To the Poor Toronto Blue Jays: A Sincere Thank You from the Rest of MLB

Back in December, I wrote the Football Gods must be crazy after a particularly surreal weekend on the National Football League's gridiron. 

Now, it's June and time for an article in similar spirit about Major League Baseball. But it can't be the same.

You can't write that article during the baseball season.

For one thing, there is no fell swoop of games followed by days of inaction during which you can digest what just happened, ponder what will happen, and assess what it all means.

Professional baseball comes at you in a steady progression of contests.

For another, crazy things are always happening on the pro diamond. It's the nature of the game—terrible underdogs will sweep away juggernauts on regular-if-infrequent occasion, and you will see something new on almost every trip to the ballpark.

Most importantly, though, the Baseball Gods are NOT crazy. They are cruel.

Mercilessly cold-blooded with a malicious sense of humor.

Currently, they're getting their kicks off the Toronto Blue Jays. And it's gotten ugly.

This poor organization suffers the indignity of having to slog its way through the morass of elite talent in the American League East. There's no need to sing the relative praises of the Boston Red Sox, New York Yankees, and Tampa Bay Rays. Even the Baltimore Orioles seem intent on joining the party—take a look at their farm system.

But forget about the birds from Baltimore, because we're talking 2009 here, and their talent won't be ready until 2010 at the very earliest.

This year, the Blue Jays basically needed a miracle to make the playoffs. They needed two of the three favorites atop the division to stumble, and they needed to play scintillating baseball. 

As the winter developed, it was tough to figure which of those ingredients was the least likely.

The Jays, already staring at an uphill battle to catch the trio that finished 1-2-3 in the division in 2008, watched impotently as the Bombers and BoSox engaged in a comparative orgy of offseason expenditure. Mark Teixeira, CC Sabathia, Nick Swisher, Brad Penny, John Smoltz, and Takashi Saito all joined the AL East, while A.J. Burnett and Rocco Baldelli switched allegiances.

Burnett was a doubly painful blow since it not only buttressed the Pinstripe rotation—a primary vulnerability—but also diminished Toronto's own stock of arms.

The last Canadian team left standing in the Show was simultaneously under attack from within. Specifically, the starting rotation was under siege.

Dustin McGowan—a promising 27-year-old right-handed pitcher with an impressive 2007 season on his résumé—was recovering from surgery intended to repair a torn/fraying labrum suffered while posting a decent encore performance in 2008. Once expected to see the field in 2009, McGowan's recuperation has been slower than anticipated, and his return this year is now in doubt.

Then there's Shaun Marcum.

Another 27-year-old righty boasting an impressive 2007 campaign, he was also injured in 2008 while putting together an even better encore than that on which McGowan was working.

Unfortunately for Marcum, he suffered a dissimilar injury. His surgery had that dreaded name attached to it—"Tommy John." Although Marcum's recovery from ligament replacement in his pitching elbow is progressing, the rumors of a return towards the end of 2009 seem ill-informed.

If the hurler is any use, it will only be late in the season, and Toronto figures to be done by then. So why risk it?

Once the season started, the Baseball Gods didn't relent.

Although the Blue Jays got off to a hot start and the preseason triumvirate struggled out of the gates, it was all part of the sick joke. Boston was the first to turn it around, then came the Yankees, and now Tampa is nipping at their heels.

Along the way, le club lost another young gun—this time it was 24-year-old Jesse Litsch. Yet another righty, Litsch was coming off the best '08 campaign of the three felled pitchers and had become the default No. 2 starter. His loss would've been far more catastrophic had Toronto not already grown numb to the atrophy.

Oh, but the misery didn't stop there.

Ricky Romero, a prized first-round draft pick and slick-throwing southpaw, had his ticket to the Bigs expedited in the wake of all the injuries. No surprise here—the lefty would toss about 20 innings of superb baseball before landing on the disabled list with a strained oblique courtesy of a violent sneeze.

Romero has since returned and appears to be finding his stride again.

But, lest you think the Baseball Gods have gone soft, I offer ace relievers Casey Janssen and Scott Downs.

Janssen, a right-hander, has been a shadow of his former filthy self in '09 and just landed on the DL with inflammation in the shoulder on his throwing noodle. 

Not good. 

Downs, a left-hander, was enjoying a lights-out season as the Jays' primary setup man and then closer when another injury (to the ineffective and fragile B.J. Ryan) opened the door.

He, too, is now on the shelf—taken down by a sprained toe inflicted by a careless break from the batter's box (that damned rule requiring pitchers to hit in the National League!).

Yet, despite the aftermath of all that carnage, the most depraved blow from the Baseball Gods was still to come.

Through it all, the Toronto Blue Jays had one stalwart. One slab-toer who would take the pill every fifth day, trudge through the inexorable punishment, and twirl a gem with middle finger raised to the Gods.

Salvation, thy name was Roy Halladay.

With his compadres in a tattered heap, the 2003 AL Cy Young went out and won 10 games in 14 starts while losing only one. He posted a 2.53 earned run average and a 1.039 WHIP in 103 innings pitched, whiffing 88, walking 12, and chucking three complete games and a shutout for good measure.

But even Doc couldn't dodge rain drops forever.

The Mormon's luck ran out when he suffered a pulled groin on June 12 against the Florida Marlins and...guess where he is now?

If you said, "the disabled list," you're correct. 

If you didn't, well, you're an idiot because it should've been obvious where I was going.

So that means the Toronto Blue Jay rotation now consists of Scott Richmond, Brian Tallet, Romero, Brad Mills, and Brett Cecil. That would be 16, 19, eight, one, and five career starts, respectively.

Or about as many as Doc Halladay has in his pulled groin.

Romero, Mills, and Cecil all made their Major League debuts this year.

Remember, this is a team facing three of the best teams in all of baseball over 50 times in the 162-game slate. A franchise that must leapfrog two of those three just to eke into the postseason.

A team facing essentially insurmountable odds before the season even started.

Which made them the perfect target for those hard-hearted puppet masters.

It could be worse—not for you, Toronto fans, you're pretty much cooked. But for the other baseball fans who live in fear of their wrath, the Blue Jays are keeping the Baseball Gods busy.

For now.

**www.pva.org**