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Darren Collison Has More Balls Than Me

AndyApr 28, 2008

You know, something has been on my mind the last few daysโ€ฆand noโ€ฆit ainโ€™t Cowanโ€™s ACL or Olsonโ€™s pinky toeโ€ฆits something that makes me sorta flutter inside. It makes me feel as if I need to reevaluate my own life. And it makes me respect the hell out out of one particular UCLA player:

Darren Collison.

Now, this guy could have showed up to an NBA Draft workout with a joint and a fourteen-year-old hooker and he STILL would have been guaranteed the first round. And a first round guarantee, is of course, guaranteed $$$$$$. Probably around a million a year, at least (Farmar started out making 1 million a year and he was a late first round selection).

So he said, you know what? Screw the money, I love UCLA, Iโ€™m loyalto UCLA, Iโ€™m loyal to this program, and Iโ€™m loyal to coach Howland. Itโ€™s a loyalty so strong, that itโ€™s worth more than a million dollars to him. Wow.

Now, donโ€™t take this as a jab at Kevin Love. Far from it. Iโ€™d have done the same thing Love would have done. Christ, If I were Collisonโ€ฆIโ€™d probably have only one thing to sayโ€ฆ

Iโ€™d be soooooo outta here. Iโ€™d walk around in something like this with my own personal ballwasher:

That scepter is too short thoughโ€ฆoh well.

Anyways, I tip my crown to Collison. What a pimp. Now, three things I would buy if I had a million dollars:

1) A midget on a leash.
2) an Eastern European country
3) Lindsay Lohan

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