College Football's Worst Teams: The Terrible Ten of Week 7

Unlike the bottom rail on top world of the Top 10, where top teams were scalped and slaughtered last week, the Terrible Ten top teams have retained a death grip on the sinking ship.

Big Red still has the blues in the lonely hollows of Western Kentucky.

The New Mexico Lobos still look like lost boys.

And the coaching coup count has begun with the Chief Golden Gopher sniped in Minnesota and North Texas' Todd Dodge run out of Dodge.

Still, the saddest part of the college football land this week is on the windswept Great Plains, where Nebraska was kicked and thrown out of the Big 12 saloon face first into the manure-smelling mud, and Kansas sits and wonders what type of tornado swept away their season?

1] Western Kentucky Hilltoppers [0-25]

Woe is Big Red, the Toppers' slowly going mad mascot, as Western Kentucky blew a 17-point fourth quarter lead to Louie Louie Monroe.

But it's back-to-back Louie Louie time as Louie Lafayette eagerly awaits to suck Big Red's blood in True Blood country.

Big Red among the undead?

At least he could skip Topper day games. 

Still in the bad Sun Belted Conference, Big Red should get a big win soon.

Maybe they ought to call alumnus John Carpenter home to face the Mean Green of North Texas on Halloween Eve.

2]  New Mexico Los Lobos [0-6] 

Still stunned by back-to-back last-minute losses to the New Mexico Aggies and Idle, they await their slaughter at the hands of the San Diego State Aztecs.   

3] Minnesota Golden Gophers [1-5]

The Gophers coach is gone, gone, gone, and the nation's oldest coach, Joe Paterno, is coming to town to face the new Gopher in the hole.

Penn State is close to the Terrible Ten, and Paterno, stuck at 397 wins and with wolves howling at his door, better beat the Gophers if he is going to make it to 400 wins this season.

4] San Jose State Spartans [1-6]

Go tell the Spartans to stop scheduling teams that would slime all the pro teams in California too.

The Spartans have been slammed 214-33 by the five Top 10 teams they faced.

Ouch. Hopefully the school made some money off the bruises.

5] New Mexico State Aggies [1-6]

It matters not that Fresno State whipped ya when ye have a wonderful Los Lobos pelt hanging from your belt.

Being the King of New Mexico is all that matters for the Aggies.

6] Nebraska Vengeance on Texas [1-8 since the birth of the Big 12]

Last time an overly crazy corn child got a hometown beatdown like that was when Linda Hamilton whooped on mad-eyed Isaac in Children of the Corn.

The Huskers were wild-eyed with wrath and revenge when preparing to purge their Texas demons.

But as Deadwood's Al Swearengen once said, announcing your plans is a good way to hear God laugh.

And they gave the Horns a $9.5 million going-away gift.

7] Marphis [2-11]

For the purposes of this poll the programs of Memphis and Marshall have kindly agreed to merge their bad ball clubs. 

Merging their rosters, though, won't help either team overmuch. 

8] Kansas Jayhawks [7-59]

Losing 59 to 7, at home, to the cross-state rival Wildcats kind of makes a Jayhawk want to curl up in its nest, bury its banged-up beak and not come out till spring.

9] Akron Zipped [0-7]

Zip, zapped, zing, zam, zoo. Stan Lee ought to provide captions for Akron beatings.

Tie

10] Washington State [1-6]

State of Tennessee [6-12]

While Washington State wanders aimlessly through yet another lost season, the troubled teams in Tennessee—Vanderbilt, Middle Tennessee State and Tennessee—wonder what became of the talent in their state.

Terrible Tale of the Week

The unfolding greed-driven ugliness of the bowl system, particularly the Sugar, Fiesta and Orange Bowls, might finally drive a stake through that corrupt system's black heart.

Perhaps not...the BCS system has more lives than Freddy Krueger.

The Sugar Bowl, an event that claims charity tax-exempt status, is reported to have profited $14 million annually, plus millions in government subsides, from 2006 to 2008 and given not a nickel to any charities.

Reports say Sugar Bowl Sugar Daddies, during that time, collected high six-digit salaries, gifts, perks and bonuses and paid not a dime to any charity of record in that period.

And that's after Katrina ripped through the Sugar Bowl's hometown.

What excuses do the fat cats make for that?