Kobe Bryant: Does He Still Want To Be Grinch of NBA?
Kobe Bryant has decided to be the Grinch for Christmas...or at least dress like him.
To spread holiday cheer, Kobe will be wearing green shoes inspired by Dr. Seuss' classic fable "How the Grinch Stole Christmas."
Which got us at Bleacher Report wondering: Does Kobe Bryant want us to think of him as the Grinch of the NBA?
With that whole "adultery" scandal behind him, why is he drawing attention to himself in a Grinch-like manner?
Lebron is supposed to be the new villain, but is Kobe jealous?
Grinch Shoes
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Does Kobe want to be the Grinch of the NBA?
Yes: He's an Attention-Seeker
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"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two, then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry, Boo Hoo."
Kobe, with his outlandish selection of sneakers, figures he can get just as much attention as Lebron.
The crowd will first be shocked, then cry foul, much to Kobe's chagrin.
No: Kobe's Just Having a Little Fun, That's All
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"He brought everything back, all the food for the feast. And he, he himself, the Grinch, carved the roast beef."
Kobe is simply trying to spread a few laughs, and after a while the crowd will acknowledge this, and all join in on the happy treat.
Yes: Kobe Needs That Edge to Compete
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"He was grinchily humming."
With cries raining down from the rafters, Kobe will cackle, knowing he's up against the world, and he wouldn't have it any other way.
No: Kobe Will Donate His Sneakers to a Small Child
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"He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before! Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more!"
At first, Kobe's intentions are evil, to wear those sneakers as a bitter challenge to the whole world. "You like me now?" Kobe will yell.
But then he will see a little child in the front seat with a No. 24 on his chest, and Kobe will smile, take off his green shoes, and find helping others is what he likes best.
Yes: Kobe's Green Shoes a Symbolic Diss to Lebron
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Kobe later reveals that his sneakers don't symbolize the Grinch at all, but the Boston Celtics, who he whispers into Lebron's ear, are the better team than his Miami Heat.
This, of course, makes Kobe a snide old Grinch.
To which Lebron will reply: "You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch / You have termites in your smile / You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile / Mr. Gri-inch / Given the choice between the two of you, I'd take the uh... seasick crocodile."
No: Kobe's Shoes a Symbol He's No Better Than Anyone Else
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"Welcome, Christmas, bring your cheer. Cheer to all Whos far and near. Christmas Day is in our grasp so long as we have hands to clasp. Christmas Day will always be just as long as we have we. Welcome Christmas while we stand, heart to heart and hand in hand."
Kobe's sneakers will become a uniting force, a symbol around which to gather, much like a Christmas tree, while he will tell everyone he is no bigger than they.
"You know what?" he'll say. "We all are Grinches every once in a while. I acknowledge that. But I'll promise you this...I will never forget why I play this game. I will always play this game for the fans, despite my temperament at the time."
Tears stream down everyone's faces.
Yes: Kobe, Sick of Playing on Christmas, Devises a Plan
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"I must stop this whole thing! Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming... but how?"
Kobe hope his shoes are in violation of NBA rules.
David Stern will cry out, "But we can't have a game between the Heat and the Lakers without F-ing Bryant!"
Kobe will laugh, then drive away in his sports car with an extra day of rest from the grind of the NBA season.
No: The Last Thing Kobe Wants Is a Media Blitz
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"That's one thing I hate! All the noise, noise, noise, noise!"
After a horrible period of time with the media after his "adultery" scandal, the last thing Kobe wants is more peering into this personal life.
His green sneaker thing was just a fun little gimmick, but it brings him unwanted attention.
Yes: His Sneakers Land a Lucrative Deal For the NBA
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"Then he slunk to the ice box. He took the Whos' feast, he took the Who pudding, he took the roast beast. He cleaned out that ice box as quick as a flash. Why, the Grinch even took their last can of Who hash."
Kobe's greed takes over on Christmas Day.
Nike's proposal is simple: "Wear these stupid little shoes for Christmas, and then we'll market them, you see, market them to the whole world. A large portion of our profits will go to you and the NBA."
David Stern cackles in the background.
No: Kobe Shows No Grinch Can Steal Christmas
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"What a great Grinchy trick. With this coat and this hat, I'll look just like Saint Nick!"
Kobe's shoes draw protests, people scream out in anger, children cry, Lebron complains, "I'm supposed to be the villain! And nobody will take that away from me!"
But then the game starts. Everyone settles down into their seats. And everything goes back to normal.
At the end of the game, Kobe tells everyone his plan from the start:
"Despite all my evil intentions, despite my Grinch shoes, despite me trying to steal Christmas away from you, it simply was impossible! You see? Christmas will always come, it will always be merry, no matter which Grinches try to ruin it!"
The crowd applauds and declare the statement by Kobe to be one of the warmest moments in NBA history. Kobe goes from a Grinch to the lovable Saint Nick.
