A Rose By Any Other Name - The Day After The NBA Draft

As I return from hiatus, here are five observations about the freshman graduation ceremony that was the NBA draft.

1) Though I seriously doubt Derrick Rose gets to keep his old number - lest he not get out of Chicago alive - he will improve that team immediately.  Memphis also had a bunch of egos besides his own and he meshed them together like an awesome barbecue entree at Rendezvous.  Ben Gordon could be the first bench player to average over 25 points a game and Drew Gooden's beard could provide some awesome dunks for the highlight reel, provided the family of four he's hiding in there can hold on during the thunder.

2) Jay Bilas needs to change careers from basketball analyst to special education teacher because everybody is special.  Derrick Rose, Michael Beasley and Kevin Love - I get it.  Mario Chalmers and Brandon Rush?  I'll grant them a moment in the light - they won the championship.  But Maarty Leunen? OK, he lost a lot of weight on "Biggest Loser".  But I could lose a lot of weight if I had some trainer kicking my ass every day and I was motivated to get off the couch once a season.

3) The Celts won a championship so I'll cut them some slack for the Giddens pick.  Perhaps they're still nursing the hangover and Danny Ainge, having sipped something stronger than a Shirley Temple, woke up next to a nude Matt Damon who was covered in cigarette butts and Murphy's Irish Stout.  From this momentary bacchanalia came a strong desire to keep the run going.  I'm just not sure picking a Kansas reject who, while skilled, will merely hope to make it through the season without being pimp-slapped by Ray Allen was the best way to go. 

4) Phoenix's hellacious climes make it a prime residential find for seniors who complain of freezing temps when the mercury dips below ninety on their way out from Morrison's Cafe after a hearty early-bird special of creamed corn and chipped beef.  Considering they then tool out to the desert roadways in their Cadillac boats it's only fitting that the local hoops team follow suit and draft Robin "Sideshow Oscar Gamble"  Lopez who will combine with Shaq to produce a lot of 47-46 games.  George Mikan, can I get a layup?

5) Steal of the draft - Courtney Lee.  He landed with the perfect team in that he won't be the primary option but should overtake Maurice Evans somewhere down the road during the upcoming season.  At the very least he should bump J.J. Redick from the roster.  Somehow I don't think Mr. Bilas will think that's special.