iPhone.

    "I used to be the best phone on the crappy network I started with, but now I'm the best phone on the best network!  With other good phones!  Buy me now!"

    "Traitor, shmaitor.  When the going gets rough, take the easy way out.  Verizon iPhone.  The greatest joins the greatest."

    Matt Rudnitsky is a student at the University of Michigan and a Featured Columnist/writing intern at Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/Mattrud.

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