Avery Johnson's Texas Home Has All The Staircases You Need for $9 Million

Avery Johnson is selling his Texas house. Although, it's a tad misleading to call the structure sitting atop the 73,675-square-foot lot simply a "house."

Yes, we might do well to call it a mansion, palace or just stand back and take it all in with mouths agape, because this abode is sizable. 

A tip of the hat to Busted Coverage, who spotted the listing over at Zillow.com. Below are some images from the original real estate website, Har.com, that prove Johnson has been doing just fine for himself. 

In all honesty, a great deal of the rooms here look like backdrops from a bad reality TV series. It's almost too ornate and opulent for its own good. 

I couldn't enjoy myself because I would be too scared to break all of the expensive swag hanging around the house. 

Still, I love what appears to be a guest room with a basketball key painted on the hardwood flooring, something that will sadly remain a dream. 

Also, this patio is truly the kind of classy environment in which a man can get some thinking done while he spends all day grilling. 

As for details, the lot is at the end of a cul-de-sac, giving you all the privacy and extravagance money can buy. For the listed price of $8,995,000, though, you would think the home was built on the moon. 

I am guessing such a ridiculous price tag has you wondering what else this monstrosity has to offer. Here is a description from Har.com: 

"

2 Staircases, Alarm System - Owned, Breakfast Bar, Drapes/Curtains/Window Cover, Elevator, High Ceiling, Island Kitchen, Refrigerator Included, Fire/Smoke Alarm, Central Vacuum

"

See, the refrigerator comes with the house. If they throw in the family portrait, we are all in. Now let me see if I can just make the estimated monthly mortgage payments of $33,698, according to Zillow.com. 

Nope.

Well, it looks like I am a few dimes short of getting into any kind of bidding war. We will go ahead and give up hope of owning a home that features not one, but two staircases, an elevator and a pool with fountains. 

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