My Top 10 Reasons To Write for Bleacher Report

I love those "Top 10 Reasons" lists because they require brevity and succinctness—hallmarks of great sportswriting. 

This is in honor of my one-year anniversary of writing mainly tennis articles. I published my first article for Bleacher Report on Aug. 22, 2008—it was called "Roger Federer - Virtually Unequalled," and today it has 223 reads and no comments. 

I think initially it got about 50 reads or less.  

With a little help from my friends, I have compiled my own "Top 10" lists detailing the highs and lows—remember, all in good fun!

My Top 10 Reasons To Write for Bleacher Report…

10. Bleacher will publish anything you write, whether it is any good or not—even poetry about Roger Federer without complaining, as long as it gets over 500 reads and picked up by CBS.

9. You have flexible hours and no need to spend money buying gas or eating out—as a shut-in, you can survive on delivery pizza, toenail clippings, and distilled "raisin jack" from your bathtub.

8. You can promote yourself by providing links to your poetry and personal diary blogs...also: ransom notes, shopping lists, dry-cleaning claim slips, and your kids' forged "why I missed school" notes.

7. You never have to wear clothes when you write; while you're at it, take a series of pictures of yourself to use for a "Guilty Pleasures" slideshow and a probable AOTD!

6. You can read about stuff you like and call it "research"; otherwise, you can really research stuff, but then only 12 people will actually read your article.

5. You can be anyone you wish, including but not limited to Jillie J. Jones; when you're finally committed, though, it will save valuable time on the paperwork if you only use one name.

4. You become a magnet for all kinds of crazy people just like you, and, with any luck...none of them will find you at home, if you know what I mean...

3. You have plenty of time for snack breaks or vodka-tonic interims, or you can skip the juvenile site entirely and just focus on the booze and Cheetos.

2. Writing is a cheap form of self-analysis, so you can fire your psychotherapist—for those who can't quite get a grasp of what Dr. Phil is talking about.

1. You can write about stuff you know nothing about and use that experience to become a community leader, editor, or administrator.

Pt. 2: Other Contributions

I asked people I know to provide me with their "Top 10 Reasons" entries to add to my list and some of them did, thankfully. Here are their contributions. Pick your favorites!

Robert Orzechowski

1. Where else can I go and become three different characters? 

2. I am holding out for a hate list to go with the fan list.

3. I still believe that the players I write about will read my articles.

4. I write to be right. 

5. Seems that nobody is writing Roger Federer poetry these days.

6. I aspire to be backup to the backup to the backup to community leader.

7. I only write to see what Maryam can come up with in graphics. 

Rocky Getters

1. In hopes that someday B/R will be a paying Web site and I can make a living writing all my nonsense.

2. To earn a date with a female editor here.

3. To annoy people by continuing to write!

4. So I can be up-to-date with the mutant trolls.

5. But no. The most important reason is that I love writing. I love being able to express myself in front of people who care. And...oh, let's cut the crap. Back to reason No. 1.

Casper: REASONS TO CONTINUE TO WRITE

1. Roger...what would he do without your words to cheer him up?

2. Roger—you are his biggest fan.

3. Roger—you keep him on the front page

4. Roger—you got to touch his knee in your imaginative interview.

5. What else would you do?

6. Think of the memories it has evoked.

7. Who would I tell of the up-and-coming victories..

8. You should write for as long as Roger plays.

Is that enough reasons...or how about..'cause you just like it?

Long John Silver

1. You've had a RESPLENDENT career so far in here.

2. Helps you promote [F]Evangelism.

3. Maybe one day you can whip yourself into believing that you are actually Joan Crawford.

4. To promote the only perfectly logical theory—that all MEN are evil in the Garden of Eden. Women are always the ones whom the world sins against, no?

5. Rafa is FAKING his knee injury; he is so delusional that, since he faked it, he missed W. because of it.

6. Need to go on a campaign: to make sure that ROD and Nole behave well. You don't CARE for 'em.

7. Need to say that Antarctica is the most beautiful place in the world—w/o ever visiting it. Wait, do they play tennis there?

8. And yes—you continue writing because one day you wanna be funny in print as well.

Sergey

1. Why Roger Federer is the best thing to happen to mankind since the discovery of fire, the wheel, and sliced bread put together?

Leroy Watson

1. Because Roger Federer just MIGHT stop winning majors if you don't write about him!

Feng

1. One of the reasons I joined B/R was because I read many of your wonderful articles (and comments) on tennis. 

LJ Burgess

1. Because you may be the only one here that knows who Roscoe Tanner is...

Xeno-philous F

1. You should quit or relax or downgrade the level of your articles after you become No. 1 because we newbies won't have a chance if you continue to take all the charm. 

Please feel free to add additional reasons or vote on your favorites in the comment thread! We have had a few bumpy moments, but what a year! Thanks to all of you...