Super Bowl Predictions: The 10 Funniest Commercial Ideas
Yes, sports fans will watch Super Bowl XLV, no matter which of the New York Jets, Pittsburgh Steelers, Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers will be the ones playing at Cowboys Stadium.
But for sports fans and non-sports fans alike, Super Bowl commercials will be one of the main things cared about, probably even more so than how many touchdowns Mark Sanchez or Ben Roethlisberger throw.
With that in mind, here are 10 funny Super Bowl commercial ideas that likely won't happen, but would be fantastic.
10. Brett Favre For T-Mobile
T-Mobile is way behind Verizon and AT&T in the cell phone market, mostly due to its lackluster service.
Favre (on the Jets) sending a picture message of his you-know-what, it not getting there because of T-Mobile's crappy service, and then switching to him as a retired man, reflecting on the situation and thanking T-Mobile for saving his image.
Buy T-Mobile, all you athletes, and know your dirty pictures won't be discovered!
9. Tiger Woods For FLDS
Members of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS) practice polygamy.
What would be a better commercial for them than Tiger Woods and his mistresses talking to the country on how peachy everything would be if they (and Elin) could all be married?
8. Plaxico Burress Leads an Anti-Drug Campaign
Plaxico Burress would be the perfect guy for one those anti-drug commercials.
All he has to do is say a couple of lines.
"Drugs are bad, kids, you shouldn't do them."
The screen shows footage of Plaxico shooting himself in the foot...
The camera pans to Plaxico in jail...
"Like I said, don't do drugs. You'll be shooting yourself in the foot. And you'll end up in jail."
7. Rex Ryan For Nike Socks
"Heck, I don't wear 'em, and I sure don't let my wife wear 'em, but if I ever did want to cover her feet, I'd tell her to wear Nike socks! They're the best!"
6. LeBron Helps People With Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem can be a huge problem for Americans, especially youth.
Simply play a clip of "The Decision," then put LeBron on screen and have him say, "Don't get down on yourself. No matter how you feel, even you can say your more liked than me."
5. Gilbert Arenas For The Verizon Center
"The Verizon Center is just a great place to check out a game. I really felt at home there."
"I mean, I even kept my gun there! What's more homey than that? Bring the kids!"
4. Bart Scott For McDonalds
"Can't wait?" (playing his interview with ESPN's Sal Paolantonio)
"Don't sit down at Applebee's or one of them places that make you wait forever. Go to McDonalds and get some fast food. You won't wait for your food here."
3. Bill Belichick For Miller Lite
He wears ugly sleeveless hoodies, he runs up the score, he doesn't have any fun.
He gets out-smack-talked, outplayed and benches his players who try to have fun.
He doesn't drink beer often, but when he does, he makes sure it isn't Dos Equis. He drinks Miller Lite.
You should too.
He is...the least interesting man in the world.
2. Blake Griffin For Dunkin Donuts
What could be better than a compilation of Blake Griffin dunk highlights, only with a giant donut superimposed onto the basketball.
It could even end with him sitting calmly and slamming home his donut into his coffee.
1. LeBron Promotes The Verizon iPhone
The commercial features LeBron's head and legs on a giant iPhone.
"I used to be the best phone on the crappy network I started with, but now I'm the best phone on the best network! With other good phones! Buy me now!"
"Traitor, shmaitor. When the going gets rough, take the easy way out. Verizon iPhone. The greatest joins the greatest."
Matt Rudnitsky is a student at the University of Michigan and a Featured Columnist/writing intern at Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/Mattrud.