Bears vs. Dolphins: A Eulogy for the 2010 Miami Dolphins Season

Three quarterbacks became two last Sunday afternoon.

A few hours after that, two quarterbacks became one.

Right now, who knows what we have?

I at least expected Tyler Thigpen to be Jay Fiedler. I even welcomed that.

It turns out he was A.J. Feeley with Fiedler's mobility.

Worst of all, the Dolphins did something (on offense) that I haven't seen them do since the 1999 AFC Divisional playoffs.

They gave up. Pure and simple, they gave up the second that Brandon Marshall was knocked out with his injury.

By the way, it was 6-0 Bears when it happened.

I was disgusted with the play-calling. Now I knew that with Thigpen making his first start with only three days to prepare, there would be simplifications made to the playbook. However, it looked to me like Chad Henne wouldn't have made a difference.

Nor would Chad Pennington.

At least three or four times, I found myself yelling "HENNING" while the Dolphins would call another play action pass. You know, play action passes; they only work when the running game is working.

Instead, just like against Baltimore, it looked like the Bears defense knew exactly what the Dolphins would do.

Unacceptable.

The offense was not only surrendering, but also managed to look vanilla while doing it. They had the look of wanting to get the hell out of there.

Just goes to show you that third-string football players are third-stringers for a reason. That's not a knock on Thigpen, who did at least put forth some effort; it's more a knock on the offensive line.

This Dolphins team, a team that I thought would have the chance to be Super before the season began, is now a dead team walking. 

First off—Jake Long, just shut it down. I admire the grit and determination you showed in playing this game. However, your career isn't worth the lost cause that this team is. You were the only one on offense that still showed up. Just have the surgery as soon as possible and be ready for July.

Brandon Marshall, get your stuff together. This diva wide receiver thing—not a good look. I know Jay Cutler is your boy, but seriously, why did you have to draw a penalty with that stupid ball flip? And Brandon, if you're going to act like a diva, could you at least catch a damn ball? 

Dolphins D, good effort out there. Phins should've lost by 34. We got off easy, and it's because of this defense. 

Coach Tony Sparano, no more excuses. I know the offense was a proverbial MASH unit. However, it's the head coach's job to coach up the first, second and third-stringers. The offense gave up on the game when down 6-0. That's on you, Coach. Man up, and make these players man up.

Coach Dan Henning, please retire. It didn't work with Henne, it didn't work with Thigpen and it probably wouldn't have worked with Pennington. It's not them; it's you. Please, Coach Henning, retire and hand the offensive reins to the next guy I'm going to mention.

Chad Pennington, please become the Miami Dolphins' next offensive coordinator.

Jeff Ireland, if Ryan Mallett is available, draft him. I already suggested it once, and I'll keep banging that drum all offseason until the draft.

Enough complaining about all the ills the Dolphins have. Let me take some time to talk about the Chicago Bears.

I had them going 3-13; they've made me feel stupid all season. They're not on the level of Atlanta, the Giants, the Saints and the Eagles—well, not yet anyway—but the NFC could be their's for the taking.

They could conceivably win only their three division games and finish 10-6. That alone could win them the NFC North, and as long as you get to the playoffs, you always have a puncher's chance, right? Especially when they'll get at least one game at the flying saucer that landed on Lake Michigan that they call "Soldier Field." 

Scary thing with Chicago is, their best may be yet to come. 

They're finishing 11-5, NFC North champions, No. 2 seed.

As for the Dolphins' future? Honestly, if they play the way they played tonight and concede the rest of the season, they'll be 5-11. The effort today made me sick to my stomach as a Dolphins fan. Sad thing is, they got special teams right tonight of all nights.

The defense kept them in the game and played hard, but the offense—just terrible. Ronnie Brown at times looked like he'd rather be somewhere else, Ricky Williams looked like he found his bong and Brandon Marshall, well, I already discussed him. The offensive line, save for Long, just wanted to get out. 

Again, that's unacceptable, and it's all on coaching.

Okay, enough with the Dolphins. Now I'll just do these picks as quickly as possible and then call it a night.

HOME TEAM IN CAPS

JACKSONVILLE (-1.5) over Cleveland

PITTSBURGH (-7) over Oakland

Buffalo (+5) over CINCINNATI 

Detroit (+6) over DALLAS

Arizona (+7.5) over KANSAS CITY

Baltimore (-10.5) over CAROLINA

TENNESSEE (-2) over Washington

MINNESOTA (+3) over Green Bay

Houston (+7) over NEW YORK JETS

Seattle (+12) over NEW ORLEANS

Tampa Bay (-3) over SAN FRANCISCO

Atlanta (-3) over NEW ORLEANS

Indianapolis (+3.5) over NEW ENGLAND

PHILADELPHIA (-3) over New York Football Giants

Denver (+10) over SAN DIEGO

LAST WEEK (vs. spread): 5-9 (8-6)

OVERALL (vs. spread): 77-68 (75- 67-3)

Much like the Miami Dolphins, Thomas Galicia quit on the article halfway through. However, he was suffering from a stomachache. Follow him on Twitter @thomasgalicia.