USC-Virginia Recap. Trojans Take a Step Back

USC was off to an ominous start a good eight hours before kickoff when the vaunted Army defense completely throttled Hawaii's offense in the second half. Army actually had the game won, within easy field goal range with less than a minute left, before an epic implosion of a false start, lost fumble, and mindless late hit on three consecutive plays gave Hawaii the game. I was forcibly reminded of a decade earlier, when Trojan fans were euphoric over an early rout of Penn State, only to watch Toledo beat the Nittany Lions by twice as much the next week.          

USC demonstrates why they always like to defer. They actually get a play in before their first of many holding calls, but still stake their claim to the ugliest opening three and out of 2010. I guess the Trojans need to take their awards where they can get them.

I was assured that half of the Hawaii game was a mirage. Unfortunately, it was the offensive competence that seems illusory. The defense still looks slow to the quarterback, slower to the edge, and remarkably quick to collect damaging penalties. The Hawaii offensive line got a draw against the USC defensive front, but now both lines are getting man-handled. I check the rankings to see if I was mistaken about Virginia not being in there. Okay, they're ranked seventh. In the ACC. If this were basketball, that might make them a tournament team, but these Wahoos aren't even NIT material.

After a dull and dispiriting first quarter I break out the stopwatch and confirm that the Virginia defensive front is getting to Barkley quicker than the USC tailbacks can get to the line of scrimmage. I'm no design specialist, but this can't be optimum functionality.

Matt Kalil is caught in one of my nightmares where I'm straining to get my feet moving while trying to run from knife-wielding psychopaths. He almost gets Barkley killed on a sack, false starts, then holds. A dubious trifecta with an additional degree of difficulty for completing the combination within a handful of plays. Showing solidarity with his linemate, if not skill or understanding of the situation, Tyron Smith pulls down a defender in plain view on SC's patented fake dive, pop pass into the flat, negating a big first down. What Tyron, you didn't think you could provide Matt with the one count necessary to complete the play without holding? Khaled Holmes enters the fray by negating a touchdown with an obvious hold. This is not the O-Line competition I was looking for.

Virginia is actually in control of the first half. Only an interception that would make Aaron Corp shake his head in disbelief and a stupid penalty on a fake punt has kept the Cavaliers from an early lead. I find myself wondering if Rival's writer Gerard Martinez is revamping that half of his maxim about things not being as bad as they appear. This sure seems to be one of those side mirror deals about impending disaster being closer than you think.  

The Trojan defensive line is again being pushed around by a supposed tomato can. I can only assume that supposed chip on their collective shoulders is actually a jumbo cord of fire wood, because they sure look like tired men struggling with a heavy burden. Virginia's 255 pound tailback gets to the edge with ease and I suppose next week Minnesota will have some frigate easing out of port that will somehow manage to clear the dock without SC getting on board.

Robert Woods makes a beautiful, stretching catch of a Barkley bomb and the Trojans are inside the five. Ordinarily I'm a big proponent of running the ball in, but now I'm screaming for a first down pass. Running the ball would take at least two plays and the odds of not having a holding call mixed in seem slight. Barkley gets to Cameron ahead of the flag patrol and USC has a lead.

The defense responds in their usual end of half fashion, aiding and abetting a lightning fast drive like a gentleman escorting his date to their reserved table. If this is a new Trojan tradition, giving up scores at the end of every freaking half, then on the whole I'd rather go back to the I-Formation and 30 carries for the tailback.

Barkley jeopardizes a sure half-ending field goal by scrambling off the remaining eight seconds, but cashes in on a dart to Carswell. He not only gives the Trojans the lead, but by scoring with one second left in the half he makes it unlikely that the USC defense can continue their new, last possession tradition. Yes, the defense manages to hold and Barkley is made an honorary defensive captain.  

I find myself hyperventilating a bit, so I go to Dan Weber's live notes from the press box for some calming, sober analysis. I've had better ideas. I'm discouraged, but Dan is bouncing between aghast and apoplectic. He's starting to think that the entire fall camp was a charade, staged solely to make him look like a mindless homer. I quickly leave the Peristyle in search of a stack of paper bags, some to breath in and some for queasiness.

Virgina takes the second half kickoff and, surprise, surprise, drives the field again before a delay of game penalty derails them. USC seems to be reduced to hoping for opponent incompetence as their defensive staple. If the Trojans gave out little helmet decals for every time a defensive end held the point of attack, they'd have a whole bunch of stickers left over for kid's birthday parties and a lot of hats would still have that pristine look. On the other hand, T.J. McDonald is going for the collector's edition of personal foul decals.

The only halftime adjustment seems to be Barkley channeling Christy Matthewson and throwing a series of fadeaways. He misses Rojo five yards behind the defense and then Rojo drops a first down pass. If these two are going south there's not a lot left to fight with.

One game may be a fluke, but two is a trend and this particular trend is starting to look like national employment figures. I'm not quite ready to say the entire defensive front is over hyped and underwhelming, but I won't be surprised to hear of a new, can't miss defensive tackle recruit, an Irish kid named Bill O'Goods.

The Dr.Pangloss society is still out on the USC message boards, trumpeting the best of all possible worlds, but their numbers appear to be dwindling. First we weren't supposed to be concerned about Hawaii shredding our defense and now I guess we should just shrug over the juggernaut Wahoos winning both sides of the line of scrimmage. I won't even trade on the fact that a team is supposed to show their most improvement between games one and two. As of right now, there are seven teams on USC's remaining schedule playing better than the Trojans. The bad news is Notre Dame is one of them. The worse news is that Notre Dame isn't very good.

It's being pointed out that the secondary looks better than at Hawaii. Very true, although it would be hard pressed not to, but every other facet of the game looks decidedly worse. It's nice to get the acne cleared up in advance of the big date, but it's not much of a closing move when you show up with sewage breath, body hair tufting through tears in your shirt, and obvious trouser seepage both front and back.

Obviously angered over Barkley's destruction of their end-of-half concession score streak, the defense steps it up at the end of the game. Leading by ten, they usher Virginia down the field with the determination of a man dragging a reluctant horse to a pond. The Cavaliers refuse to drink, botching an easy field goal. After another offensive burst of futility fueled by a false start, the defense redoubles their
efforts, handing out penalty yardage like party favors. They manage to dodge the third and long conversion, only to give it up on fourth and long. Virginia punches it in with a few seconds remaining and the tradition is restored.

USC starts off 2-0. Minnesota and WSU provide two more weeks of dress rehearsals. Thus endeth the positives.

Somehow I keep having this recurring vision of a USC true-believer's Kool-Aid stand, now obviously abandoned, with a sign consisting of crossed out, descending prices, until all that remains is a hastily scrawled "Serve Yourself". The unattended punch bowl is largely full and a few early autumn leaves are swirling on the surface.