J.J. Watt Eats Up to 9,000 Calories Per Day, Is an Unrepentant Brunch-Lover

ESPN's Tania Ganguli published an interesting story Thursday on J.J. Watt and the absurd caloric demands that must be met just for the NFL's foremost person-tackler to function properly on a daily basis.

The Houston Texans defensive end/muscular machine talked about his diet and the recent tweaks he's made to it in order to fend off exhaustion during his prolonged workouts.

"My body was grabbing for something that wasn't there," Watt told Ganguli, describing a workout earlier in the year that left him feeling uncharacteristically gassed. "It was trying to fuel itself with no fuel."

So like any sensible person, Watt responded to the deficit by wrapping his foods in bacon and demolishing avocado by the hillock.

"I started crushing avocados," Watt said.

It's all part of a new diet plan cosigned by his longtime personal trainer, Brad Arnett, who realized Watt's habit of paleo-ish clean eating just wasn't giving him enough fuel to burn through.

Arnett then made some delicious prescriptions: For every eight chicken breasts Watt ate, Arnett suggested three be swaddled in bacon. Sweet potatoes appeared on Watt's plates. Pasta, fish and avocados—all the avocados—began finding their way to his table in greater quantities than before.

The result has been a distinct spike in Watt's daily caloric intake, which he says now stands between 6,000 and 9,000 calories per day, depending on his workload.

Another interesting revelation from Ganguli's piece is Watt outing himself as a shameless, highfalutin brunch-lover.

He spoke at length about the meal, which he's brought back into his gastronomic rotation as a cheat-day indulgence in accordance with his new regimen.

Seriously, Watt really likes brunch, as he told Ganguli:

"

I love brunch. Brunch is my favorite meal. I went there, had brunch, had a massive potato pancake omelet, which is an omelet inside a potato pancake. Then I had stuffed French toast with berries and stuff. My cheat meals aren't even that exciting. That was my cheat meal. The omelet is still pretty darn healthy. The stuffed French toast was the cheat meal, but that was delicious.

"

Now, whether any grown man should ever utter "I love brunch" in public is a polarizing matter society will likely never agree upon. There are some who would go as far as saying that brunch, as a meal, has jumped the shark entirely and devolved into a mindless, all-day bacchanal of tomato water and vodka. 

But try telling that to this man:

Bob Levey/Associated Press

You will not speak ill of all-day breakfast to this man.

You will stand quietly as he eats his bacon-wrapped meats and avocado omelets. Because he is J.J. Watt, and you do not want to be added to his eggs benedict. 

Dan is on Twitter. An all-day brunch wristband for $50 is the American dream at work.