2010 Chicago Bears: The 10 Lovie Smith Rules of Coaching

Since 2004, Lovie Smith has been dazzling and baffling Chicago Bears fans with his division titles and borderline insane ways of coaching. His mind-numbing press conferences have been no indication as to just how Lovie arrives at his many odd decisions.

Over the years, fans have had a chance to study Smith and have come to the realization that Lovie is not a student of coaching, but rather a man who has made his own philosophies about coaching.

Here's a disgruntled look at 10 rules that Lovie Smith coaches by: win, lose or insanity.  

10. The Cover-2 Is Never Out of Style

Lovie Smith believes in the Cover-Two, even if the rest of the league doesn’t. There is no offense that can defeat it, not even the two times Cincinnati’s offense did and the recent ass-whipping delivered at the hands of Tom Brady.

No, no, no. The Cover-Two works.

Last season, even when the Bears didn’t have the defensive tackle, middle linebacker and safety that the Cover-Two needs to thrive, Lovie stayed the course and got torched. But that’s how he lives. In the Cover-Two. 

9. Hire Your Friends and Ex-Coaches

Look, being an NFL coach is a tough job. Hiring really qualified assistants only leads to two things: they leave you, or they take your job. There’s enough pressure without worrying about all that.

Take it from Smith that hiring your friends and ex-coaches to be on your staff makes sense. The ex-coaches won’t get your job because they have already failed. Your friends won’t steal your job because they are your friend. So, that’s why when Ron Rivera was doing wonders with the Bears defense (and he’s doing the same in San Diego), Lovie had to let him go. Too many headaches if he stayed. 

8. Never Adjust in a Game...Ever

What is the sense of making a game plan, if you are just going to throw it out the window after you realize that your opponent has you completely beaten?

Take the Super Bowl in 2006: The Bears knew the Colts struggled with the 3-4 defense. The Bears play 4-3. So instead of the Bears mixing in a little 3-4, they stuck with the girl they came to the dance with, and Peyton Manning took her out to his car and had sex with her. But at least Lovie had his principles. 

7. Come Up with Quotes You Can Abandon at a Later Date

Lovie understands that there is nothing the media likes more than a good quote.

“Rex is our quarterback,” or “We get off the bus running.”

No matter what it is, it better be good. This way it gives the media so much more to talk about after you bench Grossman or start airing it out as if they had outlawed the hand-off. The best thing a coach can do is make unnecessary definitive statements. 

6. Devin Hester Is Effective Anywhere

It’s true, it’s true. Hester is effective even if he is NOT returning kickoffs and punts. The fact that he has the record and is regarded as the single most dangerous special teams player in history, that doesn’t mean he belongs back there.

Daniel Manning can do a fine job returning kicks. It’s not like the objective is to score every time you run back a kickoff. Sometimes you want good yardage instead. Besides, Hester needs the practice to become the next great wide receiver; even if he is never going to actually become that. 

5. Never Draft a Wide Receiver

Who needs one? Name one Super Bowl team that has won a Super Bowl with a legit WR? Okay…name 11. See, you don’t need a legit WR.

The only thing you need is to draft defense and guys with cool names at that. Corey Wooten, Major Wright and Rex Grossman. That’s talent, forget the wideouts, they only get in the way and command double-coverage and open up the running game. You don’t win Super Bowls with that formula. 

4. Always Call a Timeout in the First 5 Minutes of a Game

If you aren’t going to use a timeout, why do you even have them?

Some coaches believe in having their formula team coached up for the first couple of possessions. Lovie believes in not having them coached through the third play of the first series. Tops. The more timeouts you take early, the harder other teams think you are trying. Lovie is a master manipulator. 

3. Never Have a Timeout Left in the Last 5 minutes of Any Game

If you haven’t figured it out by the fourth quarter, then you aren’t a very good coach. The best coaches use all their timeouts as soon as possible (hopefully on blown challenges). This way they have it all figured out by the end of the game and don’t need it.

Name me one game that has been helped by the use of a late timeout. Okay, name two. How about 600? I didn’t think so. It’s not as easy as you think.

2. In Times of Crisis: Check the Jumbotron

Watch a Bears game and, whenever things are getting hairy, Lovie is always looking up at the Jumbotron. All good coaches have a consult when the game gets tight. Many use their assistants, but Lovie can’t do that with yes-men.

Other coaches have their own replay people. Lovie? He just looks at the big screen hoping that the Accuweather.com weather report will provide all the info he needs to figure out how to stop Matt Ryan or any other NFC foe. 

1. Challenges Are Only for Plays You Know Nothing About