NFL Wild Card Weekend Wagering: Gambling on the Games

If Santa Claus had a gambling habit, he would have been dead a long time ago. There are a lot of Criminal Psychos between here & the North Pole, and they would show no mercy on a goofy old man who gets loaded one night a year and drives around through strange neighborhoods with a truckload of jewelry & furs & gold Rolexes. What if the Hell's Angels got their hands on him? They would set him on fire & stuff him head-first down a smoking chimney.

Hunter Thompson on Killing Santa and Gambling

The NFL is a brutal business.

Where else do they subject innocent paying fans to five more Inquisition like years of Marvin and Carson Live In Cincinnati? The Brown family better spring for a lot more free pop corn to feed fans paying for their sad Cincinnati circus.

How about a PSL price jump and another few swinging seasons of Happy Jack Del Rio to warm the hearts and minds of Florida fans? 

But at least it's not Carolina where the owner ought to hang a sign saying abandon hope all ye who enter here or the Bidwillean desert in Arizona where the Cardinals are reverting to decades old Bidwill form of crap football and ugly cheapness.   

A lot of NFL franchises are doomed.

Nothing says dead in the water like the word Kubiak unless it's pro football in the state of Ohio.

The NFL is a rough business.

Mercy is not quality desired in a player, coach, or money grabbing, greedy eyed groupie. 

One week you're the head coach of the Oakland Raiders, the next you're the midnight bouncer at a bad Bay side Biker bar bragging to the beer bombed patrons that you won all your division games.

At least half the Mannings and all the Favre, save the sex scandal dust, is gone, gone...gone from the playoffs. .

The NFL, like stale Hollywood, loves remakes. 

Why else are Wade Phillips and The Green Hornet both recycled?

If they can redo the A-Team they can make Favre 14: The Haunting of Leslie Frazier.

Frazier better send Van Hesling south with a stake, some Holy Water, silver nails and garlic to make sure that monster stays in Mississippi.   

But it's wild card weekend and hopefully Favre is back in his crypt for good. 

How about some wicked wild card weekend football?

New Orleans Saints [-10 1/2] @ Seattle Seahawks [O/U 44}

Poor Pete Carroll had to operate under a smaller salary cap than he had at USC.

Lucky for Pete he played in a division where one team, the San Francisco 49ers, decided to play a season sans a coach, another, the Arizona Cardinals, decided to play a season sans a quarterback, and the St Louis Rams had a rookie signal caller and a young squad.

So here the Seahawks stand awaiting the Saints, the biggest wild card round road favorites in NFL history, who have lost last years glow and a bit of their efficiency as well.

Still the Saints defense has become a formidable, pressing force. 

Save the St Louis affair, Seattle has lost 3 of their last 4 by double TDs or more. 

And Seattle has to be singing some Talking Heads "You may ask yourself.... well. How did I get here?"

The Saints sink Seattle and begin to think about marching to Atlanta like General Sherman.

Saints 33 Seahawks 13

New York Jets [+ 2 1/2] @ Indianapolis Colts   { O/U 44 1/2]

Peyton Manning has a secret weapon. The Colts Cheerleaders will go shoeless in order to stun the fat football foot fetish Jets coach into defensive mistakes. 

If the unorthodox foot attack works, expect the Patriots to have a shoeless, super model Giselle on the sidelines when New England meets the Jets next year. 

Manning has had his way with Rex Ryan's defense and this game will be decided by the battle between the Colts offensive line and the Jets defensive line.

Can the Jets dominate the game with power running and a pass rush?

In the Spaghetti western "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly," Tuco, the Ugly, tells a blow hard, bullying prison guard "I like big fat men like you. When they fall they make a lot of noise."

Then Tuco cracks the boisterous guard on his huge head and lays him on some lonely train tracks. This week Peyton Manning is Tuco and guess who the guard is?

A strange season ends ugly in Indianapolis and suddenly an old looking Jets team limps back to Gotham to brood their hard knock season and wonder contemplate their coach and his quarterback. 

Colts 30 Jets 22

Baltimore Ravens [- 3] @ Kansas City Chiefs { O/U  41]

The Ravens had a lucky draw because playing Kansas City gives them a much better chance of winning than traveling to Indianapolis to play the Colts.

The Chiefs are just happy to be in the playoffs.

The Ravens, road playoff warriors, will be able to win with a running game and a raging defense. The Ravens offensive and defensive lines will dominate in an old Baltimore-style win.

Joe Flacco won't have to worry about floundering this week.

Unless you're facing an elite signal caller, a dominate defense and above average run blocking offensive line is enough in the playoffs.

Ravens 27 Chiefs 13 

Green Bay Packers [2 1/2] @ Philadelphia Eagles  [ O/U 46]

Michael Vick and Brett Favre have been the NFL's constant season long babble points. 

Sometimes it seems the television talking heads can speak of little else.

But the Packers bring the better defense and arguably the better quarterback, to what should be the weeks best battle.

Despite Donovan McNabb's turnovers last year, the Eagles biggest problem was its defense, which still sorely missing the spectacular Jim Johnson.

And the Eagles defense will again bend early and break late.

Charles Woodson and Clay Matthews make the big plays and the Eagles end the season in a shower of Philadelphia boos.

At least angry Philadelphia fans can take a savage joy in knowing they destroyed the Washington Redskins for a half a decade or so by sending them Donovan McNabb, a type of Manchurian Candidate quarterback. 

Packers 34 Eagles 28

Happy Hunting ...roll them bones to feed that jones.