Why I Killed Joe Borowski in My Sleep

Nino Colla@TheTribeDailySenior Writer IApril 8, 2008

I wasn't going to do it. After watching Memphis choke away the National Title, I was headed off to bed.

But my inadvertent nap at three in the afternoon gave me enough energy.

That extra energy and the closeness of the game, prompted me to say, let's ride this one out.

So there I was, up until one in the morning, watching Joe Borowski rip my heart out.

I was ready to turn in after the big comeback. Joe Saunders of the Angels continued his dominance over the Tribe. He went eight fantastic innings giving up only one earned run and four hits.

Then the Indians hit a bit of luck as an injured Francisco Rodriguez came into the game to nail it down.

Bad ankles and all, Rodriguez walked Hafner, surrendered a double that Vladimir Guerrero misplayed, another double by Jhonny Peralta, and one more walk before getting pulled.

The Tribe added another insurance run, which makes all the difference in the world with Jumpin' Joe as your closer.

Joe wasn't Jumpin' early Tuesday morning.

It was his alter-ego, Blowin' Borowski. Blowin' Borowski isn't as evil as Jumpin' Joe is. Jumpin' Joe is the fun uncle, the one that toys around with you.

Jumpin' Joe is a teaser, the superior being that puts a 10-spot on you in two innings of a baseball game, then let's you claw your way back to within a few runs, right before he pulverizes you with 12 more runs, and strikes out the remaining six hitters.

Blowin' Borowski is the evil nemesis that gets you to that brink of relief, but then pulls the chair out from under you.

The typical Indians' fan doesn't like either version of Joe Borowski. But I've come to love Jumpin' Joe, and understand his ways of living.

However, last night was the stomach churners to end all stomach churners.

Torii Hunter has never really "killed" the Indians when he was a Twin, he has caused us grief, but last night he single handedly kicked our behinds.

Hunter hit two long balls, including the game-winning grand slam. I went from being sleepy and ready to hit the pillow, to being angry and ready to run through a wall.

Have you ever had that real light sleep?

The one where you know you are kind of sleeping, but really you can feel your eyes open to your surroundings.

That type of sleep that isn't heavy, you are getting rest, but you are still having complete thoughts?

Well, maybe you aren't has messed up as I am, but that was the feeling I had last night.

I felt the satisfaction of knowing I had killed the evil part of Joe Borowski.

I don't know if it was a dream or because I muttered the words, "I'm going to go murder Joe Borowski in my sleep," to a friend. And those thoughts still lingered, but I felt like I actually strangled the guy.

In my mind, I killed the evil Blowin' Borowski.

For now at least, it’s only a matter of time before the human cigarette advertisement reappears.

I'd settle for Jumpin' Joe. I just don't want to see his nemesis. Most people don’t want either ruining their evening in the bullpen.

Then again, who does the Tribe have to really fill in right at this point in time?

Masahide Kobayashi, who still isn't used to the fact the bullpens are outside in the park rather than inside the clubhouse?

Rafael Betancourt hasn't exactly gotten off to a stellar start, and his numbers in save situations aren't exactly amazing.

Let's see how many heart attacks Borowski is going to give us before we axe him right now.

Eric Wedge won't make the knee jerk reaction most wannabe managers would make.

That is unless he had the dream I did.


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