B/R Tennis Creatures Watch USO Finals (Humour)

Roddick was walking out into the Court. He had come up short by the breadth of a hair four times after that Wimbledon finals.

And only the previous day had some nut-job, having found his mobile number by some means only he knew, had called him and talked at length over about some new "Law of Physics" having something to do with his losses against Roger. It seemed that he would continue to lose against this man, unless some extra-ordinary scenario occured.

Rod did try cutting the call, but could not - he was told that a new version of a Jamming Device was available which could, instead of cutting off your calls, jam your device into not cutting a particular call.

Having put that at the occurrence back of his mind, he decided to concentrate on the match. He looked all over the crowd, just to ease into the atmosphere, and one particular group caught his attention.

All of them were wearing a T-shirt with the logo in the photo shown here. He studied the group with some interest. They were sitting in two rows - each row having over ten-fiteen people. He had never before seen them among his fans, or Roger's fans for that matter.

He noticed that they had booked a seat in the middle of the front row among them, and put a board on it with the picture of a question mark! They seemed...crazy!

His attention was first drawn towards a girl who was looking at Roger intensely. She was ecstatic, the "Oh my God" sort of ecstasy. She was following Roger closely, every movement of his, and all sorts of awed expressions passed over her face. Rod felt like shouting out, "get a grip, gal, the guy is married and has kids!"

He then saw a man, looking at him with some amusement and sarcasm (Sar-Casim?). Though his smile seemed innocent in some way, Roddick felt a chill in his spine when the face of the man morphed itself into the face of Heath Ledger in Batman, in his mind's imaginary eyes.

A couple caught his attention next - a girl and an older lady sitting in the bottom row of the group. The girl had a copy of Harry Potter, and she had a black-stick pointed at him, and she was reading something from the book. The older lady looked a bit mature - not all that mature of course - and had a broom in her hand. Rod felt like saying, "Do these people still exist!"

At the exact opposite side on the same row, Rod saw another one looking at him with "pleasurable consternation and consternated pleasure"**. She had the looks of a poetess - Kelly? Oh! Rod just remembered that he had gotten whacked in the back in school for thinking Kelly was female. Anyway, she looked all, "literary." He didn't gel with those guys. Why speak in twisted similies and metaphors when you could say the same thing in plain English!

Another bloke was sitting on the back-row of the group having a small table in front of him. The table had beer cans arranged in eight rows of eight. Rod sensed that though this guy used to have beer a lot, he had started on this scale only very recently. Looking at him, Rod could not help thinking that he belonged to the front row seat with the question mark. Perhaps he used to be there up front and moved to the back only recently. Perhaps the drinking was connected with this.

He then saw a lady sitting close to the middle of the group having a laptop, a calculator and a sheaf of papers in front of her. She was frantically calculating some thing and was talking over the phone to someone else, perhaps arguing. In between she was looking at him through a telescope. He could not but help thinking that it would be amusing to see the nut-job and this lady argue.

He saw then another guy who looked at him benevolently, as if to say, "Man, you lost on many occasions, but don't be sad. You are a true champion. The fighting is more important than the winning, no?" The guy was also frequently looking for someone in the commentary box. Johny Mac? Nah, he looked like a goody-two-shoes and he and Mac won't go together.

Then he saw a banner that took his life away!

.....................__________________________________.-.................................................... ...................//............................................__________|....H..A..T..E....Y..O..U....R..O..D...... ..................//...........______________________/................................................................. .................//.........../....||(...)./............................................................................................. ................//.........../.___\\__/.............................................................................................. ...............//........../..........................................................................................................

A girl was waving that banner at him furiously with all the hatred in the world.

Then he saw that man! He looked dead-serious. Seemed like a Tennis Player. He had the penetrating eyes of an analyst. Suddenly he heard voices in his head, as if that man was speaking to him. "Go to the Zone Roddick! If I could be in the Zone, you can be too! I couldn't beat my Clayton. But I believe you can!"

The word, "Zone" reverberated in his head. He started feeling a surge of adrenalin. He looked at Federer with the eyes of a Killer.

The rest, as they say is history.

After the match, Roddick wanted to talk to the nut-job and have a laugh at him. But seemed the nut-job had jammed his own mobile. He was never to be heard of again. There are stories that he annihilated himself with some antiMatter.

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* The picture for this article is from reredeF0regoR's profile. Thank you Maryam!

** Phrase borrowed from "The Name of the Rose" by Umberto Eco