Red Mamba Goes All Gangster on Some Carrots

Mom always told you to eat your vegetables—just not like this.

Though you probably thought there were only so many ways you could crush some carrots, Matt Bonner proves you were mistaken.

The Basketball Jones' Trey Kerby found footage via Reddit of Bonner, clad with sunglasses and cloaked in San Antonio Spurs black and silver, going ham on some (naturally seasoned) carrots.

Swaying his hips to the beat of ominous "Matt Bonner; he's Matt Bonner" background vocals, Red Mamba shows us how to eat healthy while looking like a G.

Abiding by the stringent rules of the food pyramid never looked so good.

Sorry—I mean dope, yo.

The music, Bonner's awkward dance moves and blatant finger-pointing would normally be enough motivation for us to distance ourselves from the couch and nosh on some flavored orange sticks, but Bolthouse Farms takes it one step further.

Next to Bonner is a dancing martial arts enthusiast turned fedora-lover, along with a cross between Ashton Kutcher from his Punk'd days and that hipster from Starbucks who once asked for a bite of your rice-krispy treat. They really bring the video home with their dancing and hand-talking.

Everything about this commercial defies the laws of childhood. Carrots aren't supposed to be cool or all about that thug life. They're supposed to be for strait-laced ninnies who don't know how to bust a move.

Turns out, however, you can eat your veggies and gain some serious street cred at the same time. What a relief.

Almost needless (but not quite) to say, I'm sold.

Please excuse me while I acquire a bag of baby carrots, a pair of shades and someone with a voice deeper than James Earl Jones who can serenade me in foreboding tones whilst I snack.

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