Memo to Cleveland Cavs Fans: Da King Ain't Dead; No Fat Lady Singing

Jabber HeadMay 12, 2010

To: Cavaliers Fans
From: Reg - Fan of a team/city that's accustomed to winning (& occasionally losing a big game)

I'm a Lakers fan. I'm writing to Cavs fans as a bastion of reference. You see...My team has actually won a plethora of series...and title or two...or fifteen...but who's counting? I know...I know...Your team has never won diddly squat, so you're easily frustrated. I also understand that your entire city hasn't won diddly squat since Jim Brown was playing alongside Moses.

So, I'm here to school you on how winners act in the face of adversity...or at least how fans who WANT their teams to be winners, act.

First off...Perhaps the notice wasn't widely spread throughout Cavs Nation, but NBA series can run for up to SEVEN games, not six or five. Hence, the BOOTY-KICKING that the Celtics put on your Cavs in Game 5 is pertinent only as 1 loss. Therefore, the series isn't over, nor does it have to be over tonight (Thursday) in Boston. If the Flyers can win three straight from the Bruins after going 0-3, then surely the Cavs can win one whole game in Boston tonight. If so, then it's back to Cleveland for Game 7.

Secondly...and perhaps most importantly...Quit dissin LeBron! Have you people gone bat "stuff" crazy? Sure, he had a non "King-like" performance in Game 5, but I remember MJ stinking up the first three games of the 1993 Eastern Conference Finals and then lighting up the Knicks for 54 points in Game 4. LeBron isn't MJ, but he's the closet thing to him not named "Kobe", currently wearing baggy shorts.

Win or lose (this series, the next series, or the title)...Do you folks REALLY want to piss LeBron off so he'll leave? Have you forgotten what the Cavs looked like pre-LeBron? If you have, I suggest that you look at the Clippers, Knicks, & Nets for reminder-reference points.

Sure, he may leave you anyway, but at least don't tip the scales toward New York, Miami, or Chicago by being loud-mouthed, complaining, ungrateful fans of a man who's done more for you than even Madonna once (nee...several times) did for the entire Pistons and Heat squads back in the day.

I hope you Cavs' fans realize how difficult it was for me to write this. I figure my Lakers (Suns fans excuse me...or not) have a much better shot at beating the old-ass Celtics or the over-rated Magic in the NBA Finals than they do the Cavs. But, there's no way that I or any Lakers fan can root for the hated Celtics tonight...or any other night....or day...or even in a meaningless nightmare .

In closing, I suggest that you Cavs fans be REALLY quiet all day, today. Don't say anything else stupid that might depress or tick off Da King or that might remind Shaq (who's playing well) that he's a million & a half years old. Trust me...win or lose tonight, you'll have plenty of time to have Mike Brown fired or if you're really crazy...to run Da King out of Cleveland...leaving you to count on The Browns...and...The Tribe...and...The Cuyahoga River (Is that thing still on fire?).