LeBron James Decision: It Must Be Great To Be the King

Finally, the spectacle that is "LeBron James, Free Agent" will come to a screeching halt tonight. On ESPN, no less.

How thoughtful of you, Mr. James...err, I mean, King James.

Leave it to the biggest name in sports to have never won a Championship to make a mockery of free agency. I'm sure that somewhere Curt Flood is rolling over in his grave.

Do we really need an American Idol-ish hour-long special for you to proclaim your love for all things Ohio and, quite possibly, your newfound lust for another NBA team not stationed in Cleveland?

I, for one, would rather watch re-runs of Beverly Hills 90210, and watch the scrolling news at the bottom of SportsCenter, than be force-fed one full hour of LeBron juice.

Perhaps The King should take note of how his buddy Dwyane Wade handled himself yesterday when he humbly announced that he would be returning to Miami alongside his new BFF, Chris Bosh.

No press conference. No drama. No Jim Gray.

And, if all indications are correct that King James will join forces with Wade and Bosh and become the first team ever to play three on five night in and night out, why make your announcement 10 minutes from the Knicks' training facility, and a short drive away from Madison Square Garden?

Michael Jordan came out of retirement twice and never pulled a charade like King James is orchestrating tonight. Roger Clemens unretired once, and didn't need an hour-long sit-down with Jim Gray to explain his decision to sign with the Yankees. And those guys had enough diamond championship rings to open their own jewelry store.

So tonight signifies the beginning of something, though I'm not sure what. Either King James decides to stay in Cleveland or he bolts for greener pastures someplace else.

But what I do know is that there will be millions of people who will tune in to ESPN tonight at 9pm EST, and by 10:01pm EST those same folks will be wishing that they could have the last hour of their lives back.