Playoffs Arrive For The 49ers A Month Ahead of Schedule

The great exodus started last March when former general manager Scot McCloughan and the 49ers parted ways under mysterious circumstances, a month before April's draft.

Then, in training camp, defensive end Kentwan Balmer—a first-round pick in 2008—quit the team because he felt he wasn't being given a fair chance to start.

He was traded to the Seahawks for a Starbucks gift card.

A few days after that second-year running back Glen Coffee abruptly retired, saying his heart wasn't into football and that it wasn't his calling.

Offensive coordinator Jimmy Raye was let go after a humiliating 31-10 loss at Kansas City dropped the team to 0-3.

Joining him out the door that week was veteran safety Michael Lewis, who demanded his release once he got wind of the coaching staff's plans to platoon him with rookie Taylor Mays.

The latest man overboard on the NFL's version of the Titanic was defensive backs coach Johnnie Lynn, one of two gentlemen who were given the responsibility of tutoring the club's wobbly secondary.

I know, you're thinking, "Wait a minute, somebody coached those guys?"

Sad, but true, and not just somebody but somebodIES—plural.

At least it was plural until Lynn resigned earlier this week for the always suspicious "personal reasons."

Coach Mike Singletary said the loss of Lynn would hurt him personally, but wouldn't have a profound impact on the secondary, and I'm inclined to agree with him.

Two position coaches can be one too many.

It seems the problem was that Lynn emphasized coverage over tackling, while Joseph stressed tackling over coverage.

The poor defensive backs were so confused that they just collectively decided to neither cover nor tackle—Much easier that way. 

There's so many people jumping ship, it's a wonder the 49ers can still field a professional football team (insert punchline here). 

Singletary said Lynn was someone who would sit in on meetings when he couldn't and was someone who served as a sounding board—a fellow who he bounced ideas off.

Right—Because Singletary's totally represented himself as someone who's filled with ideas.

Whatever.

After the way the 49ers got soundly thumped up at Seattle during their season opener, there was a story from Yahoo's Jason Cole where a team source ripped Raye's absentminded play-calling and his lack of organization.

Singletary said there was a rat within the building and that he would reveal himself in time.

Raye is gone, the offense still looks in equal parts confused and inept and there's a pretty decent chance the rat is still in the building, even while people are fleeing.

At 4-8 and facing the Seahawks again, this time at Candlestick, the 49ers are in desperation mode, and possibly denial as well.

They're aware it's a must-win game, an elimination game, and it's perfectly fine for them to describe it as a playoff game since they won't get to experience the real thing.

Singletary is turning to Alex Smith to save the season because "he gives the team the best chance to win," which is a damning statement toward Troy Smith considering Alex lost 31-6 against the Seahawks on Sept. 12.

One would assume that with Alex Smith and Brian Westbrook that current offensive coordinator Mike Johnson will have both the license and the inclination to open up the offense to more of a shotgun/spread look, but it's been a while since the common sense truck made a delivery around these parts.

For all we know Singletary is going back to Alex Smith because he executes the hand off to Anthony Dixon more crisply.

All that's certain is that the folks at the 'Stick will have one more chance to boo their favorite whipping boy for sins that are his and aren't, and that if we're all lucky maybe "Coach Sing" can give the crowd one last quarterback benching charade, for old time's sake, where he yells and screams at Alex Smith for being terrible on third-and-12 while being completely oblivious to why it was third-and-12 in the first place.

It's fair to say that Seahawks coach Pete Carroll has done more with his crummy roster than Singletary's done with his, as somehow Seattle has a 6-6 record despite being worse on offense (28th to the 49ers 24th) and defense (30th to the 49ers 11th).

Seattle's made an art form out of losing the yardage battles but not the scoreboard ones, and when things aren't going their way, they're not shy about getting creamed, having lost by 17, 17, 30, 34, 15 and 18. 

The 49ers tend to keep their games closer, in their misbegotten belief that the fourth quarter is when their twin advantages of coaching (ha) and toughness (double ha) will carry the day for them.

They could be put out of their misery three weeks ahead of schedule if the Seahawks finish them off on the road, but that would be too simple, wouldn't it?

No, instead they'll win—maybe?—and prolong the inevitable until Week 16 at St. Louis, where the Rams will show them what a franchise quarterback and a capable coaching staff is supposed to look like.

The Niners are supposed to win this game, but this organization has a knack of turning "supposed to"s into "they just had our number"s.

In the meantime, let's hope no one else quits between now and then, because I really don't want to work on Saturday.