2010 Oakland Raiders: Ruthless Pirates Triumph over Denver Broncos

I had asked in a recent article if Oakland’s ruthless Pirates would ever return.  The Oakland Raiders answered this question last Sunday by smashing the teeth out of the Denver Broncos. Not only did the ruthless Pirates return, they broke a team record in the process, and they completely dominated the Denver Broncos. 

There is no better way to say that, and it feels so good that I’ll say it again: They completely dominated the Denver Broncos.  Were the Raiders ruthless?  You’d better believe it.

I was unable to watch the game on TV, because my hometown always favors the Chargers (who are 2-5 by the way).  I ended up “watching” the game on NFL.com, which used to annoy me, but I’ve gotten used to it and it’s better than nothing.  I digress. 

Only four minutes into the game, I receive a delightful shock via my computer screen. The word “Touchdown” came bursting across my beautiful 24” liquid crystal display, and I had learned the Raiders were up 7-0. 

I had my usual reaction to the Raiders' first score, that of gun-jumping, unwarranted Super Bowl claims, followed by goose bumps, and eye-lighting excitement, all of which are handled in the usual fashion: hastily internalized, squashed, packaged and shoved deep down into the darkness of my mind where they can melt into a moldy mush of wet cardboard and regret. 

After all, I’m a Raiders fan, and recent history tells me that no Raider lead is safe, especially that of a measly seven points. 

In fact, I’m so cynical and negative about my team that I force myself to believe that a Raider lead of seven actually means they’re down by seven.  Why?  Well, besides being a useful coping mechanism for the inevitable letdown, the truth is that the Raiders need at least a two-touchdown lead to win a game and that’s only if the two touchdown lead is in the last two minutes of the fourth quarter. 

Not only that, but it seems like the opposition always responds tenfold when the Raiders score on them. 

A Raider score seems to fire up the opposition so intensely that it’s usually just a matter of minutes before they do something demoralizing to us, shattering the dreams of a potential win, and leaving the happiness of a Raider touchdown resembling that of an abandoned car under an overpass in the Motor City: frozen, hollow, rusting, useless and sadly forgotten.

I was so used to that feeling, that after I saw that we had scored, I rotated my chair back to the TV where I could watch the lowly Sand Diego Chargers wet themselves trying to defeat the New England Patriots.  I only pretended to watch.  Of course, I was completely consumed by the game on my computer, but I told myself I wouldn’t check the score of the Raider game for another 15 minutes.

Four minutes later, I found myself spinning my chair back around to find out what kind of 60-yard gains Kyle Orton was putting on our defense. I imagined him throwing bomb after bomb to Eddie Royal through the thin mountain air. 

To my amazement, the word “Touchdown” was again flashing across my still beautiful 24” LCD screen.  The Raiders had scored again.  “What?” I yelled.  “How did that happen?”

It turns out, after all my nay-saying, that Chris Johnson knows how to play corner.  I had been calling for Chris Johnson’s release since the middle of last season, but I was thrilled to learn that he had finally done something to help this team. 

Chris Johnson (suddenly a pro) had actually intercepted Kyle Orton’s first pass and returned it for a huge TD.  This time, there would be no packaging, storing or containing of my joy.  I let my emotions out in a huge pirate-like laugh, for those old salty Pirates had wantonly returned, and I wasn’t going to let my cynical nature weaken the moment.

The Raiders didn’t plan on slowing down.  They continued to pillage and plunder as I’d so hoped that they would. 

Darren McFadden ran the ball with impunity, scoring at will.  It was wonderful.  By the time the two-minute mark came, the Donkeys were down 38-0. Like I said: Total domination.

Then, like a flash that old feeling was back; that dark and cold worrying that grips my insides every time our opposition gets things going.  There was one completion by Kyle Orton, then a long run (imagine that), then another completion, and on and on it went until the Donkeys finally dragged their dusty old wagons into the end zone.  I turned back to the Chargers game, as fearful and cynical as ever. 

“Here we go again,” I thought, “The damn Donkeys are gonna make some glorious comeback, and it’s going to be ‘Oakland sucks’ all over the Internet and TV for the next week.” 

It was halftime and I was numb, ravaged by the liters of dopamine my body had produced thus far and coping with the cynical reality that anything can happen.  All I could do was hope the Raiders weren’t going to check out at the half, seeing as they've done it before.

Once halftime ended, the Donkeys hit the field ready to play.  They scored again, and did so quickly. The lead had now been dwindled down to 24 from 38.  There was a whole half to play, and naturally, I feared the worst.

My fears were washed away quickly as the Pirates continued their raid.  Darren McFadden, Marcel Reese and Michael Bush all scored touchdowns in the third quarter (that would be four TDs in one game for McFadden…and he’s on my fantasy squad, yea for me!).  When I said the Raiders smashed the Broncos in their mouth, I wasn’t kidding. 

In the end the Donkeys never scored again, and they must have left the field feeling dirty, abused and downright shameful.  They were terrible, and the Raiders were near perfect. 

Even Jason Campbell looked great.  He had a QB rating of 127.9, while Kyle Orton had a paltry 73.6.  I believe that Jason Campbell finally decided to just "let’r rip" this week, since there was no way he could have done worse than the 10.7 QB rating he put up against the San Francisco 49ers the week before.  I hope he never goes back to his old, scared and mediocre ways.  I like the new Jason. 

Coach Cable will have a tough decision this week because Bruce Gradkowski might be making his return, after nursing a sore shoulder for the last two weeks.    

Darren McFadden was unbelievable against Denver, as he has been all year long (sans the injury weeks).  The Raiders organization can rest assured they made the right choice picking him up, even though the haters continue to say otherwise. 

Michael Bush and Zack Miller were as solid as ever, and when they’re both on the field with Darren McFadden, the Oakland Raiders become the unstoppable three-headed monster that should leave the rest of the league in a fearful freeze. 

Going forward, I fully expect the Raiders to keep the flames fueled, dumping heaps of wood on the huge blaze of success that was ignited last week in Denver. 

Those little Seahawks should be scared, too.  Yet, I fear their weak wings won’t be able to lift them high enough to avoid the intense heat of the pillaging Pirates below.  Those birds will be limping home.  Go Raiders!