10 People You Might Meet At Your Fantasy Football Draft

I believe this is my 10th year playing fantasy football, but it's all starting to blur together.  For some reason nothing really gets me more excited than fantasy draft day, the NFL draft being a close second.  Putting on the GM hat around 10 times a year (yeah I'm a junkie, no I don't need help) is riveting.  Of course, there are many draft formats: slow live draft, real-time live draft online, draft party, and autopick.  Personally, I can't believe the latter still exists.  Autopick aside, I've been able to witness all sorts of different characters on draft day.  I'm going to share with you the 10 people you might meet on your draft day.  And if you are one of these people, I am making fun of you.

The "I Was Going to Pick that Guy" guy: Somehow, you're drafting in the 9 spot and Andre Johnson falls to you there.  You gladly take him.  The guy in the 10 spot exclaims, "I was going to pick that guy!"  Well crap.  Had you known that you would have for sure not picked him right?  The worst part is he continues to say this every round, after just about every pick.  You'd think the only guys he doesn't want are the guys he actually picked.

The "God's Gift to Fantasy Football" guy: By the end of the draft, everyone wants to strangle this guy.  Yes, I realize I took Vincent Jackson half a round ahead of his ADP.  Yes I realize he's serving a 3-game suspension.  Yes I'm getting tired of hearing how sick your team is after every pick you make.  Rest assured, the rest of us are so proud of you for doing your fantasy football homework.  We still don't care to hear your opinion about all 180 picks made in the draft.  Oh and by the way, we all hope you get last place.

The "Binder" guy:  Not quite the "Know It All" guy, this guy shows up to your draft with a binder thicker than the city of Chicago's phonebook.  Instead of studying up the night before, this guy instead decided to print off 8 reams of paper consisting of draft guide's from every fantasy site out there.  What's more annoying is that he won't make a pick until there is less than 5 seconds on the clock...every single round.  Just make sure you bring plenty of beer to drink as you watch this maniac frantically scramble through his "light reading."

The "Time to Get Drunk" guy: No doubt one of the favorites.  This guy is a football fan for one reason; it gives him an excuse to get drunk.  You mention the words "draft party", all he hears is "party" and he's signed up.  He probably hasn't ever played fantasy football, and if you're not doing a draft party there is no doubt he's getting smashed while sitting at his computer.  While I've never seen it happen, I'm sure this guy has taken Adrian Peterson, RB, Chicago in the first round of a draft.  Nevertheless, you can expect that this guy probably rolls with the same lineup all year (including starting bye week guys), never makes a free agent/waiver pickup, and maybe wins 2 matchups.

The "Defense Wins Championships" guy: Ok, when I see this guy, it makes me turn into "God's Gift to Fantasy Football Guy."  I realize the Jets are going to have a good defense this year, but you just took them in the 6th round.  Defense wins championships in the NFL, not fantasy football.  "Remember the Titans" defense from 2008?  "Remember the Titans" defense that you took in the 6th round in 2009?  How'd that one work out for you?  On a lighter note, I did once witness a guy pick the Bears defense in the 1st round three years ago.

The "You'll Never Guess Who My Favorite Team Is" guy: Actually yes we will, because 5 of your first 7 picks were Cleveland Browns.  You do know that Delhomme would have lasted until the end of the draft right?  Don’t worry, you’re the only one that knows that this (along with every other player on your favorite team) is his breakout year.  I get the whole, "I'm going to pick this guy so that I can root for him" mentality, but you're taking team loyalty to a whole new level.  Face it, fantasy football wasn't meant for you.  The good thing is that if you manage to snag one of his team's guys, he'll be more valuable to him in a trade than just about any elite player.  The problem is there are no players left on his favorite team that are even worth a draft pick.

The "We Need One More Guy" guy: Let's face it, this guy has never played fantasy football in his life, doesn't even really follow the NFL, and has no concept of who to draft when.  Unfortunately, you needed one more owner to fill your league.  I know Favre is a good quarterback, but you probably could have held off until after the first round to take him.  Thanks for your monetary donation though.

The "Girl": I hate to be stereotypical (even though I’m writing an article full of stereotypes), and I know they are out there, but I have yet to come across a girl that knows what any of this fantasy football business is about.  She's similar to the "We Need One More Guy" guy, but with some slight anatomical differences.  Count on her being your buddy's girlfriend.  You know the one you all hate because she is too controlling of him and he can only play fantasy football if she's involved too because if she doesn't then he doesn't love her.  Good job buddy, you just got yourself two teams in the same league.

The "I Hate the League Rules" guy: So you've gone out of your way to setup a league that everyone can enjoy, and this guy will not stop complaining that Quarterback touchdowns are only worth 4 points and that Devin Hester is going to get 1 point every time he catches a WR screen pass that ends up going for negative 5 yards.  We get it; you're accustomed to a very specific scoring format that you never strayed away from.  Don't be afraid to try something new, this isn't your mommy's house where you get everything you want.

The "Gostkowski" guy: You'd think this was Stephen's son.  This guy is similar to the "Defense Wins Championships" guy.  Nevermind, they are the same guy.

Happy drafting everyone!  I'd love to hear some more fantasy football stereotypes if you have them. 

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This article first appeared at FantasyFootballPharmacy >>>>>