A Crown of Futility: Finally, the Raiders or Pirates will win something

In any given year, sportsbook fans can count on a number of things—highlight-reel plays; shocking upsets; steroid scandals. And, of course, it wouldn't be football or baseball season if it weren't for the dreadful play of the Oakland Raiders and Pittsburgh Pirates.

Both teams are setting their respective sports back decades. They are, for all intent purposes, pathetic. Laughingstocks. Jokes. Both teams made dubious moves are set dubious records this week, so naturally it begs the question: which, of the Raiders or Pirates, is the worst team in professional sports?

The Raiders made an incredibly short-sighted move this week when they traded a first-round draft pick for Patriots defensive end Richard Seymour . Seymour is a very good football player, but a first-rounder is a high price to pay for a 30-year-old who missed eight games over the past two years. Not only does he have a lot of mileage on his odometer, but Seymour is a free agent at the end of the season. Not only did the Raiders fork over what's likely to be a top-5 pick, they gave it away for a player that will almost assuredly flee at the end of the year—if he even shows up. Seymour has yet to report to Oakland.

Who can blame him? This team has been a train wreck for years, largely thanks to a senile owner who interferes at every chance he gets. Last year, the team signed Javon Walker for $55 million dollars; he caught 15 passes. Gibril Wilson was given nearly $40 million and cut after one year. At least he made it through the season—DeAngelo Hall, who was acquired for two picks and awarded a $72-million deal, was released halfway through his first year in Oakland.

Oh—and the coach allegedly punched out one of his assistants during the preseason.

Yet here are the Pittsburgh Pirates. Documenting all their follies would take longer than finding a marble in a swimming pool filled with oatmeal, but one number can quickly sum it all up: 17. Yes, it's been 17 inglorious years since the Pittsburgh Pirates tasted a winning record—the longest such streak in all of sports.

It's a run not even the Raiders can match. While Oakland has been truly awful, going 24-72 over the past six years, it can at least cling to the three year stretch from 2000-2002, when the team won 33 games and even appears in the Super Bowl (naturally, the Raiders were absolutely crushed).  The Pirates, on the other hand, have an entire generation of fans who have never seen the team with a .500 record.

It takes a truly horrific franchise to pull that off. Longevity has to count for something and, without a doubt, the Pirates have been very bad for very long. Whichever angle you look at it, the Pittsburgh Pirates have earned the Crown of Futility—they are the worst team in professional sports.

Hey, whaddya know? The Raiders couldn't even win at being the worst.