Liver Rants On More Babies, Dallas Cowboys Curses and Farve: Part 2

SON OF A BITCH IF I DIDN’T FALL FOR IT, Brett F***ing Farve signs a 2 year - $25 million contact with Minnesota and Mr. Magoo. The level of contempt the Liver has in his sports heart for Farve is one that few athletes have been and even fewer return. The Liver now roots for ANY TEAM that plays the Vikings this year. And as Gene Hackman says to Morgan Freeman in Unforgiven as he whips him “not gentle like I been doin' but... baaaad.” Not only do I root against the ENTIRE Minnesota Vikings organization this season and next if the bastard lives through this one, but I root for Farve to hear that snap that haunts that Redskin bastard Joe Theisman every day of his life. The Liver’s views on what Brett Farve has done this off-season are well-known and often lamented Bleacher Report lore.

Let’s just start with the arrogance of this prick. So he basically lied two weeks ago when he ended off-season no.6 of the “Will Brett Retire or Not” show when he said he physically couldn’t do it anymore? Check. He skips nearly ALL of Vikings training camp? Check. He arrives by private jet and entourage? Check. He is promptly handed the Vikings starting QB spot? Check. Tarvaris Jackson and Sage Rosenfels are THAT BAD that this idiotic organization is willing to bet the farm on a soon-to-be 40-year-old QB that FELL APART last December? Check. Jets fans can chime in any time. He’s your savior? Check. The Minnesota Vikings are the most chicken s**t organization in pro football? Check. Are Michael Vick and the Eagles secretly thanking the football gods that the Farve circus will be even bigger than the Vick circus? Check.

I love Steve Mariucci but if he believes that hunk of s**t Farve told him that his daughter saying “Daddy I want you to play” was the KEY FACTOR in him calling Brad Childress and telling him he wanted to play, I’ve got some ranch property in Provo, Utah I’d like to sell him.
        
All I can say to you Brett is like the great Irwin Fletcher said to John Boyd, “God, I admire you.” What a role model you are. Real class guy. So he’s gonna try and break the hearts of Packers fans who live and die with the team and watched him at his best and “most” of his worst and give a big “f’ you” to Ted Thompson?  Check. But no, Brett is “special.” Not only does he do all of the above, but he also goes to the Green Bay Packers’ MOST HATED rival. And this prick had the nerve to say, “If you’re a real Packers fan, you’ll understand.” Why doesn’t he just drink some turpentine, urinate on every Packers fan that has ever lived, then throw a lit match?

Packers/Vikings hatred is like Cowboys/Redskins type of hatred. Farve has no shame and no class. F**K him and this “good ‘ol boy” and “aw shucks” bit he tries to portray. Thank Christ I’m not the only one that has this hatred for him. I’m sure that my feelings are nothing compared to die-hard Packers fans right now that probably want to see his head on a stick paraded around Lambeau Field.

This is akin to Roger Staubach retiring in 1979 from the Cowboys and then coming back to play for the Washington Redskins. Can ANYONE picture Tom Brady or Peyton Manning pulling this s**t? No, they put their personal interests aside and think of THE TEAM. They show up for all of training camp. You can’t play football any other way Brett.

The Vikings are going to be a potentially dominant team in the NFC this season. I say right now, as far as division winners, it’s Minnesota, Filthy, Atlanta, and Arizona. Wildcard teams could possibly include the Giants, Cowboys and Chicago. One of those team’s inclusion is more of a hopeful, optimistic type of pick if you know what I mean. 

But, MARK MY WORDS, the football gods are going to F**K this Vikings team come December and January just like they did with the Jets last season and it’s gonna be because of him. He’s doing this for PURELY SPITEFUL AND VINDICTIVE REASONS.

And Brad “Mr. Magoo” Childress is still the head coach of the Minnesota Vikings? Check.

And last but not least, in the category of “F**k, Technology is Scary These Days,” EA Sports Madden ’10 was released LAST WEEK but you can download the roster updates of teams as they happen so the Liver has already seen screen shots of Brett Farve in a Vikings jersey playing against, WHO ELSE, the Packers and, even more sickening, Michael Vick playing QB for the Eagles AND lining up in a wildcat formation.

Did I forget to thank you football gods for that whole Vick/Eagles bit? Hook ‘em f***g HORNS!